Protector (HotchxMaleOC) (Book2)

9

(A/N: I will be using the shorthand D/s when talking about a Dominant/Submissive relationship)

*Aaron*

 Day one of talking about our relationship and potential dynamic together. Jacob said today would work as long as I'm not called in. I did let him know that I can't control all of it. So we'll get through what we can get through today. 

"Okay." Jacob took a breath. 

I get that explaining something you are actively involved in to someone coming into it from the outside is challenging. He might be nervous about how he is going to word things. Nervous about how I'll take in the information. How I'll look at him after. 

"Jacob, hey it's okay. We're just having a conversation. We're just learning. I'm learning." 

He nodded. Another breath. 

"Okay. So the two big things involved with BDSM are consent and communication. Starting with consent, in a D/s scene it is standard practice for the parties involved to negotiate at length the details of the scene and then contract what the submissive and dominant are definitely willing to do, what they might be willing to do, and what is absolutely off limits. It helps create rules within the relationship and scenes/play, as well as helping the participating individuals come to terms with their own limits and know how to define them. 

Communication. 

Needing good communication with your partner is a big one. Being able to inform a partner about what is uncomfortable. I mean communication in general for a relationship. But in BDSM safewords and consent are the important parts. The safeword is a word or physical cue meant to end play. A signal to stop. An example of a safeword/phrase would be using the traffic light system. So green for go, yellow is to proceed with caution, and red is a hard stop. Everyone involved in BDSM or a scene should have one. No matter what role they play. 

BDSM play is not random, it's not built on spontaneity. It's built on anticipating a set of behaviors that are negotiated beforehand. Rules that are talked about before the scene has even begun."

So it does in fact involve a low level of profiling, at least a basic understanding of it. Observing and noting down what you're seeing. Painting a picture. 

"BDSM is an acronym. 

Bondage/Discipline. 

Dominance/Submission. Which is the dynamic we are looking into. " 

A breath.

"And SM stands for Sadism/Masochism. But in general, each category refers to a wide array of kinks and erotic practices. 

Practicing BDSM is about a lot more than the act of having sex. A "scene" may not involve sex or even touching. Though the most common themes are psychological in nature. 

*Power dynamic (i.e: D/s)

*Pain

* Humiliation

*the Taboo. 

BDSM is about knowing yourself. It can improve your life by teaching you to advocate for your needs and communicate more clearly. You decide what it looks like and what you want to get out of it."

"So what does it look like to you? What is BDSM to you, Jacob?"

I watched as Jacob froze, thinking. I wonder if he's ever been asked that before. 

"It helps build self-esteem and confidence in everyday life as well as in the bedroom."

Oh. So maybe engaging in these dynamics, in this culture can help me. Help me understand the roots of my insecurities. The insecurity about myself when it comes to caring for family and relationships.