shattered : loki's story

darling, let me go

warnings: mention of su1s1d3,
very emotional.

I was in the mood to write so be prepared.
I've been writing since I could put pen to paper so I'm not joking when I say, be prepared.
Yes I am being a tiny bit full of myself but I spent hours on this sooo

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The castle was silent, only the gentle whispers of the wind creeping down the empty corridors, creaking the uneven floorboards in its path.
He was still on the balcony, stood up as he held onto the railing which was coated in a soft layer of snow, his breathing was unsteady, shaking as the air he let out burnt the frostbitten air.

Loki stood stiffly, looking down at the iced floors beneath him, meters down from the ledge he was currently situated on.
A sob broke through his cracked lips as his hands covered his face with embarrassment, smearing the tears around his face that just kept falling.

Falling.

Fandral was asleep on a pile of old books, his hair was messy and his hands grew red in the frozen room.
The wind fought against the windows, howling as the night went on, gradually waking up the soldier, who stretched out of his sleep, rubbing his eyes exhaustedly.
He looked around unable to see a thing, stumbling over chairs and novels as he searched for the library door, letting out a sigh of relief as his hand grabbed onto the cold metal.

The door creaked open and Fandral's eyes winced at the unpleasant sound, gently closing the door behind himself.
His body shivered as the air penetrated his tanned skin, which was now painted with goosebumps, holding his arms around his chest as he walked cautiously through the hauntingly empty halls.

LOKIS POV

The winter breeze felt pathetic against my body, failing to push me away from the fencing with its uneasy forces.
As I stand on the balcony in the midst of winter, my heart is filled with trepidation and my eyes well up with tears. The snowflakes descend gracefully from the darkened sky, forming a soft and pristine layer on the ground. The biting chill of the air seeps into my very core, sending shivers coursing down my spine. The profound stillness is only interrupted by occasional gusts of wind, carrying with them the distant echoes of an owl's forlorn hoot. The encompassing darkness wraps around me, intensifying the weight of my emotions. Each delicate snowflake that alights upon the ground feels like a minuscule fragment of glass, reflecting the shattered pieces of my troubled state of mind. I yearn for the snow to cleanse my troubled thoughts and bestow upon me a sense of tranquillity, but I understand that healing requires time and patience. At this moment, I find solace in the ethereal beauty of the snow, hoping that its serene presence will eventually thaw away my worries and bring a profound sense of peace to my restless soul.
I stood at the edge of the precipice, gazing down into the abyss below. The weight of my thoughts pressed heavily upon my shoulders, as I contemplated the unimaginable. The wind whispered through the trees, carrying with it a haunting melody that seemed to echo their inner turmoil. Each passing second felt like an eternity, as my mind teetered on the edge of a decision that could alter my entire existence. The world around me blurred, my vision clouded by a mixture of fear, sadness, and a desperate longing for release.
I glared down for another chilling second, before grabbing onto the bars, letting myself fall in the embrace of the season's frigid air.

Fandrals POV

As I walked through the cold and haunting corridors of the ancient castle, a shiver ran down my spine. The air was heavy with a sense of mystery, and the dimly lit torches flickered, casting eerie shadows on the stone walls. The sound of my footsteps echoed through the vast emptiness, amplifying the solitude that enveloped me. The castle seemed frozen in time, its history echoing through every creaking floorboard and weathered tapestry.

As I navigated the darkened path until I heard a cry break through the silence, walking down the sounds passage.

And there, at the very edge of the balcony, stood my boyfriend, his silhouette a stark contrast against the night sky.

I stood there, my heart pounding in my chest, a mixture of fear and desperation coursing through my veins. Confusion clouded my face as I watched him, his hands trembling uncontrollably, his body rigid with anxiety. And then, in a moment of stark realization, it hit me like a thunderbolt. My voice rose in a desperate cry, "LOKI!"

I ran to him, grabbing onto his waist as he fought against me trying to get over the bars.

"Let me go!" He sobbed.

I shook my head, my words getting caught in my throat as fear and guilt washed over me.

"Loki darling please!"
I said as I pulled him back with all the strength I had, both of us tumbling backwards onto the cold balcony floors, I held him in my arms tightly. My heart racing at the thought I had almost just lost my lover... my boy.

I rocked him as he sobbed in my arms, my heart shattered, wishing for him to just have some moment of peace in his fucked life.

"I've got you dove... I've got you... "
I whisper comfortingly, holding him tightly, afraid that he would slip away from me.

He was still tense, I knew he wanted to go, that he wanted release, but I couldn't let it happen, I couldn't lose him, nobody could lose him, he's our Loki. Our Prince.

"I'm not letting you go."
I whispered
"I can't let you go Loki.. don't... please angel please.."

I cradled him in my arms, gently swaying back and forth, feeling the weight of his pain against my chest. With each sway, my heart shattered into countless pieces, longing for him to find a moment of respite during his turbulent life.

"I've got you, my dove... I've got you," I whispered, my voice filled with tenderness, as I held him tightly, afraid that he might slip away from my embrace. The heaviness of his burden pressed against me, but I was determined to bear it for him.

He remained tense, his body yearning for release, for a chance to break free from the chains that bound him. I understood his silent plea, his desire to escape the turmoil that consumed him. But I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, of anyone losing him. He was my hope, my everything.

"I'm not letting you go," I whispered, my voice trembling with a mix of desperation and unwavering love. "I can't let you go, Loki... Please, my angel, please stay with me."

As he eventually calmed in my arms, his head was heavy against me, completely exhausted.
"Let's go to Frigga, darling"
I whispered as I helped up his weak form, he shook his head repetitively.
"no please"
He sniffles.
"She can't know... I promised her I wouldn't do anything."
I lifted his light frame, helping him down the quiet halls.
"she knows you best my love."
I whisper.

I knew he was struggling, I knew it was bad, but I never expected this, nobody ever expected this.