Say You Hate Me

grumpy

"Shut up, you're cheer captain!? Have they met you? You can barely move for more than five seconds before running out of breath - and I say that nicely," Nila bursts out laughing on call, her cackle echoing through my AirPods.

To be honest, even I don't know how I got cheer captain. They said it was because I had 'confidence', they avoided the subject of my actual skill though.

"Welll, it's true. The first performance was at yesterdays match and it was so fucking good." I grin cheekily at the camera as Nila raises an eyebrow.

"When I'm finally allowed out of Spain, I'm going to- ah, ¡no tía - me voy a la cama en un segundo, estoy de guardia ahora mismo!" she interrupts her sentence as her aunts shrill accent fills my eardrums.

(No auntie, I'm going to bed in a second, I'm on call right now,)

"¡Tía, vete a dormir, nos vemos mañana! Anyways, I'm back. But as soon as graduation comes, I'm coming over to you and watching your cheerleading!" She giggles and I smile.

(Auntie, go to sleep, see you tomorrow!)

"Alright well, mi tía is jabbering on about sleeping - call you again soon?" she gives the camera a lopsided grin and I return it.

"of fucking course! I'll let you know how the ball goes tonight as well!" I wave at the camera one last time before hanging up and plopping my phone on my bedside table.

My phone dings again and I turn to look at it, shifting out of my comfortable slouched position in bed, I was wrapped up tightly like a burrito because I was fucking freezing.

Unknown: hey stranger, good luck with the mafia ball tonight. Sounds like you'll have buckets of fun with that boy of yours. I always knew you were a slut.

Unknown: like mother like daughter, huh?

Unknown: it's probably been awhile since anyone's brought up your late mother to you, but never say never. Especially when I know lots about her death.

The anger that jolted through my body was gut wrenching. It was frantic and ferocious and controlled every inch of my body. Years of putting up with my dad's and Mabel's bullshit  burned into an uncontrollable tornado. Raw and ugly, it claimed my skin with scalding flames.

i type fast and aggressively, slamming my fingertips across the screen spelling out

Elsie: keep my mother's name out of your filthy mouth and get a life.

and pressing send.

I remember my mum as being a sunflower in a field of yellowing, decaying grass. The ghost of her warm touch as she picked me up and spun me around the room still lingers on my skin. She was beautiful, many of my parents old friend's said I got my looks from her. Sleek, pale skin and catlike sage eyes with specks of gold and a passionate fire that danced through them.

I remember my mum as pressing firm kisses to my forehead, staining my soft skin with her vibrant pink lipstick whenever I had a bad day at school. I remember her as coming home from work, her face flushed from the cold and her arms wrapped around each other but I'd greet her with a bear hug and a fluffy blanket.

She died when I was 8.

I still remember my dad getting the phone call while we were watching a film, the way my dad fell to his knees and screams ripped through his lungs. The way the light drained from his eyes in the following years and his smile faded into a constant grimace.

I lost two parents that day.

...

"okay, so you look fucking gorgeous," Lucas gasped, his eyes scanning every inch of my body. I felt that unforgettable surge of electricity through my veins as I mentally prepared myself for tonight. If all went to shit, at least there would be cocktails.