Protector (HotchxMaleOC) (Book2)

Interlude V: Through the Looking Glass II

*Mac*

When I got home I found Spencer lying on the couch blankly staring at a page in his book. No finger on the page to follow the line of his eyes as he speed reads. 

He's stuck in his head. Who knows how long he's been in there? 

I quickly remove my shoes at the door and hang up my jacket, setting my bag on the entryway table. Walking over to Spencer I removed his book and by doing so he didn't even notice. I thought the movement would get him to realize someone was here. He's just too far gone in his head. 
Setting his book on the coffee table, I sat at his head placing it on my lap, and slowly began running my fingers through his hair. Speaking softly to him. Trying to bring him back to me. 

"Sweetheart." 

"Spencer, I'm right here." 

"I'm here, Angel when you're ready to talk."

I kept repeating things like this in almost a whisper placing feather-light kisses on his hair and forehead. I continue to massage my fingers through his hair. Consistently adding slightly more pressure so he has something to focus on. 

*Spencer*

Something is going on with Hotch. He's constantly three wrong words away from exploding. When he does explode it's almost silent but it bugs me to be around him. 

I have to distance myself in case I slip. I know Hotch is safe, but right now his aura is heavy. Strong. Demanding. 

Did something happen at DOMINIC? 

Did something go wrong with his date with Jacob? 

Is something wrong with Jack?

Can the team help with anything?

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Arriving home, Mac's not there. He must still be at DOMINIC. He's been behind on paperwork a bit. I'm able to set my bag down on the dining room table and grab a book before a pounding starts behind my eyes. I lay on the couch hoping to get lost in my book. Make everything fade. Make my brain shut up. Make it stop. 

Instead of being able to get lost in my book, I get lost in my mind. The pounding increased behind my eyes and my vision blurred. 

Something's wrong with Hotch. Something that he won't ask help for. We're his team, we're here to help. We helped after Haley died. We still help with Jack. Why is this different from them? 

Is it DOMINIC related? I know Mac and Aaron are starting to become friends. 

Mac's been excited about it. Partially because he's introducing someone I know, one of my friends but also because he's introducing someone new into the lifestyle. Someone eager to learn, at least that's the impression I got. 

So is there just no one Hotch can talk to about it? No one to help him, give him advice, to listen to him. 

He has thoughts he needs to get out, but instead of seeking help, he bottles it up. Hides it behind cracked walls.  When the bad spills through he tries to catch it, but not all of it stays. His aura strengthens making my control on mine slip. 

I've been fighting back my subspace all week. Is that why my head is pounding and the outside world is slowly fading?

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Something's scratching my head. Pressure increases with each stroke. The sounds around me in the outside world sounded like they were underwater. So I ignored them. Focusing on the movement through my hair. 

Eyes closing. 

I could feel the tension leave my body. Muscles and limbs practically turning to jelly. Finally letting everything go fuzzy. Letting the safe feeling wash over me. 

I think I started humming in content. A deep chuckle broke through the fuzzy sounds. A stronger yank on my hair as something got caught in a knot. An unsolicited moan left my throat. 

Can I just stay in this nice fuzzy place?

"You with me, Angel?"

Mac.

"Yes, Sir."

"Spencer?"

"Can I stay?" I whined. 

"In Subspace?" 

"Please."

*Mac*
Finally some movement. I watched as his eyes slipped shut and the tension left his body. He started to quietly hum. 

I just continued to run my fingers in his hair hoping to bring him more to the present. Unfortunately, my fingers snagged a knot in his hair causing me to yank harshly on it. Which in turn caused him to moan. 

"You with me, Angel?"

It took him a minute to process. 

"Yes, Sir." 

God Damn it. Mac, now is not the time. 

"Spencer?" I spoke trying to bring him into a steadier headspace. 

"Can I say?" he whined. 

"In Subspace?" I asked making sure I understood what he was asking. 

"Please." he breathily responded with. 

Has he been fighting a slip or a drop for a bit?

"Sure, Sweetheart. But we need to talk." 

"Okay." 

"Is everything alright?" 

"Not really."

"What's wrong?" 

"Something's up with Hotch." 

Which explains his step back from DOMINIC. Hopefully, it's not just about the date I set him up on with Jacob. Jacob was very displeased by it. Aaron, however, didn't speak to me much about it. 

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't said anything. But he's definitely keeping things inside. Sometimes small things cause his cup to overflow and his aura gets stronger. Makes me have to leave the room." 

Aaron's natural dominant aura unconsciously strengthens as he angers or as he gets frustrated. No proper control was pushing on Spencer's own control. 

He's been holding back a drop for a while. 

"How long have you been forcing yourself to stay in your normal headspace?"

"All week," he whispered pushing his head into my hand. 

Him being reluctant to leave his subspace makes more sense now. 

I leaned over and kissed him. He hummed smiling into the kiss. 

"Love you," he muttered. 

"I love you too," I spoke back against his lips. 

"Cuddles?" he pouted against my lips. 

"Of course," I said moving to pick him up to go cuddle in bed.