Unconditionally (BOOK 3)

Honesty

Wooyoung's POV:

"Choi San, look me dead in the eyes right now and be honest with me, because there is a correct answer and I will know if you're lying."

"I'm nervous."

I was pacing around our room as he watched me from the bed. I haven't felt this uptight and angry in weeks.

"Do I look like I gained weight?"

Yes, I gained about 10lbs and yes, it's very obvious.

"You look healthier."

Of course this motherfucker knows how to avoid the question and find a damn way to compliment me instead. It's the classic Choi San bullshit.

"That's not what I'm asking."

"Wooyoung, I don't know what you want to hear so just help me out because I don't like this question."

"Well, you better answer it."

"Babe, you look perfect no matter what, I don't know what else you want me to say."

"Just answer the fucking question!" I shouted, quickly getting upset.

"I'm not answering." He calmly said and shook his head.

"Sannie, please. I need to know." The fearful tone in my voice caught his attention.

"Come here." I sat on the bed next to him, but he led us to our bathroom to stand in front of the mirror. I didn't even want to look at myself. People assume that just because you're a model, you're comfortable in your own skin and that you love yourself exactly for who you are. But that just so happens to be the biggest load of bullshit. "Wooyoungie." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. "Why don't you want to look at yourself?"

San has done this once before and although it ended well, those times were different. We were in high school then, there was no modeling agency involved.

"I just feel really gross." I confessed, still looking down at the ground.

"But why? I think you look amazing."

"Well of course you're going to." I stressed. "You have to say that."

"I don't. But I really do think you look fantastic. You look healthier, you've been happier. We've been able to go out for dinner again because you're allowing yourself to eat, we can share snacks and play video games together; we couldn't do that for a long time, Wooyoung. If and when you decide to go back, then you can go back to a weight you feel most comfortable. But right now, you should allow yourself to feel free. I think you're beautiful, absolutely stunning." He sighed and turned me around to face him. "Wooyoungie, why are you crying?"

"Because taking a break was a mistake."

"How?"

"They wanted Felix to do a naked photoshoot, and he had a panic attack, then fainted, that's why I went. It was only to calm him down. But then they made such a big stink about it, I just said I'd do it. I didn't think anything of it until the photographer asked how much they edit my photos because he thought I was thinner."

The rage in San's eyes actually began to scare me. But there was nothing he could do about it; what was said, was said. I'm sure if he was there, he would've punched that photographer right in the face.

He lowered my head to his shoulder and rubbed my back underneath my shirt. This was his way of calming himself down because he hasn't said a word. When I tried to lift my head to say something, he lowered it right back down.

"Are you mad?"

"I've never wanted to beat the living shit out of someone so badly in my entire life." He said as calmly as possible.

"Can we go lay down now?"

Without hesitation, he went right back to our bed as I followed. I'm pretty sure that just ruined his night the way it ruined mine.

"There are only two people in this world who have opinions that should matter to you." He pulled the covers up over our noses, only revealing each other's eyes. "Your own and mine. Which is why you better listen to what I'm about to say." I nodded, listening closely. "He's a photographer and you're a model. That ugly sack of shit on his best day can't compare to you on your worst. You're beautiful, beyond out of this world beautiful. From the moment I first saw you, I thought so too. I love your body, I think it's perfect the way it is. Whether you want to lose weight or gain, I'll still love it. What you look like doesn't matter to me because you're you. You're just...perfect. But if you still really don't feel good about yourself, let me help you get there. I want you to feel comfortable, that's what matters most." From underneath the covers, he reached over and wiped away my subtle tears. "Always crying nowadays, what am I gonna do with you?" He teased, pulling me close to him.

"Love me."

"Always will. And for the record, I prefer you with more weight."

"Shut up." I mumbled, putting the blanket over my head.

"It's true. Cuddling is more fun."

"How?" I whined, not liking how he's created a positive out of my weight gain.

"Because you're like a soft pillow." He pulled down the blanket and covered my face in gentle kisses, but it didn't make me feel much better.

"Ten, that's what I need to lose."

"Five."

"Ten."

"Three."

"Fifteen."

"None."

"Four."

"Fine. But I still think you look beautiful."

"I simply cannot believe you because one: you're blinded by love and obsessed with me, and two: you're my fiancé so you have to say that."

"Would you rather that or do you want to be disrespected and degraded?" I gave him a knowing look as if there was a very obvious answer. It's no secret to him that I like to be degraded depending on the circumstances. But that look was also my way of trying to lighten up the mood since I didn't want to be on the subject anymore. "You know what I mean."

"And I'm choosing to move on from it."

"Alright." He sighed but understood. "Just know I love you."

"Of course I know."

"Good. Just know I always think you're beautiful too."

"Yes, Sannie, I know."

"Good, just making sure."

I don't know how he does it, but he always finds a way to make me smile.