Deceived Me

Chapter 38:

Stella looked at her helplessly and spoke.

" Alice, whats wrong? Why are you still upset?" Stella asked as she leaned forward and held her hand. Alice heard her and looked at her without a change in her expression.

Her eyes were cold but behind that coldness hid despair. She took her hand back and put it on the wheel as she looked ahead. She told Stella.

" You know Stella, I could never hate you no matter what happens. So when you do things like this, when you hid your pain, my heart breaks but no matter how much I would feel this pain, it doesn't matter to you. You've always been like this. While I tell you everything, the happy and sad parts of my life, you only share the happy parts. I wanted to hate you for that but even that, even that I couldn't... " Alice put her head on the wheel and looked down. Hidden behind her eyes were not just the momentary pain but the pain that she held onto for two lifetimes.

Stella was shocked when she heard such words from Alice. Alice rarely spoke like this with her. In fact, she never talked like this before. She never saw her this upset. But she couldn't understand is why shes so upset? She can't be this upset over her small injury right?

" Alice, why are you getting so upset over it? It was just a small cut on my finger. I lost focus for a moment and injured myself. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry." Stella had not even finished her sentence when Alice glared at her with slightly red eyes as she looked up from the wheel and asked.

" Didnt want to worry me?! Why? I have the right to worry and care about the person I love! Its not about the small cut Stella. You've always been like this. When I used to get hurt or sick, you would put everything aside just to care for me. And when you fell ill, you wouldn't let me know just because i had a small meaningless essay exam. I never gave a damn about anything in this world other than you so why do you... Why do you do this to me... " Why do you hide your pain even at the cost of hurting me and yourself till we both can't bear it.

Stella was stunned. She didn't even remember that but she was like that. She never thought this would bother Alice so much. She didn't say anything for a while. Alice looked on the other side out of the window trying to stabilise heresfl.

" ...I am sorry. I never thought much about it. Had i known it would hurt you so much, i wouldn't hide it from you. Please, don't worry about me anymore. I promise I'll not hide my pain from you again."

Alice turned to look at her. Her eyes were still sad but they were no longer upset. Instead they looked quite self depriciating.

" What if you broke your promise?" Alice didn't believe in her. She didn't believe that she would hold onto her promise when a really bad time ever comes.

" If I break my promise, then you can punish me however you want. Nothing would hurt me more than you leaving me." Stella said in all her seriousness. When Alice heard that, she wanted to smile mockingly at herself. She wouldn't need to even punish her. Stella would punish herself in such a cruel way but she didn't thought about telling her instead.

Alice closed her eyes and tried to calm down. What happened in the past will never happen again. She had decided to pretend that it was just a passing nightmare and nothing more. Recalling those memories and arguing over them is stupid. Stella hasn't even done anything such now.

After calming down, Alice looked at her and told her.

" Alright. Let's talk later. You can go now."

Stella smiled and was about to go but then she remembered her dream and stopped. Seeing her expression change, Alice asked her.

" What's wrong?"

" Nothing. I just... I had a nightmare. It was very realistic but not at the same time. Its just been bugging me."

" What did you see? Usully, we forget about our dreams when the day ends."

" I know but this one, it felt stragely familiar like it was a lost memory i recovered but that's so stupid. It was a really bad dream. Let it be. Telling you about it won't do anything good."