like a volcano | minsung (and a hell lot of other ships) ✓

𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑦-𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡.

The boy only yet had time to put his bag down and breathe heavily, when his mother called him from downstairs. He sighed and complied to her orders, and upon reaching downstairs he met the new family who moved in the neighbourhood. Sure. His mom is very hospitable; she'd surely invite them for a meal and make them feel at home.

He would never understand his extrovert mother. Still, he did not complain and sat down opposite to a small boy who looked younger than him. The family consisted of the parents and their three children. The boy opposite to him nodded in acknowledgment and he nodded back.

It was a hot summer's day, windows were open to tempt at least a breeze inside. Seungmin forgot most of what they talked about that day, he only remembered the boy's foxy features and his braces. His name was Jeongin and he would shortly transfer to Seungmin's school as well.

He was just as nonchalant and tired as Seungmin was, and the two didn't take a lot of time to get used to each other. They walked to school and back home together.

The scene shifted. They were 13, taking turns riding Jeongin's bicycle, riding through bridges at sunset. The scene shifted, and they were 14, getting their braces removed together. The scene shifted, and they were celebrating, having scored marks to transfer in the top school of Seoul, together.

The scene shifted, they were laughing together with Jisung and Felix. The scene shifted. Jeongin was crying, shrieking in pain.. the scene shifted, Seungmin saw stars in the sky. Then the still, hollow darkness. The same old sinking feeling. Falling and falling to no end, no ground..

"I hate you hyung... I hate you. All the times I loved and cared for you, yet you chose to ignore me. You were my priority, I was your option. I don't want to see you ever again, hyung. I wish we never met each other."

The voice was getting louder. There was a strong pain in his abdomen, and a feeling of emptiness spreading in his body. The feeling was cold, merciless, like death. Like an evil fate.

"I wish we never met each other."

There was a mirthless, unforgiving spotlight above. Nothing made sense. The pain was spreading. He knew he had minutes. Only minutes. He didn't know anything but that he had to get to Jeongin somehow. If he died with Jeongin resenting him, he'll never forgive himself.

"I FOUND IT!" a voice yelled. Seungmin was annoyed. Who was shouting right now? Didn't they know that he wanted to die in peace?

"Jeongin.. listen to me.." Seungmin tried to speak.
"What was that? Oh no, the anaesthesia is wearing off! We must be quick, I'm bringing the antidote!" Another voice, female this time, spoke up.
"Have we identified the toxin yet?"
"I sent the samples as soon as the operation started. It's been hours, they must have done something..."

"Very good! Be quick, please... And what are you saying?"
Seungmin figured that the voice was referring to him and he repeated Jeongin's name.

"Jeongin..? Where have I heard that name?" The voice said.
"Wait, it's the patient in the trauma centre that arrived with him, he was discharged a few minutes ago!"
"Fetch him, quickly!"

Seungmin tried to open his eyes, but the spotlight was so bright. (They don't know how my spotlight is so bright... Counting stars byeorui byeorui byeorui)
"Hurt... It hurts.." He groaned. His voice was full of pitiful pain.

"Hyung! Hyung, look, I'm here! I'm right here, hyung..." Seungmin heard a familiar voice.
"Jeongin..? Jeongin... I'm sorry..."  Seungmin writhed in pain. His body was starting to get numb, and things were swaying.

"We removed the bullet but the poison has spread. The surgeon went to get the antidote but we cannot guarantee anything."
"NO! HE'S GOING TO BE OKAY, WON'T YOU SEUNGMIN?" Jeongin cried, tears staining his cheeks. Had the doctor not done this everyday, he would also be crying.

"Jeongin.. don't cry. You're my baby, aren't you? You're so brave. Just forgive me. I just want to say one last thing. You were never a last option for me. For me, you were always a priority, my top priority. But I could never express it, neither by words nor by action. I hope you forgive..."

"Hyung! Doctor, he's losing consciousness, doctor help me, help us!" Jeongin cried hopelessly. But Seungmin had already given him that smile. That smile of farewell.

"Coming through!" The female doctor from earlier quickly injected the antidote. Jeongin cried, his heart hollow and bleeding with anguish. There was no end to the pain. He realized it over and over, until it washed over him like a flood and started drowning him whole. There was no end to this. He'll never see Seungmin again.

Seungmin began to shake violently. Jeongin had never seen someone in so much pain. Seungmin writhed in agony and all Jeongin could do was to cradle him and weep. The sheet revealed some of his skin and Jeongin saw the fresh stitches from the cut where the bullet had resided. The older boy was speedily losing all the life inside him, his breath ceasing. A strange music played in Jeongin's head. He was filled with music. He was the music, grieving over his muse. It was the intimacy that only the pair of them shared.

Cruel words
Stab me deep
Anger and Fear
Begin to seep
Guilt begins to rise
The poison has begun its course
No one knows the source..

And in the end, Jeongin's love forever remained one-sided.

Seungmin stilled.
He didn't move.
He didn't breathe.
Jeongin hugged him over and over. His heart was not beating.

No...

His eyes, like the stars, the same eyes he fell in love with months ago. Empty, hollow, dead.

With one last tear that stained his cheek, Jeongin softly kissed his lips goodbye. Because no matter how every inch of his being ached to believe, there was the part in his heart that knew.

Your absence is a wool,
From which I weave poems.
Here.
Take these blankets.
They will keep you warm.
---------------
I will not speak on this chapter let me emerge from sobbing
Edit: I decided to speak lol. BEFORE COMMENTING ANYTHING WEIRD PLEASE HAVE A GLANCE AT THE NEXT CHAPTER
BEFORE LEAVING THIS FANFIC ATLEAST HAVE A LITTLE PEAK OF THE NEXT CHAPTER IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK