shattered : loki's story

what he 'never had'

The next weeks were cold. The tension walked through the castle and everyone knew of the argument by now, Loki hadn't spoken or even looked at his father since, nor did the king to his son.
Frigga had been away at Midgard trying to find an infinity stone that was stolen from Asgard Castle not too long ago, she was due home at around midday, and Loki sat in the library awaiting her presence.
All he ever needed was his mother, she was the one person who never left her side.

There was a soft knock at the door and a gentle voice that instantly calmed his nerves.

"Loki?"
She called.

With a flick of his wrist, the doors opened and Frigga walked in slowly, her heels tapping against the floor as her blond hair swayed from side to side.

"I see Odin hasn't taken it well."
She says shaking her head and placing a hand on Loki's knee.
"He's always been small-minded... I never thought-"

Loki cut her off and just wrapped his hands around her waist, hugging her tightly.
"I missed you"
He hummed.
His mother chuckled gently, bushing her hands through his curls.
"I missed you too darling"
She says before kissing the top of his head softly.

"You and Fadral are still..?"
She questioned nervously.
Loki nodded against her shoulder.
"all good."
He mumbled.
Frigga nodded, relaxing more knowing nothing happened between them.

"You just got to ignore him Loki"
She says.

"You wouldn't believe how many times I've spoken to him, he's an arrogant man with an opinion selfishly strong, you don't deserve how he behaves with you Loki.. and I don't expect you to tolerate it."

Loki smiles. She never left his side, he repeats to himself.

"I didn't"
He whispers.

Friggas eyes widen.

"Loki"
She chokes.

"don't change your words now"
He laughs, brushing off the tension that built inside him.
Frigga rubs his shoulder.

"Why so tense again love? I was just shocked that you - if you - said anything - I didn't expect it"
She reassures him.

"I just said that if he won't respect me as his son I won't respect him as my father."

Frigga chuckles again.

"That's fair"

"Mhm"

It was quiet for a bit, it wasn't awkward as they both accepted silence when it greeted them, it was calming, it let them think.

"Have you rested well?"
Frigga questions, as a mother likely would.

"It's been alright"
Loki replies, knowing his sleep had been rough but he always had Fandral by his side to help.

"Good.."
She hums, shuffling as she goes to get up from the couch, loki groans as he loses her presence.

"I need to get on with my duties sweetheart, get some rest"
Her gentle voice fades away and the doors close softly, echoing through the library.

Loki sat up, feeling better knowing Frigga was back, having someone to go to again.
He brushes some fluff off his knees from the new fur couch that was put in the library, it was comfy, but irritating once you got off it looking like a cat.
The room was darker than it was before he first arrived, the sun was setting early still despite the awakening of spring, and rays of the setting sun crept into the cold room illuminating the dark shelves that mazed the room.
Loki rubbed his tired eyes and went off down the stairs, not to be late for dinner.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Lokis pov

I arrived early, Fandral and Sif were already there as I walked through the tall dining room doors, they were laughing, and I couldn't quite make out what they were talking about.

I hear Sif clear her throat, still laughing subtly, "Hey lover boy, Lokis here"
She grins teasingly at Fandral.
He looks up and his eyes lighten up as they meet mine, he gets out of his chair and hugs me tightly.

"I'm assuming you know Friggas back"
He smiles, realising I'm more relaxed than usual at dinner.

"yes, she found me in the library"
I reply, kissing Fandral's forehead gently while brushing away his blond hair that was a mess over his face.

"Lost your hairbrush?"
I raz.

"I need it cut"
Fandral groans childishly, attempting to sort out his hair

"It looks fine love."
I reassure him as he messes with his hair, just for me to ruffle it up again before taking my seat at the table.

Sif was watching, awkwardly but with a small smile on her face.

Fandral sits beside me, where he was before, and messes around with his cutlery as he waits impatiently for the others to arrive.
I put my hand on his and rearranged the knives and forks to avoid any commotion from the maid who laid the table before we got here.
The blond begins to run his hand through my fingers instead, looking at the old, chipped varnish on them and tracing the cuts and scars from missions and training.

Thor and Volstagg arrive not long after, not being hard to miss as their loud voices boom across the room, they stumble to their seats, seeming almost drunk, but continue to talk, likely not even noticing our presence.

The clock ticks closer to 5, and the only people we await for now are my mother and Odin, then the meal will be served after the toasts - as if almost on cue, they walk through the doors hand in hand, nodding to each other as they split to sit at each end of the large table.
There's a tap of a crystal glass as my - father- clears his throat and stands, the screech of his chair drawing more attention.

"A toast"
He calls - and everyone at the table stands, including some other soldiers, women, and guards - they raise their glasses and stand silently, waiting for the Allfather to speak.

"Tonight my toast goes to Volstagg, a strong soldier, one of my best, who proved themselves well tonight at the mission in Johtenheim. Not only did he conquer land and take down armies of frost giants - the monsters who are still to this day trying to invade our realm - but helped save my son, Thor, when he stumbled, left outnumbered against the - creatures - so to Volstagg, to the second son I never had"

Everyone cheers and raises their glasses, I don't move, I don't say a word, I just sit slowly, swallowing hard as I fight back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

the second son he never had?

the second son he never had.

a phrase that would never.. leave my head.

The rest of the evening was a blur as the food was served, it seemed I was the only one who realised the meaning behind his cruel words as everyone else laughed and smiled across the table, not even my mother or Fandral had a piece of knowledge of what Odin meant.
I felt humiliated.

the second son he never had.

I stood from my chair, drawing my lover's attention as he stared worriedly at my shakey figure. I left through the open doors behind me, up to my chambers.

My mother followed not long after.

The table was left silent.
Nobody had ever left the table during a feast without the allfather's permission.

the second son he never had.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

So sorry yall
have a good day ☻️