Say You Hate Me

when I was 5

When I was 5, the idea of marriage disgusted me. I'd gag whenever my mum and dad kissed and scold them for the the yucky action.

When I was 7, I hated boys. They were the enemy on the playground - with their teases and silly comments. My posse of friends and I were better than them. We'd shove our tongues out at them whenever we walked past.

When I was 8, my friends shipped me and another boy. I was appalled and swore I'd never ever in a million years like a boy. I'd frown at their words and shake my head so fast, i'd get whiplash.

When I was 9, I had my first crush. He was tall and scrawny and his name was Ben. I'd blush whenever he uttered a word to me. My friends would giggle at my reaction and tease me profusely.

When I was 11, I had my first boyfriend. James Tucker. We broke up two weeks later after he held hands with another girl on the playground. I was devastated and swore I'd never date another man.

When I was 12, I despised the concept of marriage. Dad had just remarried to the cruel witch who haunted the halls of my home. I couldn't comprehend how anyone could live like that.

When I was 13, I craved boy's attention. I'd wear my hair down and apply a thin layer of lipgloss to school. I'd roll my skirt up until my thighs shone in the pale sunlight. The lack of love from my dad was finally effecting me. I'd smother concealer that was too orange for me over the bruises from Mabel and I'd blow kisses at boys in older years.

Now I was 17 nearing 18 and married. I've kissed a number of boys and slept with some too. I was still legally a child yet every aspect of me felt alien to that term.

Oh, how times have changed.

What happened to when the concept of love was just a distant figure for my future? What happened to love being Prince Charming and I? What happened to the simplicity of childhood?

My thoughts wonder around aimlessly, my eyes absently staring at the floor.

"penny for your thoughts?" Grayson's mother, bianca, asked softly. Her words interrupting the storm of thoughts that was brewing in my brain.

A lazy smile tugs at my lips as I turn to face her.

"Just picturing Gray and I's honeymoon," a harsh voice crack slices through my words.

"Ah yes! You must be so excited!" She beamed, taking a long sip of her drink.

I nod weakly in response. She opens her mouth to respond again until her attention is stolen when another guest ushers her over. She taps me lightly on the back before strolling towards the person.

...

A few drinks from the lavish bar morphed into one too many. By now, my vision was hazy and the harsh reality was softened.

God, I love alcohol.

Grayson was staring again. His gaze piercing my skin like a thousand goosebumps. I cocked my head at him, my expression quizzical but he doesn't react. His face remains the same, no trace of comprehending my actions. His toned face shone under the brilliant lights in all its glory, honey eyes fixated on me. One of his business partners was chattering beside him but he payed no notice.

This man and his staring problems.

His eyes continue their assault on my distant figure as I stare at the coloured liquid sloshing inside my glass. I held my wine glass loosely in my hand, swinging it lightly in rhythm with the music.

Violets stark appearance flooded my dreamy gaze as she approached; her footsteps like thunder in her stilettos. I cock a brow at her figure, cladded in piles of silver jewellery and wearing a white dress that pooled around her ankles and her cleavage practically poured out of.