LEFT BEHIND | Scarlett Johansson x Daughter.

CHAPTER 60 - WHAT MAKes you sad? *

Scarletts POV.

Getting JJ to the rehab facility was harder than we thought. We managed to leave her room after doctors checked her over one last time, making sure nothing else was wrong. She stayed by my side the whole way out of the hospital. Louise had said sometimes it's harder to get teens to go when their parents come but I couldn't let JJ go until she was there. 

When we got outside, JJ pushed me and tried to run, but failed to remember we had security with us that would help in getting her to rehab. One of the women grabbed her before she could even get a few meters away from us. 

It was awful. She was screaming and kicking, she wouldn't calm down. We had to restrain her until she wore herself out. Then we had to have the same conversation of us sending her there...It just was awful. I'm pretty sure it took us 2 hours to actually get her in the car. Louise was driving, Colin in the front, me in the back as JJ sobbed into my chest. 

Turns out mom called Hunter when everything went down, he came home straight away and looked after Rose while mom dropped a suitcase off with stuff for JJ. She followed behind Louise to the rehab. 

We weren't allowed to go through with JJ, no matter how much she tried to beg them to at least let me through but only Louise was allowed. I don't think I am ever going to get over her screams and cries. 

While she went, I had to stay and fill out paperwork. By that point, all I wanted to do was go home and cry. But I still couldn't. I still had Rose I needed to look after, work I still needed to get done...It's like none of it ever stops.

JJ will stay for a minimum of 30 days, depending on where they believe her process has moved to. I signed the forms, she needs this. This will help, before I had read the forms and signed them I had googled the rehab, they have a very high rate of 96% of teens recovering and still recovering to this day. I have to believe JJ will be in the 96%, I have to. 

When Louise next came out she had said JJ has gone to sleep and she waited with her until she did. It was 10pm by that point. Louise spoke with more people while I tried my hardest to listen but it all faded in and out of my brain.

After the talks we finally left. But I couldn't get in the car. I couldn't just leave. I just...Louise had to come and speak to me. Telling me that both of us will be getting updates everyday at 7:30pm on how JJ is. It helped put me at ease. But it also hurts to know I won't be able to still see her for another 2 weeks. I have just gone 3 months without seeing her properly, the times she was more than likely high too. It's all so confusing. 

But I managed to get in the car. I didn't really remember the journey home. I know Colin's car was still at the hospital but I don't remember any of it. Only waking up the next afternoon in bed with Rose laying next to me on her iPad.

When I finally got up all I thought about was JJ. Whether she was awake and okay, whether she had eaten, whether she had been asking for me, needing me but not being able to get to me...

I found myself standing at the doorway of her bedroom. The room was still a mess, it felt like a stranger's room. It's like in those 3 months I lost my little girl all over again and all I could do to help was send her to rehab.

I cleaned her room. Part of me wishes I didn't, part of me wishes I waited until I processed everything that has happened but I couldn't move away from it. 

I found so many drugs. So many blades. It wasn't her room. It made no sense. 

I cleared it out completely. Washed all of her clothes. Threw all of her furniture out...ordered new furniture. Everything needed to be gone. She needed a fresh start, not a room to come home to that she was hurting herself in, the reminders around her...Maybe I shouldn't have done it, maybe when she comes back she will hate it and miss her own room but I needed it to be something new, a new start, a fresh start. And I truly hope she will understand.