LEFT BEHIND | Scarlett Johansson x Daughter.

CHAPTER 55 - SCARS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL *

Surprisingly this school isn't bad. Well it isn't good either but it isn't bad. My lessons are okay, some people are nice. Not really much to say. I suppose I have made my way into a friendship group. Leah and Courtney are in the majority of my classes and they seem really nice so far. Luckily they haven't brought up Monday or I don't really know what I would have said... But anyway, I'm finding myself getting along with Leah and Courtney well and their friend group is kinda cool. It is like they're all connected. I am sort of the odd one out but who wouldn't be when they have just started a new school?

I've mainly only spoken to Leah, Courtney, Jordan and Alex, I haven't really spoken to the others that much. Well I've only known them for technically a day but it is still nice knowing there are 4 people I have spoken to. I saw them this morning and then we went to lessons, I didn't see them on break as I had to go and see Sarah about her putting me into higher lessons so I'm not so bored in class. But again it is fine, she spoke about how a lot of kids here are on all different paths and a lot of the classes are actually mixed with different ages so it gave me a little peace of mind. 

I had music today for the first time. I didn't know anyone in my class but I was quite happy being in my own company. Music has helped me a lot in different situations. I remember one of my first sessions with Louise where we spoke about helping get some of my emotions out through music and I still haven't actually quite driven forward with it yet. I used to play piano at my old school but I don't have a piano at home. I used to write stupid songs down in a notepad that is underneath my mattress. Mainly hidden just because it's for my eyes only, but even that being said I wouldn't care about people actually seeing it. I'm not embarrassed about it, and it isn't even me trying to brag but I don't think they're bad. 

It is something I enjoy and being around other people who also enjoy music is a blessing. Especially around people who are also using music to express themselves or help them through trauma. 

What is even better is the fact that Sarah actually teaches this lesson, it doesn't even feel like a lesson. There are 10 people in this class, everyone has free rein on what they want to do and how they want to do it. 

So here I am sitting in the back room, a piano in front of me as a random tune comes to my mind. It is like the music just flows through me and for once I let it, I very rarely go off course, going with my own head and heart on where I want things to go. Normally I stick with sheet music, or things I already know. Yet sitting here now letting my fingers slide over the keys as my lips start to hum random words along with what I am playing...well I feel free. 

I can't believe I haven't done this sooner. Before I can even think of doing more, my feet are taking me out into the main room, approaching Sarah and asking her for a blank sheet and some plain paper. Her face lights up when she sees the clear smile on my face. 

I couldn't run back into the room any quicker, notes flying out, lyrics coming to my brain as I hurry to write them down. 

But then the bell rings. 

I don't want to stop. 

And that is one thing I hate. I feel like I am getting somewhere. My feelings being drawn out in front of me, my truth staring at me. Sarah interrupts me as I stay staring at the keys.

"Have you got lunch?" Her voice is light, a lot like it always is, a comfort surrounding me even more when I realise everyone else has left. 

"Er, yeah. My mom packed me one." I feel my cheeks deepen red, slightly embarrassed about the fact mom packed me a lunch but Sarah's smile grows even more. 

"You can eat here if you want too. I'll be outside if you need me?" I nod at her words. Her silent encouragement makes me want to stay to continue doing what I'm doing. She leaves the room, the  door slightly open and I rush into my bag and pull out the container of strawberries, not being that hungry for anything else.