Early Bird (Erkenci Kus)(Part 2)

56. Everything's been said

Staring at his hands blankly, Can turns his head slightly when he sees white sneakers enter his eyeline but he doesn't look up, he just looks away from them again.

"Can?"

He wanted to look at her with everything in him, but he couldn't stand seeing her.

"Can we talk?" Sanem swallows, wiping at her eyes.

"I trusted you without question," he says in a quiet voice, blinking at the floor, "I fell in love for the first time in my life, without question, just like that...with you...Your innocence... I fell for what made you different from everyone else always wanting something from me...I fell in love with the heart that radiated nothing but goodness, and now..." Can finally looks up at her and her heart skips an uneven beat when he asks, "Where's the Sanem I love?"

Sanem bends down onto her knees, sniffing as fresh tears fill her eyes and puts her hands shakily on his knees to stay steady. "I'm here, Can. I'm here, look at me," she whispers as he looks down at her hands on his legs. "I made a mistake, I know that, and I'm ready for the punishment. I'll agree to everything you say without protest." She leans forward a little. "I'll tell you everything."

He closes his eyes so he didn't have to see her. "You can say whatever you want now, I'm done listening."

"Can - "

"If you want say that we meant nothing to you, do it, I don't care," he frowns, his jaw set tight. "But just  know that I never played games with you. I never mocked your love in front of everyone I know."

Sanem stares at him with sadness as he keeps avoiding her gaze.

"Say what you need to and leave," he says with no emotion, keeping his head turned.

"I can't. I can't leave," Sanem sniffs and shakes her head. "I can't live without you. That's why I didn't tell you. I couldn't hurt - "

"Sanem, please just stop," Can begs and she swallows. "It's over," he looks into her eyes saying this and then repeats it. "It's over. Nothing you do or say interests me anymore."

"You don't mean that," she breathes.

"Go, or I'll break your heart further," Can nods at the door.

Sanem blinks at the tears and then slowly gets up, her legs shaking. She wipes her eyes and nose, looking down at him one more time before she slowly walks towards the door.

Can closes his eyes as she leaves, trying to breathe past his broken heart and his numb limbs.

-

Emre races down the street, glaring out the window. He can barely see straight and pulls over on the side of the road with his tyres screeching to a halt.

"Damn it!" he yells and hits the wheel. "Damn it all! Fuck!"

He unbuckles and gets out, feeling trapped inside the car. Slamming his palms onto the roof of the car a few times, he screams out in anger and pushes off it, unable to keep it in.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

He takes a couple of deep breaths and then leans on the roof with his arms, staring at his reflection in the metal.

"Fuck..." He mutters and drops his head on his arms, shaking his head.

**

Sanem had decided to walk all the way after leaving Can's house, her mind swirling with memories. She couldn't stop them.

"What's your name?"
"Sanem."
"Sanem?" She'd nodded then, his eyes roaming her face.

"How can you be this innocent?"
With no answer she couldn't say anything to that.