Baby of the team - WSL

part 58

tw panic attack

Afterwards it was time for a late lunch and Nancy and lorry met tally outside her room where she had gone to get changed rather than the changing room. Nancy was watching tally trying to ascertain how the girl was feeling about the whole foster care thing and the massive argument with Leah and oh yeah the group of people knowing one of her most private secrets thing. tally and lorry were talking as they walked down when nancy got a message from her daughter and she awed. tally looked at her curiously. Nancy smiled and chuckled at her knowing she was the same way and showed her the cute picture of her 8 year old daughter she had been sent by her friend patsy, who was kind of like her older sister really. tally thought the picture of the young girl all tucked up asleep in bed with the stuffed polar bear was adorable.

It made tally miss her siblings just a little bit more and she looked down uncertainty as they walked to lunch. They walked in and tally made eye contact with leah who looked upset but quickly broke it and looked away. She walked with lorry and nancy over to the food station and looked at the options unsure of what she could stomach. She was way too stressed to eat.

She was handed a peanut butter and jam sandwich and a little veggie pot and a juice and she took it gratefully smiling at Nancy who had seen the girls worry in picking what to have for lunch. She knew the way people with eating disorders thought, she had been there before she understood how hard it was but she also was very aware of how it could literally end her life. tally just kind of stood there for a moment seeming like a shell of the girl she had been this morning. lorry put her arm around the girl and guided her to an empty table hoping not having an audience would help her. tally smiled at lorry appreciatively. tally sat down and began to stare in space picking at her food and squeezing the sandwich making it as thin as possible rather than actually eating. Nancy looked at her worried.

she knew how stressful the care system was but she needed to get tally to eat, she had too she hadn't been vigilant enough, the girl had lost weight since she joined Arsenal and she shouldn't have been she should of gained, she had been eating supposedly and she was meant to have been building muscle but the kid was still stick thin even though she spent hours and hours in the gym. Nancy gently touched the girl's hand making her flinch and she saw the brief fear in her eyes. "darling you need to eat your lunch you need the fuel!" she said softly hoping putting it that way would entice her to eat more. it didn't. "don't touch me!" she said angrily loud enough for people to turn their heads to look at what was going on. "woah kid calm down breath tally breath you need to regulate your emotions!" lorry said trying to calm the girl down. did it work, no. tally turned her head to look at lorry. "fuck off neither of you know fuck all about me!" she said angrily proceeding to get up annoyed causing her to accidentally knock over a glass which fell to the floor smashing. tally's head whipped around to look at the mess, the fear began to consume her. "just leave me alone!" she said more afraid than anything, both women saw an obvious change in her demeanor. They saw the fear in her eyes the way her hands began to shake, the way her head moved so quickly to survey the damage and then right back to the 2 women as if she was afraid they would hurt her for smashing a glass by accident.

The smash had triggered something. tally quickly made her exit feeling everyone's eyes on her. her breathing sped up and her hands began to shake her eyes moved from lorry to nancy and back. she couldn't bear wait to get shouted at she needed to be out of there. She couldn't deal with it, she hadnt meant to break it, it had been an accident. she pushed her chair back and she ran out of the room. she got as far as the lounge room and went in. she went over to the corner and slid down putting her head in her shaking head trying to regulate her breathing. She dug her nails into her head trying to find a little bit of relief as she felt the panic attack hit her. she moved a hand to her chest as she felt her lungs and throat begin to burn she felt tears begin to slide down her face.