"He was fire, I was Ice. We were too different, yet we were just the same."
-
Everything bad was happening to Jin all at once that he was certain he'd burned down a nation in his previous life. His world was freefalling and he just needed an escape...
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"I'm really sorry that I can't be there with you," Hoseok said sourly through the phone. His call had come in at past 3 in the morning and I knew his tight schedule had been the reason for the late night call. "I wish there was a way I could make you feel better but I know nothing I do would make a difference."
With my head in my hand, I said quietly. "Hearing your voice is enough. You sound well. How's training?"
"Training's fine," Hoseok said with a sigh. "But I didn't call to talk about my training or even about myself. I called because I want to talk about you. How are you holding up?"
I shrugged, although I knew Hoseok couldn't see me. "I don't know. You know how things were when he left the first time?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, this hurts ten times more. I've had a panic attack like 8 times since I found out. Sometimes I feel like I'm accepting it. I tell myself that it's for the best, at least, he won't have to suffer anymore. But then it's surreal, he really is gone and I'd never see him again, and it-" My voice cracked and I took a moment before continuing. "It feels like my heart's about to implode. It's not even a day yet."
"Oh, God. I'm sorry. I-" Hoseok was obviously torn and frustrated about the news and how I was taking it. "I don't- Do you need me to come back? I'll come back. I don't care what the agency says." There was shuffling around him and I could imagine him leaving his bed in his dorm and going to pack up some stuff.
"No, Hoseok. Wait. You don't need to come back."
"I do. You need someone around you. I'll come back and stay for a few days before-"
"I'm not alone," I said, turning a little to where Jungkook was sleeping half naked on my bed. He looked so peaceful and I could almost feel the same way just by looking at him. A shaky exhale left my lips, as I looked away. "I have Namjoon, remember?"
Even if I was in love with Jungkook—head over sneakers and all that—I couldn't bring myself to say anything about him to Hoseok. I respected Hoseok too much and would never intentionally break his heart.
At least, not yet, because I wouldn't hide Jungkook forever, and one way or another, everyone I cared about would have to know about him and that included Hoseok.
"Jin, please, let me be there for you."
"Talking to you is enough for me, Hoseok," I said sincerely. I had been getting so many calls all evening which I had avoided. Hoseok's was the only I answered because even though I knew the others meant well and I appreciated each of them, Hoseok was different, he was like my soulmate, regardless of our fucked up situation.
"You want me to believe that?"
"Yes, Hoseok. I'd never lie to you, you know that. I want you to stay and continue with your training because despite everything, I want the best for you and breaking rules is not going to be in your favor."
