After Midnight

Chapter 52- Star

I open the glass doors to the mall and walk inside. The warmth makes me feel better as I walk around, stopping in every store that catches my eye. I get to the coffee shop in the food court and order a large coffee. I take a seat and begin to think. I know I messed up when I let him into my life. I went and told my best friend that I wanted him. The bad boy with a bad reputation was open to showing everyone he loved me, and only me. I told Laura that he was the one, and now I'm wondering if that was a mistake. I should have listened to my gut feeling that something was off about him. But there was also a part of him that pulled me close. A part that made me love him.

"Hey, girl." I hear, and I turn to see Britney and Ashley. "Hey!" I smile.

"Can we join you?"

"Of course," I say. We sit and talk for a bit, and it feels good. They finally ask, "Is it true that you and Gage broke up?"

I nod, "Yes, we did. It was a difficult decision, but ultimately the best one for both of us." They both look at me, and Britney says, "No, it's not. You look hurt and miserable, and all I've heard from Keenan is how upset and heartbroken Gage is."

I take a deep breath and try to compose myself before responding, "I appreciate your concern, but I stand by my decision. Gage and I are over, for good." I look at my phone and realise I've been here for a few hours. I tell the girls goodbye, grab my shopping bags, and walk out of the mall, heading toward the auto shop.

The cold air hits my face as I walk, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to get Gage out of my head. Today I wanted a day where I didn't see, hear, or think of him. But I saw him, and people kept bringing him up. The ordeal makes my heart shatter even more.

I finally get to the mechanic shop, and as I walk in, the lady at the desk smiles and hands me my keys, telling me it's all ready and in the parking lot. I pull out my card and pay, and she tells me it's already been paid for. "By who?" I question her. She smiles and says, "That cute young man that was here with the truck." I nod and tell her to have a great day. I head to my car and start the engine. The snow begins to fall as I drive, I turn on the radio and tune into my favourite station, hoping to hear some good music to accompany me on my drive. The roads are slippery, but I take it slow and steady, enjoying the peacefulness of the snowfall. I head to the bank and take out the money for the tires. I put it in one of those little white envelopes and put it in my purse.

☾

I pull into my driveway as the snowfall becomes heavier. I jump out and head to Gage's place. I walk inside to see him sitting on the couch. I throw the envelope at him. "You and I are over. That means you need to stop with the gestures." I turn around and head back to my car, grab my bags, and run inside. I shiver as I walk into the warmth. I look over to see Laura and Ace sitting on our couch. I raise my eyebrow, and Laura says, "Break up shopping?"

I roll my eyes, and I begin to walk away. As I get to my bedroom door, Ace grabs my arms. "Star, he misses you."

"Then he knows what he has to do; all he has to do is tell me is the truth." I respond.

"It's not as simple as you think; trust me on that." He grabs my shoulders and says, "Trust me, he wants to explain but he can't."

"Then you explain." He lets go and backs away. "I can't."

I stare at him, confused and frustrated. "Can't or won't?" I ask, hoping for a clear answer. He looks away, avoiding my gaze. I feel my patience wearing thin as he continues to evade the question. It's like pulling teeth trying to get a straight answer out of him or Gage. "That's what I thought. My decision is final. I'm done with him—and with you, for that matter. We are supposed to be friends; hell, you're dating my best friend, and let me guess she knows what the hell is going on."

He averts his gaze, and I drop my bags. I head back into the living room and look at Laura. "You know what's going on?"

"Star, please. I–"

I cut her off and ask, "Why?" The pain of betrayal from my best friend begins to hit me. "You know how much I've been hurting, and you fucking knew!" I shout. Tears start to roll down my cheeks as I try to comprehend why my best friend would do this to me. The trust I had in her has been shattered into a million pieces. "You know what he is hiding, and you can't even tell me. What a great fucking friend you are."

"Star." She says trying to calm down.

"Don't," I warn her as she tries to stand up and walk closer to me. She puts her hands up. She stays silent as my rage grows, but then she finally speaks. "I'll stay with Ace for a while until you calm down." She heads to the door with Ace.

"Yeah, you do that." I lock the door, head to my room, and slam the door. I have no tears left; all that fuels me is anger. Anger from all the hurt and lies that everyone around me seems to be doing. All from the ones I thought I could trust. I feel betrayed and alone, but I know that I can't let this consume me. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am strong enough to overcome this. I decide to distance myself from those who have caused me pain and focus on healing. It won't be easy, but I am determined to come out of this experience with a stronger sense of self-worth.

I grab an oversized t-shirt and slip it on. I sit by the window and read a book. Tears begin to stream down my face as I sit there. Music from the guy's house catches my attention, and I see a whole slew of cars and people coming up to their place. I decide to play my own music and let myself get lost in the lyrics.

I wrap a warm blanket around me and continue reading as the music plays from my Bluetooth speaker. Music helps to drown out my thoughts and feelings, giving me a short break from the real world. As I read, I feel myself slowly calming down, and the tears eventually stop flowing.

Until I look out the window, Gage stands on his back deck with a drink in hand, looking up at the sky. As if my playlist could read my emotions, "How does a moment last forever?" by Celine Dion comes on.

He looks over at my window, and we just look at each other. My heart starts to race; all I want is to run to him, not run from him. A girl walks out and wraps her arms around his torso. I close my eyes, trying to hold back my tears. The song continues to play, and anger fuels me. I take the speaker and throw it against the wall. I know that it's not the speaker's fault, but I can't help but feel like it's mocking me.

I turn off my lights and get into bed; crying seems to be the only way I can fall asleep. As I lay in bed, I can't help but wonder if things would ever get better or if I was destined to feel this way forever.