BTS Imagines

Hoseok - fear

Today your niece and nephew were coming over for a play date with me and the guys. My niece was 7 and my nephew was 4 and they were adored by BTS, especially Hoseok. Everyone they were around, the biggest smile appeared on his face. I knew he wanted children but there's something I haven't told him about my past that involves children.

"Y/N, you there?"

"Huh?"

"I said the little ones are here"

"Ok"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm perfectly fine Tae"

"Let's go before Hoseok gets tired out from them again"

I followed Tae into the living area of their dorm to the place a mess already. Toys were splattered everywhere, colouring pencils had already made their to the floor leaving a few marks. I liked to my right to see Jimin be pounced on by my niece, she liked him the most. My nephew was busy cling onto Jin asking for food.

"You two just got here and you're already asking for food"

"Aunt Y/N! We were waiting for you but we got bored"

"Sorry. I had to do something"

"Come join us Uncle Hobi was telling a funny story before"

"Ok"

We walked towards where Hoseok was on the couch near the window as my niece climbed onto his lap and my nephew sat comfortably in mine.

•••

It had been two hours since they arrived and it has been 20 minutes since they fell asleep for their afternoon nap. We managed to clean up the place back to its original form. The whole time I watched as Hoseok played with them and I kept thinking how I wanted to give him that but the one thing that feared me weighed heavy on my heart. I was sat on the edge of our bed with my knees to my chest just hoping those tears don't fall.

"There you are"

I quickly wiped the few tears away before looking up and seeing Hoseok in the doorway.

"We're about to order some food. Do you want any?"

"No thank you. Are the kids still asleep?"

"Yep. Knocked out like a light"

"Ok"

I heard footsteps approach the bed and soon Hoseok crouched down and appeared in front of me.

"Jagi, are you ok? Ever since the kids have been asleep, you seem quiet. I'm worried about you?

"I'm sorry"

"Oh, why are you sorry. You've done nothing wrong. What's got you crying?"

"Today, just watching you play with the kids and seeing the smile on your face; it hurts because I have a fear that weighs heavy in my heart and it makes me sad because I know how much you want children but this fear keeps holding me back"

"What fear jagi?"

"I'm scared to have children in case I go through another miscarriage"

"Miscarriage?"

"When I was 19 I fell pregnant but the I wasn't strong enough to carry the baby and I lost it. I don't want that to happen again. I can't see you go through that heartbreak. I don't want to see the smile fall off your face because I can't be strong enough"

"Jagi, why did you keep this in? I would've understood. You're my girlfriend, I'm here to support you not judge you. I'm here to love you not leave you. I'm here to be by side through your darkest times because I care about you. Miscarriages happen but luck always plays out and maybe one day we'll have our own family, but there's no rush jagi. I love you so much and I want you to take your time. When you're ready, then I'll be waiting. You don't need to keep things like bottled up; that's why I'm here at anytime. I'm your boyfriend you can count on"

"Thank you so much, Hobi. I was so scared to tell you but thank you for understanding"

"It's not a problem"

He sat on the bed and pulled me into his lap as he rubbed circles on my back and placed a kiss on my lips. I don't deserve this man. He's so precious.

"I love you so much"

"I love you Hobi"