Baby

• Self Pt. 2 •

C h a p t e r
F o r t y - S i x

GRIEF was a very distinct emotion. It was heavy and imposing, demanding attention. And no matter how seemingly small or unimportant the loss. Grief was strong.

Baby felt like an imposter standing at the grave of a man she knew nothing about, she hadn't spent time with him or held his hand. She felt like an imposter as she cried over the grave of Elijah Carson. As she stared at his tombstone, the words 'loving husband and father' felt like a branding scar into her skin.

She had never had him as her father. But knowing that she lost the chance was enough to make the loss feel paramount. All-consuming.

“You found it.” Jenna's voice rang out from behind her. Once she made her way over to Baby, the girl tried to wipe her tears frantically.

Jenna glanced at her daughter then said morosely, “You're allowed to cry for him. His still your father.”

Baby processed her words slowly. Her vision blurred by tears when she looked at her mom. The pain in her chest pulled taut and restricted her breathing.

“Why did you keep me from him?” She questioned, aggrieved.

For a moment, Jenna lost her calm façade and looked briefly remorseful. But then her bitterness bubbled to the surface once again and she apathetically answered Baby.

“When he left me I hated him and knowing that I kept the one thing he wanted most from him made me feel better.” She stared down at his grave with a empty look in her eyes. “I would've let him see you, but he had gotten married and I just let jealousy get the better of me.”

A pained sound left Baby's lips, her legs feeling weak. She crumpled and kneeled down onto the sun-warmed grass beside her father's grave. The anger she felt towards her mother was overrun by more anguish.

“I'm sorry. For not being a mother, and depriving you of a good life.” Jenna vocalised, she let Baby cry but continued to speak, “I realized a while back that I was wrong. When I saw you speaking to that boyfriend of yours outside his house. Percy is a good man. He treats you well, and you deserve it Baby. You're better than I ever was and will be. You're kind and loving, you have your fathers eyes and his heart.”

The grass was trampled beneath her boots as she moved, laying her hand on Baby's shaking shoulder.

“For what it's worth. Your father would have loved you. He always wanted a daughter.”

♥️

Baby curled up against Brielle's warm embrace, the soft squeeze of her arms around her midsection giving her comfort. The two girls had been cuddled up on Brielle and Colin's couch for the entire afternoon. Hidden underneath a fluffy blanket, their pajama covered legs intertwined.

“You awake?” Brielle whispered down at Baby.

Baby twisted in her friends arms and gazed up at her, “What's up?”

The redhead scanned her face for a moment and shook her head, “No, what's up with you.”

On autopilot, Baby's instinctive response was to deflect the subject of why she was in such a terrible state but Brielle knew her too well to fall for her tricks and was much too stern to feed into it.

“Your feelings matter Baby, just tell me what's going on and I'll do my best to understand. To support you.” Brielle reached up and brushed some hair behind Baby's ear, “I'm here for you.”

Baby's lips formed a pout, "I'm trying.” She could feel the beginning of tears forming.

With a little internal resistance she started anyway, “I, went to my father's grave today. And it feels like I lost another parent, like he left me all alone just like my mom did.”

Then as she cried and lamented, and the unfair weight of grief pushed down on her entire being. Brielle held her and cried with her. Held her heavy body close, making sure she knew she wasn't alone.

________

Edited. (maybe, I was fucking sobbing so I dunno)

authors note: so maybe I don't wanna end this story in the next ten chapters... I can't let it go yet. Lol. All I feel is pain.