Grow Old Without You (A Camren Story)

It's On Me

Grow Old Without You (Chapter 6)

AN: TRIGGER WARNING ON VIOLENCE.

CAMILA NOW

"It's my fault" I whispered as kneeled on Lauren and the twins' level.

"Camz, you don't have to--" Hearing my old nickname brings so much good memories that I know I

"I have to." I softly said to Lauren as I looked into her eyes again. I need to say it, even though I know it will hurt my kids, or hurt Lauren. I had to.

"Mama, don't lie to me. Don't lie to us." Lana pleaded, looking at me. Kara did the same, as 3 pairs of my favorite eye color stared at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Mama, please? I just want to know the truth." Kara softly said, finally speaking up.

"I- I ch-" I was stuttering, and Lauren took advantage of it.

"We broke up, and I had to fly out to ease the tension." Lauren said fast, and you can hear every lie in her words.

"Mommy. You're lying." Kara whined as she pushed Lauren's hands away from her. "You're lying to me." She tried to get off of Lauren's lap, but Lauren's arms were around her body. "Why can't you just tell us the truth, please?"

"There were things that happened that made me leave. I had to get out of the US, and I was about to bring you too Lana, but--"

"But you didn't. You just left, not even calling to check up on me." Lana stood up from Lauren's lap as she said it with so much anger.

"It's not that simple, baby." I said as I tried to touch her, but she flinched. "Okay, all that matters is you've met your mommy--"

"It doesn't matter! I just want to know the truth just for once. My life was a freaking lie. You basically acted you didn't want me my whole life, leaving me with Abuela all the time. Yesterday you didn't even acknowledge me, and Aunt Ally acknowleged Trey. You never wanted me. So why did you leave me under her care? Why did you leave me to her. She never wanted me." Lana said screaming at us. She's had enough of what's happening. She wants the truth. And now she will hear it.

"It's my fucking fault. Everything's my fucking fault so don't point a finger at your Mommy because she just did the right thing for everyone of us. She left us because I'm a fucking mess. I'm a selfish human being and only cared about fucking money and fame. I cheated on your mom that's why she left me, her dreams her friends and this fucking country. She left you because of me. Everything is my fucking fault so pin everything on me. It is Camila Cabello's fucking fault. Say it. You hate me. Say it mom, say you hate me for being a selfish mother who doesn't take care of her daughter. Say it Sofi. You hate me. I know you wanted to say it for so long. Say it Dinah. Say I'm a horrible band mate. I'm the reason our dreams our shatterred right? Say it Lauren. Say you hate me 'cos my mind never stopped telling me about all the things I've done in my life. 10 years was not enough for me to hate myself everyday for everything I've done. Tell me you hate me, and you despise me and want me dead. Everyone wants me dead. How about you two? Lana, Kara? After hearing everything, I can see it in both your eyes you hate me now. Say it." I screamed as eveyone's eyes were on me. My heart was beating so fast, and I was catching my breathe. "Just fucking say it Lana. You said it yesterday. Why can't you say it now? Say it to my fucking face! " I screamed at my daughter as her face turned from fear to anger in just seconds.

"I hate you so much. I wish you weren't my mama!" Lana screamed as she pushed everyones hands away from her. She ran to her room as Kara followed her.

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LAUREN NOW

Camila's breaking down infront of me, and I don't know what to do. All I see is a broken 18 year old infront of me, desperate to find answers to all of her problems in the world.