𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑴𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑺 (A TMF AU)

🕯️Heaviness of Thought

24th May, 1996.

I slung my bag over my shoulder as I walked down the stone steps, as soon as I took the last step I was shortly interrupted before I could walk any longer. "Gdzie się wybierasz?" (Where do you think you're going?) I heard a familiar voice behind me, I turned around and saw my sister standing at the door. "Dlaczego się przejmujesz?" (Why do you care?) I scoffed. Veronica moved to America a bit later than me, I moved here first with my aunt and my uncle. Mom and dad are still on their way. She moved here in February, and now she thinks she can boss me around just because our parents aren't here until next month. "Jestem twoją starszą siostrą, mam się tobą opiekować, dopóki mama i tata nie przybędą." (I'm your older sister, I'm supposed to take care of you until mom and dad arrive.) She stated as she furrowed her brows, leaning onto the door frame. She always had a mean look on her face, ever since she was a kid.

"Cóż, powinieneś był to zrobić wcześniej." (Well, you should've done that sooner.) I retorted. She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. Summer was near, I could already hear birds singing in the distance, the river beside our house was flowing smoothly. I could faintly hear its waves splashing against the rocks, "Czy nadal żywisz do mnie urazę?" (Are you still holding a grudge against me?) She asked as she dug through her pockets and took out a pack of blue Chesterfield cigarettes. I looked away as I stayed silent. "Cokolwiek. Masz zapalniczkę lub zapałki?" (Whatever. Do you have a lighter or matches?) She asked as she rolled her eyes looking through her pockets again, adjusting her black tank top in the process. I sighed as I searched in the back pocket of my bag, I took out a box of matches and threw it towards her. "Dzięki." (Thanks.) She said as she caught the matches.

"Nie mów mi, że znowu zobaczysz tę Chloe." (Don't tell me you're gonna see that Chloe girl again.) She scoffed as she swiped the match across the box, swiftly using it to light her cigarette. My heart sank as soon as she mentioned Chloe, how did she know about her..? "Jak to zrobiłeś.." (How did you..) I gawked. "Mam swoje powiązania." (I have my connections.) She replied as she threw the box of matches back at me, almost hitting me directly in the eye. "Nie mogę w to uwierzyć.." (I just can't believe..) she hesitated as she took a puff of her cigarette. The smoke already filling the air. She looked down and frowned. "Uwierz w co?" (Believe what?) I asked as I started to grow impatient. "Nie mogę uwierzyć, że jesteś w związku z dorosłym Luke'iem. Ona ma 26 lat, ty 15!" (I can't believe you're in a relationship with an adult Luke. She's 26, you're 15!) She yelled, well now that she said it like that it does sound a little bad.

"Więc? Ona mnie kocha, a ja ją!" (So? She loves me and I love her!) I yelled back in defense. She frowned and for the first time, she seemed upset and even slightly disappointed. "Luke.." she sighed. "Ona cię wykorzystuje, dlaczego tego nie widzisz?" (She's taking advantage of you, why can't you see that?) She said solemnly, taking another puff. "Ponieważ może po raz pierwszy w życiu naprawdę czuję się kochan." (Because, maybe for the first time in my life I actually feel loved.) I replied as I turned around, I could already feel my eyes start to sting. It's like I had a lump in my throat, I was on the verge of tears. Chloe understood me like no one else, she paid attention to me when no one did. I don't care if she's older than me, she cares about me. "Więc mama i tata sprawili, że poczułeś się tak niekochany, że uciekasz się do dorosłych kobiet, które wykorzystują cię, aby wypełnić tę pustkę w twoim sercu?" (So, mom and dad made you feel so unloved that you're resorting to adult women using you to fill that void in your heart?) She asked, a look of dread in her eyes.

I turned around and furrowed my brows, choking back tears. "Zamknij się Weronika. Skąd możesz wiedzieć, jak to jest być niekochanym!?" (Shut up Veronica. How would you know what it's like to be unlovable!?) I exclaimed. "To nie moja wina, że ​​mama i tata lubili mnie bardziej niż ciebie!" (It's not my fault mom and dad liked me more than you!) She replied, immediately covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes wide. She looked like she regretted what she said. "Zawsze taki byłeś." (You've always been like this.) I sighed. Well, I appreciate the honesty at least. "Łukasz. Jeśli nie zakończysz tego związku, powiem mamie i tacie, OK?" (Luke. If you don't end that relationship I'm going to tell mom and dad, alright?) She warned as she tossed her cigarette to the side. My eyes went wide as I froze in my spot completely, if mom and dad found out I wouldn't even see the light of day again.