Grow Old Without You (A Camren Story)

You're Ashamed of Me

Grow Old Without You (Chapter 3)

CAMILA NOW

Since announcing In Harmony disbanding at the end of the year, we've invited to countless talk shows to talk about it. It was good publicity, since we just had an album out, and our single's climbing the chart. Performing and guesting on talk shows mean constant exposure to the camera, and I was really hesitant to let Lana come with us. I mean it was great to have her, but we're really strict on her being seen on TV or pictures.

Today, I didn't have a choice but to bring her with me at Jimmy Fallon 'cos she got in trouble in school for sassing on her teacher. Her mother's genes running strong in her little 10 year old veins. I just want to. ugh. I have to talk to this kid's grandmother and ask her how she freaking raised a sassy daughter. I swear, I've had enough of her attitude. Well, this happens when a mother is too busy on her job and being able to raise her child right, right? Yeah. My fault too, I know.

"Lana, please, for the love of God, Mary, Jesus and Joseph. Please please put all of your things inside your freaking backpack." I scolded as I stepped on her colored pens, breaking 2 pencils in half. I was limping to the make up chair as it was my turn for glams. We were in the dressing room, getting ready for thtaping tonight.

"But I'm still drawing." She softly said as picked up her broken pencils and looked at it sadly. "No one really appreciates my drawings." She whispered sadly, as I heard it. Mani heard it too, and she went closer to Lana, picking up her broken pencils. She has been feeling a little low these past few days. We've been busy, and she has been with my mom this week, and only saw me once or twice. She might be mad at me, I'm not really sure.

"Hey, don't say that. I love your drawings. Reminds me of my bestfriend okay? So don't tell me no one appreciates it 'cos I do. Understand me, Lan?" Mani said as she looked at Lana straight in the eyes. Lana nodded her head with tears in her eyes. Sometimes she feels under appreciated because of us being busy and being all around the place. She always says she's being misunderstood and under appreciated, but we're always making her feel other wise. I swear I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life, and I have a 10 year old to take care of. I don't even have my shit together.

"Thank you, Auntie Moaney. I love you. I wish you're my mommy." She said hugging Normani. Wow. That just hit me like a mother fucker right now. I looked at them from the vanity mirror, tears falling from my eyes. Clarissa heard it too, so she just rubbed my back and let me calm down for a while. She knows everything. Why Lauren left, why Lana's been acting like this. Clarissa has been with us from the start, and she's been like a mom to us too. Lana calls her Mamunchkin, and she could get Lana to do her homework in just one stare. She's seen us through ups and downs, our bests and our worsts, and she has been one of the reasons why we're still at it, 'cos she reminds us why we're here, and what are dreams were and what are goals are.

"Lan, don't say that, you have a good Mama." Mani said as she kissed Lana's forehead. "Now draw me. Make sure I'm extra sexy and pretty there, or else I'll have to deport you to Cuba." Mani joked as everyone laughed.

"I am not Cuban okay? I'm American." Lana said, scrunching her nose, looking at Mani weirdly.

"Your DNA doesn't say so, Lana Camille Cabello. You are 3/4 Cuban and 1/4 Mexican. Don't shit me, oi! I was there when you we're born!" Dinah said as she was shaking her head. Dinah was there, and so was Ally and Mani. I on the other hand was a panicking mess.

CAMILA THEN, 2017

"It's time! it's time!" I was running around the house calling everyone from their rooms. It was 4 in the morning, 2 hours ago, we just came home from the Grammy's after party, and Lauren's water just broke, waking me up from my sweet sweet sleep.