Beginners Luck

Thunderbolt

Kaelyn

We've decided to keep baby Holbrook a secret until our wedding night which is just a four more weeks away. We figured all of our family and closest friends will be with us that night and it would a nice surprise to tell everyone then. It's been so hard keeping the secrete from Char and my mama, I've almost blurted it out a millon times but i've managed to keep it in so far. Drew has been so helpful with everything going on and wracking his brain wondering what our little bean will be. After we get back from our honeymoon we get to start working on the nursery. I still don't want to jump the gun to soon with my past experience but Drew is really excited and the way his eyes light up when he talks about it I refuse to bring any of his happiness down.

It's Kyle Jr's birth day today, it was a bittersweet going to his grave with a new little teddy bear. Drew had me a bouquet of flowers with this little teddy bear on the island when I woke up this morning. I sat by Kyle Jr's grave and cried as I told him he was going to be a big brother, Drew held me the whole time never questoned anything. Kyle wasn't able to make it back in time to be there today due to a rodeo. Sometimes I wonder where life would have taken us if Kyle Jr had of made it, would me and Kyle of worked out or would I be a single mom. Things were good until they weren't and I know that changes nothing now, I would't trade my life now for anything. I snapped out of my deep thoughts and squeezed Drew's hand as he lead me back to the warm truck.

"would you like to go anywhere else or go home?" Drew asked softly wiping my tears away before he closed my door.

"Home" I mumbled

It was cloudy and started to drizzle out, we have about an hour drive home and I wanted nothing more to go back home and snuggle up in a blaket in front of the fire and just relax. It was a cool fall morning here in Texas leaves were falling and the weather was slowly chaning to winter. I was trying to hold all my feelings together but I couldn't hold it in any longer the tears just escaped my eyes and kept falling.

"Darlin" Drew whisphered looking over at me with a worried look "I love you" he wiped my tears with his free hand.

"I love you too" I smiled "Im sorry my emotions are just taking over me lately" I hate not being able to control them.

"Don't apologize baby you're going through a lot right now" he said so calmly "anything you need im right here I promise" he said squeezing my hand for assurance.

~~~~

We got home the fire was burned down to embers so Drew put some more logs on the fire. I snuggled up in a blanket and drifted off to sleep watching the flames of the fire dance.

"Darlin I made you some brunch " I heard Drews soft voice as he kissed the top of my head. I opened my eyes slowly and his eyes met mine with a swift smile. "I figured you'd be hungry before I go out for my afternoon training session.

"Thank you baby" I grabbed the plate sleepily out of his hands "It smells amazing" Bacon, eggs, pancakes and avocado toast my current favorite.

Drew

Everything lately has set Kae over the edge with emotions and I wish there was something more I could do. I know it's not all pregnancy related shes under a lot of stress in nearly every aspect of her life right now. She deserves so much more than what this life has given her and I hope I can give us the best life possible from here on out. I cannot wait to find out what our little bean will be and to watch Kaelyn turn into the best mother in the world. I just hope i'm able to be a decent dad to the little one. Not growing up with a dad in my life has taken it's toll on me at times but I am thankful for all my grandparents did and how they raised me.

This little bean of ours is definitely going to change everything but not in a bad way. It will be a first for both of us and I'm excited. It's for sure not what I had planned would happen this soon but I wouldnt change it for the world. It's been so hard not being able to openly talk about it yet. But soon Kaelyn will be my wife, little bean will be here before we know it and we get to start the rest of forever together. Ive been blessed in more ways then I could ever imagine. God's been good to me..