This Is Just Between Us

it's best to have it taught late rather than never

America pov
(art by my pumpkin crowsong on YouTube, Tumblr, and Wattpad {Rainbowstar772} )

I was washing the dishes when my door was pick locked.
Alaska:"That poor lockpicking I hear?! AUNT BELARUS!" I suggest everyone duck, she uhm... you'll see."
America:"Excuse me what?"
That's when the door was kicked open and an arrow went flying.
Alaska caught it with her hand.
Alaska:"Still got the catch."
Belarus:"OH LITTLE LASKY ASKY! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"
New York:"Alaska are all the nicknames your bio fam have for you always cheesy?"
Belarus:"I may as well put an arrow through your head for that kind of disrespect!"
Delaware:"Well this explains Alaska's behavior"
Then Alaska stabbed Delaware in the knee with the arrow she was holding.
Alaska:"You're lucky we're in modern day, or my aunt and papa would've gone full communist on you!"
Belarus:"Why care if it's modern day? I'M HUNGRY!"
Alaska:"No eating my brother, you can Rhode island or Ohio, although Ohio has green blood and I already took Rhode Island's kidneys..."
Russia:"Enough arguing and threats, world war 3 hasn't happened yet and the Russian civil war ended years ago."
Alaska:"Papa has a point auntie."
Belarus huffed.
Belarus:"The amount of wars I've had with my entire family aside, where's the slut and the transgender one? Along with the book nerd?"
New York:" Do you mean me or West Virginia?"
Alaska:"She means you Yorks. Anyways, GEORGIA! GET YOUR RACIST ЖОПА(ASS) HERE NOW!"
That's when everyone sees an ax fly across the hall as she storms in.
Georgia:"Alaska I will strangle your Russian bum."
Belarus:"Holy shit! You are racist!"
Alaska:"I'm half afghan you idiot."
Georgia grumbles before calming down and turning to Belarus and Russia.
Georgia:"Another one?"
New York:"Georgia, that's rude. Mississippi, come here, a Russian Afghan is here for ya!"
Mississippi then comes running in very excited.
Mississippi:"PAPA! and someone I don't know-"
Belarus:"I'm his hot sister, I got the racist one some makeup and shoes, star eyes has some skimpy underwear and heart shaped sunglasses, and the book nerd has my tips!"
Georgia:"Great! Is everyone going to continue to call me that? THAT MINDSET LEFT ME YEARS AGO! Also what did I hear about makeup and shoes?"
New York:"Uhm... about the sunglasses... I prefer my star ones but I can try the heart ones too! Also skimpy underwear? Could use some of that."
Mississippi:"So you're the sister Papa was talking about? He said you want to be an author! I do too!"
Belarus:"I'm all yours kiddo! Ok uhm...what's the yorker's name?"
New York:"New York state, but everyone calls me New York."
Belarus:"Here's your shit and uhm, I think your name is Georgia... Here's the makeup and shoes."
New York and Georgia ran off with their stuff and Mississippi walked off with Belarus.
He's so caring!
Russia:"Where's NJ and Dia?"
America:"New Jersey is out in his garden and Dia?"
Russia:"Florida, I call him Dia."
America:"Oh he's on a date with Michael."
I smirk.
Russia:"Maybe he's going to get lucky and be topped, that boy is a big bottom!"
I give him a confused look.
America:"What's a bottom? Oh by the way, what's a slut or a whore? My mom said it's the definition of Canada."
Russia then got on his knees and began to pray?
Russia:"Dear lord, please forgive me for what I'm about to explain. Goodness I thought I would only have to explain this to my daughter around the time she could get pregnant!"
America:"Russia what on earth are you talking about?"
Russia:"I have to explain sex to a 20 year old, do you want gay, straight, or both. You could go for both since the kids who have partners are getting nudes and from the curves of York and the behind of Indiana they're probably sending nudes back. Especially the high and middle schoolers, hormones are crazy at that time. I should know."
Ok now I'm even more confused, what is a nude? And why is he bringing up the curves of New York and the behind of Indiana?
America:"Ok why are you bringing up the body parts of my children?"
Russia:"My sister has a chest that catches the eyes of so many people that some guy wants to kill my entire family over her rejecting him and your sister has a habit of bragging about my brother's uhm... woman pleaser, so girls also want to go out with him despite the fact he plans of proposing next year and might've gotten Canada pregnant... nah, she's fine... I think-and it's been like that since he was like 7. So talking about underage girls and boys body parts for their safety. Those parts should only be seen by family and partners! So I bring it up for their safety, and due to this, let's talk about nudes."
I nodded.
Russia:"First things First, do you know what getting off is?"
I shook my head.
Russia:" Basically for girls they......."
After a bit he ended up telling me how girls self pleasure themselves along with boys....this explains why so many spoons went in the trash and why Canada had a hair brush that just stayed in a bag... this also explains the pictures of Michael Florida has.
America:"OH THAT BOY IS IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"
Russia:"You think them pleasuring themselves is bad, adding a player 2 makes it worse, for outsiders. It's better with another person!"
He laughed before explaining a lot of stuff...
Well this explains what that book was going on about, and that dream... oh dear god- that dream was with him, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
Russia:"That's just what it's like when straight, when gay it works a little different, something still goes inside a hole. Just a different hole."
He then explained what it is when gay.
Why would anyone want to put their mouth on that....
Russia:"With lesbians? That's a question for either my sister or your sister. Or Japan, heard from Ukraine that she and south are kinda freaky..."
America:"I don't want to know!"
Russia:"You should also know there are different terms."
America:"Terms....?"
Russia:"Yeah! Fuck, pound, laid, done, get it on, intercourse, sex, devil's tango, breeding, pound town, down and dirty, unholy love, all mean the same god damn thing."
America:"SWEET RICE CRISPY TREATS! A guy from our highschool wanted to have pound with !"
Russia:"Depending on the term depends on the way you say it. The guy wanted to pound you, not have pound. Also who the fuck- you're a father of 50, who wants to fuck that- no offense, you are a fairly attractive guy, adorable actually! But uhm, those kinds of activities are to be done when dating the person long enough and them being ok with your crazy amount of kids."
America:"I- I need a drink..."
He offered me his flask but I refused.
America:"I don't drink in front of others..."
Russia:"It's fine, you can trust me! Hell I'll stay over to play a drinking game with you! Maybe that'll lighten you up!"
I giggle, he's actually kinda cute when acting like this.
I could feel my face heat up a bit... what the actual hell.
Russia:"You're blushing, did I make you embarrassed? I'm Sorry."
America:"N-no, I just... nevermind, I'll think about it... but right now I need to think of a punishment for Florida."
Russia:"Just tie him up and glue him to the ceiling, always worked when Ukraine was fucking your sister like there was no tomorrow."
America:"1. I'll try it and 2. Never talk about our siblings sex life ever again. Please. It's gross enough knowing some of my kids are getting laid, I don't want to think about my sister and your brother doing that."
Russia:"Hey! You used "laid" correctly!"
America:"I don't know if I should be proud, ashamed, or uncomfortable..."
Russia:"Why not all 3?"
I laugh, maybe I will play the drinking game, but probably not.

AN: Yay! Double post!