Unconditionally (BOOK 3)

Wish You Were Here

Wooyoung's POV:

I wasn't sure what to expect when we got to the cemetery to see my dad and my brother. There have been times where I had no issues thinking about it. I accepted the fact that I lost two people I loved at a young age. But there have also been times where the memory was pure agony.

"You okay?" San whispered and took my hand.

"Yeah." I tried to sound convincing, but how could anyone be okay during something like this? "Do you guys mind if I have a few minutes alone? You can just wait in the car, I'll text you."

"Of course." Hyunjin nodded.

Thankfully, I remembered where they were buried. The closer I got, the more I started shivering from the cold weather. Of course today had to be unbearable, but I wasn't going to let that stop me.

"Shit." Tears immediately started to well in my eyes once I found them. Vivid memories swarmed through my mind like they were lived yesterday. "Hey." I sniffled. "I miss you, dad." I stood in front of his grave first, reading the epitaph written on the stone. "I miss you a lot. I'm not mad at you, I always wanted to tell you that. You were hurting, we all were. But I wish I didn't have to lose you too. I stepped up the best I could. I took care of mom and Kyungmin like you would've wanted. I've really sucked at it though; I even got them arrested. Little Kyungmin has gotten so big, he's in middle school now. He's got so many friends, it makes me so happy. You know how bad I used to struggle back then in middle school. Remember that one time that kid threw his lunch in my face in the cafeteria? And how it hit Hyunjin so his parents got the him expelled? He's still my best friend after all this time. I almost lost him too. I don't want to lose anyone else, I hate it. I just know I wouldn't of gone through half the shit I've been through if you were still here. But I'm trying really hard to keep it together. I don't want to let you down. I'm sorry if you're not proud of me. But I love you." I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed that.

I moved over a couple inches to stand in front of my brother and I felt all hell break loose inside me.

"Fuck you," was shockingly the first thing I said. "You're supposed to be here. We were supposed to finish watching Harry Potter together. You never got to see me graduate middle school, high school, nothing!" I got down on my knees and started to sob. Every emotion I've ever had trapped inside of me was pouring out and it couldn't be stopped. "I got married and you weren't there. We even danced to one of your favorite songs. You would've loved him too. Remember how you said you'd beat up anyone that messed with me? Well, he does. He takes care of me. He loves me so much, I didn't even know I would mean that much to someone one day. I just felt like a shell of a human being when you died. I didn't see the point of living if I didn't have you. But I knew I needed to take care of mom and Min. I've lived my entire life trying to live for you. I question all the time if it's really worth it. Not because of you, but because everything is falling apart around me. It has for so long and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I was a model, I got married, why do I still feel like this? You probably would've been able to help me. You always knew what to say. Now the closest thing I have to you is Jungkook, can you believe that? We do this thing and ask each other, what would Jimin think? He misses you too. If only you didn't go out that night. I begged you. You would've been able to see him, we could've all hung out together. I've had fantasies about you, me, Jungkook, and Hyunjin all getting together to just talk. Us and our best friends. That's all I wish I could do. Is just talk to you. I can barely even remember what your voice sounds like and that's so scary. Why can't you just come back? Why did you have to die on me? I needed you! I need you." I couldn't speak anymore. There was a lump in my throat from shouting and crying.

"Wooyoung." I snapped my head up, thinking I was losing my mind. "Wooyoungie, it's me." I felt strong arms wrap around my waist as I was pulled into my husband's lap. "I'm right here." I just continued to cry as he held me close, still sitting in front of Jimin's grave.

"He should be here." I cried out. "I wanna be with my brother."

"I know, baby, I know." He held me tighter, pressing a long kiss to the side of my head.

"Where's Hyunjin?" I looked around and found him behind us shivering uncontrollably. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him as he did the same. "I'm sorry." He stayed quiet, unsure of why I was apologizing. "When Jimin died, I remember you told me I was like a brother to you and all I fucking said was 'oh' like an asshole. You're my brother. You filled that hole in my life the best you could. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Hyunjin squeezed me tight, rocking us back and forth. "I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you. Everything is gonna be okay, Woo. I promise."