Catch Me When I Fall

* Crush Intensifies *

"Hey, why didn't I notice you have tattoos on your hands? Or did you just get them?" I ask. Tyrone is back to walking me home, except he's actually walking this time, not rolling along on his skateboard.

"Because you're Khai and your not always riding the same wave as everyone else."

"Maybe that's cause I can't ride waves. I just flail around in them and try not to drown." I pause, and Tyrone lets out a little laugh. "Are you being serious, though? You've had them for a while?"

Tyrone looks at me and nods.

"Since before I met you. It could be because you're half with it all the fucking time, but it's probably because I usually wear finger-less gloves."

I nod. That's far more acceptable to me than if I was previously blind to it. I mean, the reason I was even staring at his hands in the first place was because I was imagining holding his hand.

I can't help it. I can't suppress my feelings for him, especially when I'm around him. 

And I can barely make eye contact with him now, suddenly.

Why am I doing this to myself? 

I'm just going to fall more more hopelessly in love with him, and then I'm going to be sad that I can't have him or think there's something going on when there isn't, and then he's going to get upset that I think of him that way cause he'll think our friendship isn't good enough for me-

"The fuck are you thinking about?" Tyrone's voice breaks my continuous line of overthinking.

"W-what do you mean?" I ask, feeling like I'm half-dazed for some reason.

"You weren't talking, and you were pulling facial expressions again."

I sigh in a half-frustrated embarrassment and hide my face in my hands.

"It's okay, Khai. I didn't mean that as something to feel bad about. It's actually... it makes you more memorable."

Oh no, compliments. 

There goes my stupid face, blushing again. 

I know Tyrone's probably not trying to play with my feelings, but that's what it feels like.

"Oh." I stare at my shoes, hoping Tyrone won't see.

Oh no, I hear him laughing.

Suddenly, a hand pats my back a couple times, and when I brave a glance, I see Tyrone shaking his head while smiling.

"I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, Khai. I mean, I get it. But you're pretty awesome."

WHY DO I FEEL SO... SO... SO... AHH, I CAN'T THINK! MY BRAIN FEELS SCRAMBLED... WHY AM I SO SMITTEN SUDDENLY!? 

HE THINKS I'M AWESOME!?

I must've really missed him or something. 

Because my crush on him has, unbeknownst to me until now, obviously intensified.

"I... well... I mean thanks. You're really handsom-uh I mean.. I was... well you're awesome too... that's what I was saying..."

Guess I've lost the ability to form sentences.

"Are you alright?" Tyrone asks, looking mildly amused.

Oh, I just want to melt onto the floor like a little puddle and stay there until I can stop embarrassing myself and maybe get my brain to do what brains are supposed to do.

"Are you out of breath or are you anxious?" The amusement has left Tyrone, and he stops walking now to face me.

I want to hide!!!!