LEFT BEHIND | Scarlett Johansson x Daughter.

CHAPTER 45 - UNITED IN GRIEF. *

Mom and dad have been gone for at least 2 hours now. Everything kind of feels like a blur. 

It was scary seeing mom like that. Was she having a panic attack? Was it because of me?

I hate this, I hate not being okay. Not even because of myself but mainly because of what I'm doing to everyone around me. 

I've said it for a while now. No matter how many times mom has told me that everything that has been happening is okay, that she is there for me, I've always known it has affected her, but I've never truly seen how much it is. 

If I can go by anything then it is definitely with what just happened...

I feel so anxious right now. 

My body hasn't stopped shaking, after a while Rose even got off of me because of how much I was shaking. 

My chest feels so incredibly heavy, as if I have a mountain of people sitting on top of me holding me down. 

I know I need to breathe but I can't. It's a lot. I want mom but right now I can't have her because she is clearly going through some stuff because of me.

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Colin POV.

I'm laying on my bed, Scarlett asleep in my arms. Her face is blotchy red, her old tears staining her face. 

I knew things had been going on with her, with Scarlett. She had increased her therapy a lot since JJ was put onto antidepressants. Everything that has happened with JJ has affected her massively. 

Not that it is JJ's fault, it will never be her fault. Scarlett knows that too, but I also know Scarlett. 

Scarlett thinks it's her fault. She thinks that she is the one responsible for everything that has happened and is happening to Y/n. But that isn't true either. 

She has been having nightmares, normally always. Leaving her awake and restless. I don't remember the last time I woke up and she was still in bed next to me. Some nights I wake up at 3am and she is sitting outside just crying. 

I've felt helpless. I am helpless. You can't rush these things. 

Neither of them can. 

Both Scarlett and Y/n. 

I need them both to be better. 

Watching the love of my life and my daughter in complete pain, it's, god it is agony. 

But anyway, I managed to calm Scarlett down, I could tell what was going on, she was having a panic attack, she was thinking of the worst case scenario. I know what she was thinking of when she started to break down, especially with her broken muttered words of 'she's killed herself' over and over again. 

It is the same with the nightmares, the first time she had one, she couldn't speak. She just laid in my arms and sobbed herself back to sleep. That carried on until I managed to get her to just talk to me, which felt so ironic with the fact that she was doing the exact same thing JJ would constantly do and not talk when she really needed to. But when she did finally tell me, it was as though everything fell into place. How she was acting with JJ and just in general made sense. 

The subtle distance she was putting between them both, the way she would be in the kitchen and just stare at the knives, that was even worse after a nightmare. The way she would constantly linger outside of JJ's room sometimes when she did have a nightmare. The never wanting to leave JJ at home alone ever. Everything made sense. 

So it only makes so much sense that leaving JJ home alone today and then JJ not answering her phone or her sounding off, put the worst case into Scarletts head. 

I've been on a therapy session with Scarlett, she mainly does them through Skype, or FaceTime. Her therapist suggested I sit in on one of her sessions, due to how much it was affecting Scarlett, she wanted to know if more things were happening with her than what she was letting on. Her therapist also suggested that we both come in and do a session with JJ and her own therapist. Scarlett has always protested it. Not wanting Y/n to see what is wrong, worried that she will take the blame for everything that is wrong. But I think after today, it has to happen. Y/n is going to now ask questions and worry herself and it is better off to tell her the truth rather than hide it from her. 

"MOMMY! DADDY!" Scarlett launches herself up in my arms, fear feeling her face. My heart stops at Roses shouting, we both get off of the bed and start to run downstairs. 

When we reach the living room we are met with Rose crying and JJ passed out on the floor. Scarlett goes to move towards JJ, tears filling her eyes but I stop her. 

"You take Rose into the other room and call 911. Okay?"

"No, Colin, I-I can't...I can't leave her." My hands fly to her face to get her to try and breathe normally again. 

"Babe, listen to me, please just do it." I tell her gently. She quickly picks up Rose and leaves the room as I turn back to JJ and put her into the recovery position. I make sure she is still breathing and is comfortable as I hear Scarlett talking to 911.

I thread my fingers through Y/n's hair as Scarlett makes her way back into the room, Rose no longer in her arms. 

"Is...Is she breathing?" Scarlett asks me, panic evident on her face and voice. 

"Yes." She relays my reply off to whoever she is speaking to. I keep my eyes intensely on JJ until I see something I was hoping not to.

"Scarlett, her lips are turning blue! She isn't waking up or responding! Tell them to hurry now!" My own panic voice comes out as I lean down and realise JJ isn't breathing anymore. 

"She isn't breathing anymore!" I shout.

I move her onto her back and get ready to start to do CPR when I feel no pulse, just as I go to start a hand is on my shoulder and a paramedic is behind me and takes over. I hadn't even realised Scarlett had left the room. 

I hurry towards Scarlett and pull her into my arms as she sobs. I hear more crying and turn to find Rose on the stairs. I bring Scarlett over with me to pick up Rose and get Scarlett to take her in hopes of helping her to calm down. 

I make sure Scarlett and Rose can't see anything the paramedics are doing as  they attach monitors to her body and hook her up with oxygen. I quickly give Scarlett's mom a call and ask her to hurry round to look after Rose while we go to the hospital. 

Everything happens so quickly. Worry filling all of our faces. Confusion filling the air on what the hell is happening. 

Why can't things ever go well?