Amelie Costas was the up-and-rising, out-of-control nepotism baby. Until her dad decides to send her to boarding school to stop this from happening.
She figures that she has to make the best of it. After all, it is her final year of Highschool.
Ho...
Unfortunately, Winter break was over, and life is back to normal. As normal as it can get with my big, handsome hunk of a boyfriend! Ever since I realized that I love him, I can't stop whispering it in secret.
"I'm going to shower." Hudson would announce with a kiss on my forehead.
"K!" and as soon as he was out of earshot, "I love youuu" a quick whisper.
There had been a few times where I was sure he had heard.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" I would be quick to answer with a nervous smile. Gee, I hoped he hadn't heard. I wanted it to be special whenever I did choose to tell him for real. This moment, for example, was very tempting.
We're lying together on his bed, his back resting against the headboard. He's reading Little Women out loud, stopping here and there to make little annotations in the corners. I had long ago snatched up his pen and started doodling on his strong, tanned arm. I thought I was being sneaky until he leaned over and grabbed another pen from his nightstand.
I do admit that the doodles are partially an excuse to touch his arms. He looked so yummy wearing pajama pants and no shirt. I never really liked warm weather until I realized it's a perfect excuse for Hudson to take his shirt off. I truly am an evil gremlin.
I start to doodle two little gremlins, one with frizzy long hair and the other with big muscles. I give mine the courtesy of heart eyes and scribble A + H. I sit crisscrossed, admiring my artwork.
"I think I've done quite an excellent job." I declare proudly.
Hudson puts down his book to examine the stars, hearts, and little creatures that I've drawn on his arm. "I wholeheartedly agree."
"Great!" I uncross my legs and flop my head onto his stomach. "Keep reading, this part is really good."
I wait for a minute before frowning up at him. He looks distracted. "Are you okay Hudson?"
"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I'm ok." I don't believe him.
"Euro for your thoughts?"
"I was just thinking, y'know senior year and all, college." A lump forms in my throat. I mean, sure I've thought of it, but is there anything I truly want to do other than escape?
I'm behind on just about everything. "Yeah, um. Where are you going to college? I assume you've already applied." It's late in the year and Hudson is smart.
"I applied to Sorbonne in Paris." He shrugs.
"And you got in." I state. It doesn't need to be a question, I already know he did.
He confirms with a nod.
"I also got into Columbia."
"But where you really want to go is Sorbonne."
Another nod. I could tell he feels guilty. I don't want him to. I want to congratulate him, I want to jump up and down for joy. I'm sure it's no easy feat to get into both schools. Come on Amelie, hug him, congratulate him, say something, anything.
I sit stiff as a board.
"What about you?" He asks tentatively. He can already sense it. I shrug my shoulders, no longer feeling very chatty.
"We don't have to talk about it now, but maybe you should explore your options. I can help you. We can figure it out." I don't know how he knows.
It's not that I'm annoyed about him wanting to go study in Paris, or that he got accepted into these two amazing Universities. I feel behind like I'm running out of time. Everyone else already has a plan, at least an idea of where they're going or what they want to do, and I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this in-between.
But it's hard. It's hard to plan out your future at 16, especially when you think you have none. When it seems like the world is ending. When you're so busy worrying about tomorrow that you can't focus on the big picture.
"I think I'm going back to my dorm for tonight," I say, clambering out from under his arm.
He gets up nervously, "Are you okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted to talk."
"I'm fine, it's okay. I just need to be alone for a little bit." I continue to the door. "By the way, I'm happy for you."
So sue me, it's the best I can come up with for now. I'll make it up to him later. I feel horribly guilty when I walk away. Argh why can't I just be normal?
It's not weird that I already miss him, right? Obviously, I don't expect him to change and accommodate his plans just to be with me. I mean, we've only known each other for 5 months.
Maybe I could apply to a college in Paris too, not a nice fancy one like him. Just something in the city, I've always wanted to travel more. My dad would think that I'm throwing away my future by moving to Paris just to be with a guy.
I groan in frustration before opening the door to my dorm.
"Hi." Holy shit.
"What are you doing here Lola?" This is the first time I've seen this girl in our dorm in weeks.
"It's my dorm too y'know." Her eyes are bloodshot, but different than normal.
"Have you been crying?" She ignores me and turns around to keep shoving stuff into a large black garbage bag. That's when I look around and realize that the piles of clothes, the magazines, the food wrappers, and the unused textbooks have all been shoved into big fat garbage bags.
"You finally got expelled, didn't you?"
"Shut the fuck up, Amelie. God, you've always been so," She doesn't finish her sentence. Instead, she reaches under her bed to pull a box out. She's sobbing now.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so insensitive." I do feel bad.
"The headmaster found out that I've been living off campus. She went crazy. It was my last strike. She's so fucking stupid. Going off about second chances or some shit, and that I've been skipping too much. Something about me always smelling like grass. I don't fucking know. She called my parents. They're pissed, Amelie." It occurs to me that she's never mentioned her parents. You'd think she was born in the woods and raised on the streets or something.
But she wasn't. I find out in the afternoon when they come to pick her up that her mom is Renee Michelle. Renee Michelle as in Michelle Cosmetics, the multimillion-dollar company. Her dad is some sort of investor. I'm not sure, but he's wearing a custom suit and a flashy expensive watch. All I know is that she was right, they were pissed. Her dad is red, while her mom is stiff with anger.
It occurs to me that Lola's parents could have never been less than what they are. Only the richest and smartest attend here. Only the kids whose parents no longer know what to do with them at home.
I watch as Lola's parents march toward their fancy black car, powerful in every way. Lola trails after them, the most uncomfortable and sober I've ever seen her.
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aaaa, finally updated:) If you've stuck around, ilyyy.
