Astray, book 2

Part Two: Chapter 9

TW: mentions of miscarriage
Five years ago
Original Sebastian pov

I silently sat across from Ava as she ate her precious waffles. She always looked so cute when she was eating something she loved. And as adorable as she was right now I still had the image of her this morning when we were making love.

She finally looked up and looked at me confused. "What?" She looked at my empty plate, "you already finished?"

"I like to eat fast so I can watch you," I smirked.

She rolled her eyes looking like her 15 year old self again. It's still amazing to me how long ago that was and how Ava is not only a Sallow now but also a the mother of my two children. I meant it that sorting ceremony when I said I had found the girl I would marry. And now look at her. Wearing my black button up shirt eating her favorite food I our kitchen.

Ava took the last bite and did a tiny little dance in her seat before looking at me. She smiled but I noticed immediately how it didn't reach her eyes. I know what she was thinking about. Our deep dark secret that not even Poppy knew about. I had told Ominis but only because I didn't know what to do. And I had sworn him to never tell his wife unless Ava tells her herself.

Eleazar and Anne had both been confused after on why they had to stay with their aunt and uncle after Cerus was finally defeated. We had told everyone that Ava was violently ill and needed quiet... I guess it wasn't entirely a lie.

And after those twins showed up saying they were also our children I think it almost broke Ava.

Now thinking back on it... I don't believe Ava has ever really addressed all the trauma in her life. As I tried to remember I watched her as she looked out the window watching the rain fall.

"Want to go on a walk?" I asked.

She smiled as she looked out the window, "actually... yeah."

We both got dressed to go. Ava stepped out first casting impervious with her wand. She looked so happy and yet I still didn't see her smile reach her eyes. She was trying to hide how she was feeling.

I followed after her as she walked abit ahead. The way she skipped through the puddles would definitely make someone who didn't know her think she was a teen and a mother in her 30s.

The way the rain fell and glistened around her made her look so beautiful. Almost like she was shinning. I was so in awe that I had completely forgotten to cast impervious myself and was now practically soaked to the bone.

Ava saw me and started laughing as she walked over to cover me as well. She smiled up at me lovingly. It actually reached her eyes this time which made me smile.

"Avs?" I asked softly as we started walking.

"Yeah?"

"I think... it's time to talk about it."

She stopped a walking for a split second before walking again. I realized she was heading for the sunflower field we had planted two years ago. She would stare at them when ever she was sad again.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

"But we never spoke to anyone."

"We didn't even know until it all happened." She shrugged. "It's okay.."

"It wasn't for me," I admitted. Ava stopped and looked at me sadly. "I know we didn't know, but I was heart broken."

I watched her look down at her feet. Her toes tapping softly against a puddle. We were now standing at the edge of the sunflower field.

"It broke my heart too..." her shoulder shuddered a bit. "Those poor kids.."

"Ava, we don't know if that was them,"

"But they haven't come back," she sighed.

"But El has. And he would tell us." I turned her to face me making the spell drop so that we were both being rained on now.

She looked up at me slowly. Tears were building in her eyes. Her nose was ding that cute thing where it turns red before she cries. "The doctor said it was far enough long that she could tell it was only one..." I admitted to her.

She wouldn't hear it when it happened. She just shut down and wouldn't bring it up. She was convinced she had ended the lives of those twins we had met.

"What?"

"You wouldn't let me tell you," I said sadly. "I'm sorry."

The tears finally slowly started to flow from her eyes. "It wasn't the twins?"

"It wasn't.."

"But I still feel so sad,"

"That's okay, we still lost a baby," I pulled her in tightly and hugged her as she started sobbing into my chest. "It's okay to be sad about it.... It's okay to even be sad about things that happened a long time ago."

I felt Ava's shoulder shake as she continued to cry.

"Even... things we don't remember." I said softly hinting to her childhood.

She finally took a deep breath and stepped back. "I know..."

"I've been talking to Marc..." I admitted to her. "I didn't tell him about..." I gestured to her belly. "But he and I think you need to talk to someone."

It took Ava a second but she nodded finally.

"And.. once you feel you are in a good place.. if you want to..." I said trying to make my face not turn red during a serious conversation.

"I'm pregnant again," Ava said suddenly making me almost trip.

"What?"

"That's why I've been so sad the past week, I went to the doctor when I went London. I found out.. and I've been stressed that it's going to happen again." She blurted out in what she and Eleazar call 'word vomit.'

I felt my hands already touching her belly. Her cheeks and nose were bright red from crying. She honestly looked really cute. But I couldn't even comprehend it because my brain was still reeling over what she told me.

"You're pregnant?" Was the smartest thing I could come up with.

"Yes,"

"It's mine?"

"Sebastian." She said in her mom voice.

A grin grew on my face as I leaned and crashed my lips against her. I felt her let out a sigh of relief as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

I pulled back quickly and smiled. "We are having another baby?"

"Maybe two," she corrected.

"Even better!" I jumped a bit and hugged her.

Both of us were soaked completely through our clothes but we didn't care. I spun her around laughing before putting my forehead against hers. She closed her eyes as we stood there for a moment.

"You'll talk to someone?" I asked.

"I will,"

"I love you Ava Sallow."

"I love you Sebastian Sallow."

_______

Present day
Sara's pov

All of us stood at the edge of Hogsmead in disbelief as we looked at Hogwarts. A good portion of it was in flames.

Ava held her hands to her mouth and gasped before aparating towards the school.

"Ava!" Her husband called. "Damnit. You guys stay here!" He demanded before he aparated as well.

We all looked at Marc who stood with his arms on his hips. When he noticed he shrugged, "obviously we are following."