Unconditionally (BOOK 3)

Smoke

"Where do you wanna go?" I can't recall a time Felix had ever driven so safe.

"I don't know." I barely spoke above a whisper.

"Are you hungry at all?"

"No."

I thought we were aimlessly driving until he pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store. Felix got out of the car and walked to the passenger side to open the door for me.

This wasn't cute, innocent Felix. He was still the guy that pushed San to the ground to get off me. He kept a protective grip on my waist and continued to sport the angry look he's had on his face since we left the apartment.

"Get what you need." He pointed to the wall of cigarettes behind the counter. "My treat."

I immediately felt terrible that he was offering to buy me cigarettes, but I'm sure he knew how badly I needed to smoke.

"Marlboro Red 100's." I mumbled. Felix rubbed my back reassuringly to make sure I knew it was okay, but this was somehow making me feel worse even though I knew it would help me in the end.

"Hey, can I get a pack of Marlboro Red 100's?" Felix asked the guy behind the counter for me.

"Can I see your ID?"

"Do I seriously not look old enough?" He scoffed and reached in for his wallet.

"They're for me." I said and tossed mine on the counter. He didn't even need to take a second look at it. Probably because it's pretty obvious I'm of age. Great.

Felix paid for my cigarettes and gave me the pack on the way out.

"Just don't smoke in my car." He said.

He seemed to have a place in mind because he started the car and drove off the second we both got in. He kept a hand on my thigh and rubbed his thumb soothingly, unwilling to break contact.

Some time had passed and I recognized where we were. Han River. We've shared a few memories here; some good, some bad.

We found a spot away from people so I could smoke. I was getting frustrated by my shaky hands, I couldn't even turn the lighter on.

"For fuck's sake." I muttered with the cigarette resting between my teeth.

"Here." Felix took it from my hand and flicked it on with ease.

"Thanks." I awkwardly said, annoyed that I couldn't do it myself. I haven't smoked in months so this was a comforting feeling. "Did you know they were going to do that?" I needed to know the truth. My paranoia was eating me alive.

"No." He shook his head. "I told them about a week ago that I had a gut feeling something was up and Wooyoung said he felt it too. But we didn't say anything else after that. The door was locked so that was their moment." Felix dropped his head in his hands. "Fuck, I'm the one that locked the door."

He immediately started to beat himself up and take the blame. I refuse to let him believe this was his fault in any way.

"The second you locked the door, I felt like I could trust you. If I didn't tell you, I would've been more fucked than I already am."

"Thank god you told me." He lifted his head and took a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank you."

"For?"

"If I didn't tell you, that would've went a lot differently."

"Hyunjin, I told you that you can trust me. We're in this together no matter what." He lightly scratched my back and watched as I inhaled deeply before exhaling through my nostrils. I forgot how bad it stings when your nose is a little sensitive. "Do you want me to explain the situation to them?"