BE YOUR GIRL [18+] ✔️

Chapter Fourteen

She was away for 2 months... 2 months of not talking to her, seeing her, loving her. 2 months because I'm a dumbass that can't live a normal life.

I sat at my desk with the biggest hangover ever. I didn't sleep at all last night, I spent it cleaning out that fucking red room. I had some painters over there painting today. Next the interior decorator is coming. I haven't spoken to anybody since I got in, I've been working on reports nonstop. I'm falling apart and my only lifeline left me.

I'm lost.

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When I left Emily's that night I knew I had to take a vacation. I emailed Hotch so I could take all my time off, I had two months worth. It started immediately. I had called Rossi and he had a cabin not too far from the city that nobody knew about. 3 bedrooms, a pool and a theater. I packed up some bags and the boys and I took off. I couldn't be in the city knowing I'll run into her. Luckily it was summer break and the boys didn't have school.

I need a break.

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Ever since Jennifer left I haven't been the same. I drank all the time, I don't eat, and I'm constantly putting myself in dangerous situations with unsubs. Hotch has threatened to suspend me one too many times.

I send Jennifer an email everyday hoping for a reply. Pen keeps me updated with a few words like "She's okay" "They're fine". I find myself sitting outside her house way too many times to count. I want her back in my arms so bad, it's driving me up the wall.

Come back.

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I'm pregnant. I've been gone for a month, I haven't been feeling good the last two weeks. When we went on our weekly shopping trip I picked up a pregnancy test. I stared at the lines for the longest time before calling my mom and Garcia, I had to tell them about Emily so they wouldn't think I was cheating.

Garcia had a doctor sent to the cabin. Apparently I'm two months along. I'm starting to show a little since I've lost weight. I've been so depressed without Emily.

Garcia keeps me updated about her. It hurts me to hear that she's going through so much. I want nothing more than to be in her arms.

Michael is getting so big, he's starting to teeth. And Henry is the best thing to ever happen. He helps me so much around the cabin and with Michael.

Depression.

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It's been 2 months. Jennifer will be home any day. I've stopped drinking the closer it got to her coming back, I've been in the gym nonstop, and my work has been improving.

I kept sending her emails, she sent me a picture of the boys back one time and I cried the rest of the night. I miss all 3 of them so much.

Henry's room at my place is finally complete, I got him everything he loved and more, I even redid (now) Michaels room. I made the other room into another office for Jennifer.

I went to therapy and it has helped a lot, I talked about my past and why I did what I did. I've been improving over the last 2 months.

Healing.

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It feels weird being back in the brownstone with the boys. I'm finally back from vacation and I miss it already. I know Emily is dying to see me as Garcia said.

I want to see her too, but how will she react to a baby? I'm terrified, what if she doesn't change her life, what if things never work out?

I unpack all of our clothes and separate them for washing. Henry is keeping Michael occupied in the living room with a movie. Henry goes back to school in a couple of weeks and I have to get his clothes bought and school supplies.

I need Emily so bad.

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Henry starts school in a couple of weeks. I gave Garcia my credit card and told her to go crazy for him. She knows his style and what he needs for school. I told her to get him a computer and iPad as well.

Jennifer fought hard to get Henry into this private school, luckily this year the kids get to wear whatever they like. Something new. We used my moms name to get him in because I'm his second biggest fan.

I wish I could have kids of my own. My doctor said it's very possible for that to happen, just never found the right woman but then I met Jennifer.

I have to fix this relationship.

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"Emily," she says as I answer the phone. I haven't heard that voice in weeks. She hadn't returned to work right away. Garcia still promised me that she was okay.

"Jennifer..."

"Thank you for getting Henry's school stuff. He loves all the clothes and his laptop and iPad. You didn't have to do that Emily... I would've gotten it somehow..." I know she's probably fidgeting with hair and licking her lips.

"You're welcome Jennifer. It's my gift to him. He's gonna need it for school, I heard they give homework out the ass." I miss you. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

"I need to see you Jennifer.... Come over. Bring the boys."

"I can't Emily..."

"Fine I'll come to you" I get up and throw some clothes on grabbing my wallet and car keys.

"Okay..." we hung up and I left, heading to her.

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I jump in the shower really quick before Emily gets here, I haven't showered in days. I cleaned up around the house earlier. The boys are in bed, finally. I lay on the couch curled up with a cover.

I must've been tired because the next thing I know is I feel arms around me. I tense up and close my eyes.

"It's me.." I turn over and run my eyes over her face.

"It's you.."