Say You Hate Me

drunken distractions

I fucked up that day in the canteen and destroyed elsie. Her mood was completely dampened all week, until yesterday when she was back and bright as ever. She was the type of sunshine that could warm every person she encounters - yet at the same time, the type that could blind you.

I couldn't work out what game she was playing, it was like she was always one step ahead.

It made my blood boil (along with basically every other aspect of her sunshine).

The way the bathroom smelt of her vanilla body wash after she showered, the way she left makeup shit scattered across our room, those fucking tiny shorts she wore to bed.

My jaw clenched and I balled my hand into a fist at the thought.

I've always been good at chess and reading people but she was basically a blank page.

Thoughts about her and that fucking attitude plagued my mind constantly. I despised it. But deep down, a part of me was curious too.

Maybe she did have more to her than meets the eye?

Antidepressants. Prescription medicines to treat depression.

She had depression. It sounded so foreign to her bright manner. Depression was a painful black and white suffocation.

I was naive and thought her biggest problem was not buying the latest Dior bullshit and how much cash daddy would give her but I was wrong.

And being wrong had a storm of emotions swirling through my brain, anger, frustration, confusion. I also hate not knowing. I also hate having a certain 5,3 blonde nightmare infecting my every thought.

...

Aaron had invited me to a party. I abhorred parties with every fibre of my being - the cheap booze, the sweaty stench, the clingy, underdressed women. Yet I needed a distraction from my roommate and this seemed promising.

The party was off campus but only a five minute motor cycle ride . As I suspected, sweaty bodies were grinding against eachother aggressively.

My ear drums pulsed with the deafening beat of the trashy music, cheap booze was littered around the bustling kitchen and strobe lights lit up every square inch of the room. I reach for a drink, hesitating as I see how grimy it all looks. It's probably drugged as well, knowing the assholes who go to those parties. I guess I was staying sober for the night.

Aaron was dancing lazily beside a decent looking girl who was kissing sloppily against his neck. Ryder was sat on a couch beside some basketball friends of his. Nick was nowhere to be seen surprisingly. Usually me and him stuck together and talked shit about all the drunk shits here.

"Wooo!" a soft feminine voice squealed.

I could recognise that annoying voice anywhere.

I turned around, I shoved the girl who was clutching my bicep harshly and she stumbled away.

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath, storming into the crowd.

Did nobody know what personal space was nowadays?

I looked through the crowd, searching for her.

I spot her, dancing with those friends of hers. Her hips swaying to the rhythm, her dress riding up her thigh leaving little to the imagination.

Instantly, my mood dampened and I didn't hesitate before thundering towards her.

"Why are you here?" I grab her small shoulders and spun her around to face me, pressing her body flush against mine.