BTS Imagines

Yoongi - strawberries and cigarettes

Everything reminded me of him. The guitar in the corner of the room used to get played every night but now it just sits there collecting dust. The piano that he used to play in the morning sits with the the lid closed, rusting away. The lighter hanging from the chain with his initials, hung on the hook next to the guitar. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of any of them. The memories each product brought was too tough to get rid of.

It's been 6 months since we parted ways. I sit and wonder every day if he is doing alright? Has he moved on already? Has he eaten? Does his shoulder still irritate him? My finger hovered over his name on my contact list, hesitating to ring him or not. I stood underneath the tree in the park watching people enjoying their day. 

"Y/N?"

I turned my head slightly to see Namjoon and Jimin.

"Hi"

"It's cold out here. Are you ok?"

"If I say I am fine would you ever believe me?"

"No, because we know you're not fine. You never answer our texts and calls anymore since everything ended. But we can't leave you without making sure you are home and in the warmth"

"I didn't want to end it. He promised everything would be ok. That I wouldn't get hate or death threats. Look what happened. I had to end it before it got even worse. You don't have to tell me, but I need to now how he is?"

"Truth is Y/N, Yoongi is a wreck. He only leaves his studio to shower or walk Holly. He's barely eating. We have tried everything. He can't focus on music like he used to"

"You know everything reminds me of him. Even if it just rains the slightest bit I get a memory of our relationship. I see couple cuddled up on the benches and I get reminded of how we used to cuddle when it was cold and gloomy outside"

"Have you tried telling this to him?"

"I keep wanting to call him but I never bring myself to do so. I never know if he hates me"

"He doesn't hate you. He is just still confused over the break up. He knows you two were happy and he just doesn't understand why you basically let the haters win"

"You don't think I know that guys. I made a fool of myself and I made it worse because now I'm getting the hate for making him depressed again. I can't win either way. Look guys I appreciate you for stopping and talking to me but I am in no mood to take this conversation further. I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the day"

Before they could say anything I walked away. I wiped away the tears that were threaten to spill. It's true, I missed him so much. So much that it hurt. I wish I had the guts to go to his studio or house and just apologise for hurting him. 

---

Another week had passed and it hurt even more. I got myself out of the house and headed towards the café down the road from my house. I sat at the table in the corner away from the crowds of people. The smell of smoke from the cigarettes and coffee drifted through the air. The atmosphere was calm. People were talking and some were working. As I was drinking my coffee I saw a familiar notebook on the the table diagonal to me. It could be that everyone has the same notebook, but the way it was messy with papers around it was all too familiar. I felt the barista standing next to me as she refilled my coffee cup. 

"That guy has been coming here for the last two months, ordering the same thing and yet he leaves with nothing done"

"What exactly is he doing?"

"Writing songs. Don't know who he is as he always wears a bucket hat and a mask. We've gone through so many strawberries the last two months"

"Strawberries and cigarettes. Interesting combination"

"Hmm, along with iced coffee"

Iced Coffee? Strawberries and cigarettes? I only knew one person that had those things when they stressed on work. I quickly finished my coffee before exiting the café. What I failed to notice was that I dropped my key ring on the floor. 

---

It was 1am and I was strolling around the park near Han River. I couldn't sleep. The strawberries and cigarettes from earlier never left my mind. Why is that the simplest things that remind me of him? Why can't I get him out of my mind? There were a few people out by the park eating late night ramen and drinking soju. I had stopped by the store on the way over to get the two things I couldn't get out of my head, those damn strawberries and cigarettes. 

I went to get the lighter out of pocket but felt it gone. I can't lose that lighter. I just can't. I checked my bag to see if it was there but nothing. 

"Are you looking for this?"

I turned around and see a pair of shoes before I lifted my head to see a masked man wearing a bucket hat. He was holding a lighter in his hand, specifically the one with the initials on. 

"Umm, thanks. How do you know it was mine?"

"Telling the truth. I have been stalking you"

"Great way to start the conversation"

"I see you kept the lighter and you kept up with the strawberry and cigarette combination?"

"How did--wait Yoongi?"

"Hi. Sorry that was creepy"

He eventually pulled his mask down letting me see his face. His features hadn't changed at all. His eyes still glistened like they had the galaxies in them. 

"Umm, thanks for the lighter but I can't be here"

"Y/N please. Can we talk. We haven't spoken since that day"

"I'm sorry Yoongi. I can't. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Please just forget that I ever existed"

"How do you except me to do that when you are the first girl I have ever loved. The first girl that showed me what love really was. I was able to open up to you about everything in my life from good to worse. Every time I wrote a song I always thought of you and I still do. All the times I finished a song the last couple of months I have wanted to ring you to tell you about it but I can't because you aren't there for me to call. I never cared about what the fans thought of our relationship. I just wanted you to be there whenever I woke up"

"Yoongi stop"

"The day you left because of the hateful things that the fans said about our relationship was the day I lost my mind. Y/N, I can't sleep let alone eat. I really miss everything we had Y/N. I feel like crying whenever I see something that reminds me of what we had and you know that I never really cry. Please Y/N, I would like to try again. Please"

"I hurt you that much. I'm sorry."

"Please don't ever apologise. I know you were protecting our relationship and me. I just want us to happen again"

"I love you Yoongi, but-"

"No buts, let's just take it one step at a time. Start fresh. 

I looked at him as he grabbed my hand and sat us down on the grass. I lifted up the cigarette box and pulled one out putting in my mouth as Yoongi did the same. I pictured that were in our studio apartment with Yoongi playing the piano as we smoked the shared cigarette. 

"I still love you Yoongi"

"I still love you Y/N. Never stopped and I don't plan on stopping"

"Maybe we could try again, but like you said take it slow. Start fresh"

"I would like that. But, please can I kiss you?"

"Sure"

His hand caressed my cheek as our lips touched. The sparks were still there as we kissed. The taste of strawberries and cigarettes exploded in my mouth as I smiled a little bit. 

"Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you"