The Decuplets

Goodbye Ella, Hello Heartbreak!

Ella

It was the day of the big ski trip and I was starting to feel a whole mix of emotions.

I was especially feeling sad—the first ski trip, just under a year ago, was where I had my first kiss with Zach. I would do anything to go back to that moment.

What a mess we've made since!

I wonder if this even crosses Zach's mind as we get ready to hit the road, because I know I can't stop thinking about it.

Part of me believed that maybe this was our opportunity to make things right, but I knew that it was his decision and not mine.

"Ella, you good?" Scarlett asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"So good!" I lied.

"Excited?" she asked.

"Very."

We all loaded our suitcases into our cars, and then we were off.

The group was rather different than last year. This year, the brothers in relationships brought their girlfriends, which meant Charlie, Rachelle, Maddie, and surprisingly Jules were all coming along. Some of the brothers' friends came, namely Finn, Ollie, Dion, Levi, Spencer, and, as Scarlett promised, Luke was in attendance.

"Quite the group," I noted as Scarlett and I slid into the backseat of the car.

"At least Ava isn't here," Scarlett replied, shuddering.

I laughed. "Thank God."

After a long but scenic drive, we arrived at the resort. We checked in and were shown to our cabins. It was already pretty late in the afternoon.

Considering Scar's wipeout last year, we decided not to hit the slopes.

"Hot tub?" Scarlett asked knowingly.

"Hot tub," I answered with a wide grin.

After spending way more time in the hot tub than anyone is supposed to, we changed and met up with everyone at the main cabin for the dinner buffet.

"How was your relaxing day at the hot tub?" Gabe asked.

"It was lovely," Scarlett replied, "how was skiing?"

"So fun, except Charlie completely wiped out, like you did last year. Yeah, Corey flipped his shit," Gabe laughed, remembering.

"Yikes," I said.

Luke came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. "I missed you out there, El. Will you join me tomorrow?"

"Oh, I don't know—"

"Yes, she will!" Scarlett interjected.

"Perfect," Luke said, flashing a smile and walking back to the brothers. Sure, he was cute, but in my eyes he was no Zach.

Zach

Gabe pulled me aside during dinner and said, "I think there's something between Luke and Ella. I'm not sure, but I just wanted to give you a heads up."

My heart dropped, but I knew I had no right to feel that way. I nodded, saying, "Thanks for letting me know." I went back to my dinner, but my mind would not stop ruminating on it.

It was me holding us back, it was my fault that we weren't together. I took my sweet time trying to forgive her; for months and months I had her waiting around for me.

Truth is, the day in the pool, the walk in the rain, and every recent moment we've shared, big or small, has culminated in a realization: I still love her. And now I risked losing that because I took too long.