Courage Comes From Lies

Chapter 41: Devin

| Early in the morning in the guest bedroom of Heidi's house, 2:14 am |

I couldn't sleep that night. "Tara.." was the only thing repeating in my head. I finally got to hear her voice again so why don't I feel relief? She hasn't been hurt. She's in one piece. In fact she sounded... confident when I spoke to her. Like she'd figured everything out in the time span of almost two weeks. So why do I feel so much dread and anxiety? Ah.. I see now. It's because she's in the clutches of the monster that is my mother. Queen Carla Maestra Yolaris. The only person I've ever hated down past my heart to my soul. She stole everything from me. And now she has the only person I've ever wanted.
As I lied in bed thinking to myself, I suddenly heard-
"Princess?"
I sat up and looked at the doorway to see Leo standing there looking at me a bit concerned. "Come in Leo." He walked in and sat beside me in bed.
"Are you okay? You don't look to have gotten any sleep." He asked me with care in his voice and it reminded me so much of her.
I sighed softly and just fell back laying my arm over my face. "No.." I answered. "I don't think I am okay."
"What's the matter, if I may ask?"
"You let me speak to her.. I thought I would be happy hearing her voice again. I thought I'd be relieved knowing she's okay. But all I can feel is fear, anxiety, dread and paranoia."
He tilted his head looking at me confused. "Can I... ask why you're feeling all of that from speaking to her?"
"It's because she's trapped with that beast. She doesn't know how sly and deceitful my mother is. She's never been close to understanding that other than when she lost everything to the Queen's forces."
Leo nodded as he listened. "Do you think her plan will not be successful?"
"I think her plan is absolutely ludicrous!" I bursted out shooting back up. "There's absolutely no way a Kämpfen Ring match is going to give her the opportunity she needs to take her down!" I felt myself tearing up and my voice breaking as I shouted my thoughts. "How does she think that's a good idea?! She's going to get herself killed! She's not going to survive and I'm going to lose her forever!"
Leo merely sat there and listened to me rage. After I was done, I simply broke down and started sobbing into my hands.
"I can't lose her Leo... I just can't... She gives me a type of love I never thought I'd get to experience in my life. She's so sporadic and devoted. I've never felt this way about anyone before... And I don't think I will again if I lose her..." I continued sobbing before I felt him pull me into a tight hug and hold me against him. I sniffled and just sobbed harder, now keeping my face buried against his shoulder.
"I understand your fear Princess. When I heard her plan at first, I thought the same. That she was absolutely insane. She's the first friend I've had in almost a decade. I wouldn't want to lose her to the same woman I lost my entire world to as well." He gently stroked my hair as he spoke softly to me, letting me cry against him. "But Tara seems to know what to do. She seems confident. She told me where her courage is coming from. It's something her mother used to tell her as a child that I think is truly inspiring. 'Never let your fear-"
" -'Cloud your judgement and gut feeling.' " I finished between sniffles. "She told me.. I didn't think it would lead to her coming up with such a dangerous plan..."
"Well. She seems like the type to put her mind to anything she wants to happen. I could tell from the first time I met her."
"How?" I looked at him.
He smiled shaking his head, as if remembering it, before replying to me. "I made a remark about her parents when we first met. And she spat in my face promising my head would be the first she'd take once she got out if I ever mentioned them again. The fury and determination in her eyes when she said this to me told me everything I needed to know about how strong her will is."
I was about to say something back when we heard a knock at the door. We both turned to see Heidi and her wife Catalina standing in the doorway looking at us.
"Hey you two," Heidi said. "Is everything okay? Some yelling woke us up and we decided to come check on you."
Catalina looked at me and immediately walked over kneeling beside the bed and cupping my cheeks. "Pobre niña. Have you been crying, sweetheart?"
I looked at her and sniffled moving away from Leo and rubbing my eye.
"I-I'm okay. I'm sorry for waking you up."
"Nonsense." She looked at Heidi and said, "¿Puedes ir a buscarme una botella de agua y unas toallas de papel, cariño?" Heidi nodded and walked away before Catalina looked back at me.
I looked at Leo confused.
"She asked Mom to get her a bottle of water and paper towels for you."
I looked back at Catalina to find her looking at me worried.
"Why were you crying, amor?"
I glanced away but decided to be honest. "Leo let me speak to Tara earlier tonight. And I thought that after hearing her voice again, I'd be happy. Because I'd know she was okay and not hurt. But I feel nothing but negativity because she's trapped with my mother..." I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them resting my cheek on my kneecap. "I can't stand knowing that at any moment, Tara could be going through with her crazy plan and getting herself killed and I'm not there to protect her."
At that moment, Heidi came back with Catalina's request and handed them to her. I watched as Catalina wet a paper towel then tilt my chin up starting to gently wipe around my eyes and cheeks. It felt strange to be taken care of but I accepted her help silently. Then she started speaking to me.
"I knew someone like that in my childhood. There were moments where I felt like if I wasn't there for her, I wouldn't be able to protect her from the dangers that she either attracted, found or came up with. But soon I learned that it was usually her protecting us both. I learned that she was more than capable of protecting herself because she was smart about things. She believed in herself. She knew she could do anything she set her mind to. Wanna know what her name was?" She asked as she finished and gently blew on my face to dry it. I wrinkled my nose a bit then nodded.
She smiled and looked at Heidi. "Heidi Larstein. The love of my life." I looked up at Heidi who was leaned against the doorframe just watching with her arms crossed and a smile.
"What's your point, if I can ask without sounding rude?" I asked looking back at Catalina.
"My point is if Tara believes that she can survive under your mother's clutches, maybe you should think about giving her your belief as well. It might help her more than you think."
"I see... You really think believing in her is all it takes to defeat that tyrant?"
Catalina smiled as she stood up. "It's all you can do until you're with her again sweetheart. Now. You and Leo stay here. Leo, asegúrate de que esté bien mientras tu madre y yo les preparamos algunos brownies."
"Sí, mamá." Leo replied to her before both women left us alone again.
"I understood the last word. Is she making us brownies?"
"Yep. If you'd like I can teach you Spanish. I learned from when I was eleven."
"That.. would be nice to learn another language while I'm healing. Thanks Leo."
He smiled. "Of course. Hold on. I have an English to Spanish dictionary in my bedroom. I'll go get it." He then stood and walked out leaving me there. I sighed watching him then lied back.
"Tara.. even if I think you're mental, I'll do my best to believe in you. Because I want nothing more than to get back to you."