Say You Hate Me

your guy

My brain was spinning. My feet had just about managed to stumble out of the room and as far away from him as possible. A furious groan slipped through his lips and another desolate crash sounded as his fist collided with the wall.

I found myself in the bathroom at the other end of the hallway in a matter of seconds. The four bleak walls stood in front of me as I slammed the door closed.

I was suffocating, wasn't I? That's what the constricting feeling that was choking my lungs was. The walls seemed to loom closer and closer and I gulped harshly, swallowing the bile that climbed my throat.

My vision was blurred with black spots as I staggered towards the sink. Every step felt harder and heavier beneath the weight of my emotions. I gripped the sink as soon as it was within my reach, my hold like iron as if it was the only thing keeping me standing upwards. The last scraps of my sanity were floundering.

As I gawked at my splotchy reflection in the mirror, I could just about recognise the girl who stood in front of me. With gallons of tears spilling down her cheeks and her eyes puffy and red rimmed, I had seen this girl before. I had seen her during all of those nights that my father ignored me. I had seen her and I had been her.

The stabbing pain of a thousand pricks to my heart drags my body to the floor. I land with a soft thud and the unwanted tears begin to stream down my cheeks.

I hate him for doing this to me.

Every silky word that fell from his lips like rose petals was tainted with lies. Every kiss. Every touch.

A croaky sob sounded in my throat and my watery eyes burned with betrayal and hurt.

After a moment of curling up on the cold tiles, my arms wound around myself so tightly that it was as if I was attempting to hold myself together, I noticed a still figure in the corner of the room.

I was so engrossed in my misery that I hadn't noticed Lia enter.

"Elsie?" Her voice was cautious as she peered at me.

"Lia, I'm a-alright. You can go-" emotion clogged my throat and I sighed at the blatantly obvious teary voice.

Her ocean eyes were wide. A canvas of aqua hues splashed across her iris. It was like I was getting a glimpse of everything calm and serene in the midst of a storm. They were so gentle.

"Oh Elsie," she murmured, her voice so inexplicably tender .

I didn't want to look at her anymore. The way she observed my crumpled figure with a look of such sympathy. The way her forehead was dented with worry lines and her lips were parted with shallow breaths.

"I'm fine honestly," I mutter, scrambling to my feet. I smooth out to my top and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

She doesn't respond. She simply stares at me. Those watercolour eyes boring into mine.

"Lia, I - I'm-" my voice catches in my throat and my words fades on tongue.

She just nods sombrely, as if that measly response told her everything she needed to know. In less than a second, she's beside me with her arms snaked around my body and I'm delving into her hold.

She's warm and smells like a lavish perfume. A tinge of sweet and floral mingled with a spritz of rich vanilla.

I hesitate for a second, my defence mechanism of disguising my pain faltering before disappearing completely.

I explode.

It was an experience I've never had before.

Years of pent up anger and hurt was unravelling in less than a minute. Feelings I'd pushed aside for half of my life announced themselves as I cried. I shook as Lia held me, running her delicate hands through my hair..