𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟮 𝗠𝗬 𝗨𝗡𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗡 ━━━━━ 𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗮𝗰 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗿.

030.

' TUE , AUGUST 3RD 1995. '
95' annual source awards  ⸻
paramount theater, new york !

     BACKSTAGE AT THE PARAMOUNT THEATER for the 1995 Annual Source Awards, the air is charged with anticipation. I find myself surrounded by the hustle,  makeup kits open, and the hum of excited chatter filling the space. Michel'le sits on the seat in front of the mirror as I get her makeup done.

Michel'le sits patiently in the makeup chair, her presence showing a natural elegance that matches her soulful voice. I approach her, brushes and palettes in hand, ready to work my magic. "Michel'le how you feelin'?" I ask her with a smile.

Her hazel eyes meet mine in the mirror, a warm appreciation shining through. "I'm good, I'm happy I ain't performing this time, I just wanna see all the performances." She says, a playful glint in her eyes.

It feels nice to be back in New York once again, especially with the new memories New York now holds for me. I'm here for the Source Awards as one of Deathrow's stylists and I'm given the chance to watch the show and also attend the after party. We've got here early before the show since there are a few looks that need to get done before the show airs, and it's my first time attending a show so I've never felt more excited.

I start by prepping her skin it's flawless, and I decide to enhance its natural beauty. As I carefully apply foundation, I engage in a conversation with her. "You look beautiful today Sanai . . you don't even look like you've just had a baby."

I laugh a little at her words and she smiles brightly at the sound. "Thank you, I've been trying to burn it all off." I tell her my hands resuming their work and she nods her head understanding me completely.

I'm wearing a simple dress followed with a jacket on top, my hair is done perfectly and so is my makeup. I'm not an artist so I don't want to over do anything.

As I continue to work on Michel'le's makeup, the backstage energy intensifies. The sounds of heels clicking and distant music create a backdrop for our conversation. I pick up a soft brush, adding a touch of color to her cheeks.

"How's things going on with Suge, I haven't asked you about it but when he took you away you should've seen the look on your face." She tells me, adorably mimicking my facial expression through the mirror, I laugh. "Things are going on well, I can see he's a little hurt by it but he's seemed to have moved on . . I haven't said a word to him since." Michel'le nods her head.

Ever since Suge and I came clear with where we stood in regards to one another, I couldn't help but still kind of feel a little bit guilty for not making things a little clearer, even if it was him that rushed things with me.

Suge was someone who was there for a me and helped me through a lot, understanding my struggles and everything that lead to me working for Deathrow and even if things didn't work out for us romantically I still felt as if he was genuinely a good person.

Although up until now, I couldn't bring myself to talk to him.

"I told you he would, Suge's a tough guy." She mumbles as I move onto applying her lipstick. "He really is . . and about Tupac he really is going to bail him out of jail and I won't lie I'm excited about that." I feel Michel'le's eyes turn to look towards me through the mirror, I keep my eyes on her lips.

"You and Tupac really are close." She mutters. I hum simply in response, I haven't told her anything about my relationship with Tupac other than me knowing him, no one other than Suge knows that Tupac really is the father of my son. "Yeah, we are." I say through a breathy chuckle.