Protector (HotchxMaleOC) (Book2)

11

*Jack*

Why is it that every time my Dad is trying to be happy and move on from Mom, Aunt Jessica ruins it?

Mom left Dad first. She wanted to spend more time with him, wanted him to do a different job, but he didn't listen. 

Though my memories aren't fully about how they acted, I know enough. Just because no one told me or Aunt Jessica and Mom tried to tell me otherwise doesn't mean I never knew. I always saw how much Dad loved my Mom. I also noticed when Mom stopped loving Dad. She'd say something bad about him. 

Just because I didn't understand why we were away from Dad in the first place, why we couldn't see him, doesn't mean I was missing what was going on around me. Mom spent more time with the guy with us who worked with Dad. 

After Mom died, Dad dropped everything to be there for me. He stopped working a little bit and paid attention to me. Wanted to make sure I was okay. Sure I never saw Dad grieve Mom, but that doesn't mean he didn't. I bet he talked with Uncle Dave about it. He talks with Uncle Dave about anything, they're best friends. 

Aunt Jessica grieved by being over all the time. She helped Dad out a bit, but I think she did it to rub it in his face that she knew what to do when he didn't. I think Aunt Jessica was trying to be Mom. Then Dad put her in her place, and let her know what was happening. Grateful for her help, but he's my Dad. My parent, guardian. 

When Dad was with Beth, Aunt Jessica would make comments about Dad forgetting Mom. Replacing her. Which I didn't see. Beth made Dad happy. He deserves to be happy.

Then the other night, Aunt Jessica was accusing Dad. He's happy. I don't know if he's seeing one person/relationship thing, but I know he's going on dates. I know he's happy. Happier than when he was with Beth. I also know that Aunt Jessica's comments make Dad uncomfortable. I don't know why, I just know they do. 

I feel like these dates are also helping Dad grieve or realize things. Like I said, he's happier and Aunt Jessica trying to be my Mom is weird. It's like she's jealous of Dad's happiness. 

It makes me uncomfortable which is why I hate it when she watches me. She pushes her authority of being an adult related to me on me. Telling me to do things. Expecting me to bad mouth my Dad. She makes comments about Dad and his attention to me. How much he loves me, etc. It's annoying and I don't want to be around her by myself anymore.  I just hope Dad is okay with me not being around Aunt Jessica as much. 

"Hey, Dad?" I asked walking into the living room. 

Dad's sitting on the couch going through files for work, he closed them when I spoke. 

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Is it okay if I don't want to hang around Aunt Jessica anymore?"

"Is this because of the fight the other day?"

"A little, but mostly because she makes comments about you to me and it makes me uncomfortable. When I said she's trying to replace Mom, I really do mean it."

"I know you did, kid. I'm not going to make you go somewhere or be with someone that makes you uncomfortable."

I hugged him. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too, Bud. Thank you for telling me how you feel." 

I nodded into his chest. He tightened the hug. My body buzzes with happiness. 

"Can Uncle Dave watch me when you go on your dates?"

"I'll ask him."

"Yay." 

*Aaron*
Jessica keeps hounding me about seeing Jack or watching him. Did she just not listen to Jack the last time she watched him?

Did she just let his words go in one ear and out the other?

Jack just told me that she makes him uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. A feeling that family members shouldn't be forcing on each other. Especially with comments about how much a parent cares for their child. 

He'd rather spend time with Dave, which I know he won't mind as long as he is available. 

I've been doing my best to inform her that it's Jack's decision, but she swears I'm keeping him from her. That I'm the one telling him lies. Keeping him from his mother's sister. His Aunt. "The only connection he truly has to his Mom."

I'm tired of this repeated argument in slightly different fonts. I'm tired of Jessica constantly trying to be Haley by telling me how to parent my son. How to live my life. 

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It's been a couple of days since the argument with Jessica. I've spent my free time with Jack. Unfortunately, I can't get over the argument. 

It's probably dumb that I can't get past it. But it's always the same topics with her. The same underlying issues that Haley had. 

Haley's gone, but Jessica's here so that I can't move on. To make sure I don't.

I even keep running Jack's words through my head, about how he thinks Jessica is replacing Haley. And honestly, I see it now. It's been pointed out to me and I can pick out everything. 

When she first stepped up to help after Haley died, I assumed it was just to check in and help us get back on our feet. She was over often, helping with Jack while I was at work. Taking on parental aspects while making comments about where my attention lies the most. I think I ignored her because she reminded me so much of Haley. Down to the repeated arguments. To the point that I wasn't fully paying attention to how she made Jack feel. I'm just glad that Jack felt comfortable enough to tell me she made him uncomfortable. That he didn't want to be around her by himself.

Sighing I run my hands over my face. 

I need a distraction. 

I guess now is as good a time as any to finish my research on Aftercare. 

Aftercare.

During sex, oxytocin and dopamine are released until they are spent. Aftercare is a way of helping your body and mind adjust while those chemicals fade away. It's attending to the emotions that arise post-sex, post-coital dysphoria (PCD), or "post-sex blues" instead of avoiding or wallowing in them alone. It also helps to avoid the sad or irritable feelings that may arise after having consensual sex. 

Aftercare is an act of self-love and an opportunity to regulate emotions and deepen connections. It's doing whatever it takes for you and your partner to feel safe, seen, and comfortable discussing what happened during sex. 

Some examples of Aftercare are removing restraints and blindfolds, providing reassurance, or tending to marks and bruises, etc.

 So essentially it's clean up. 

You're cleaning up your partner. 

You're cleaning up the scene. 

You're cleaning up the abundance of emotions you're feeling, be that with physical contact or words or whatever. 

I think Aftercare is one of the things I'm excited to try. To work out with Jacob what works best for him, for us, after a scene.