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FRIDAY
OCTOBER 25TH, 2019
9:23 PM
i slid my finger across my macbook touch bar to turn the volume down.
it had been officially a week since gwen and i actually considered ourselves somewhat a couple. i hadn't asked her to be my girlfriend just yet, i thought it was too soon. i also didnt know how to ask her how to be my girlfriend.
my dad never taught aaron or i how to woo girls, it kind of just happened naturally. of course i knew how to respect them, but i was never taught proper etiquette.
i knew to open the door for a lady, whether it be car or building. pull her chair out for her, walk her home, always compliment her. simple gentleman things.
but i didnt know how to ask her to be my girlfriend. i wanted her to be, i did. i would've used mckay for advice but he'd freak and probably never talk to me again.
"i was watching that," she giggled. i looked over at her and smiled, "can i ask you something?"
she took in a deep breath and sighed, "i knew this was coming."
"knew what was coming?" i asked her and sat up. i admired her lace camisole and plaid pajama shorts.
"okay, i only told like..." she began counting on her fingers which concerned me a bit "six people that we were dating, thats it."
i chuckled, "only six people?"
"is that too much?"
"its not, i uh," i reached for her hand, "i was actually gonna ask, can i tell six people too?"
"are you asking me to be your girlfriend, nate?"
i smiled.
"well you're in luck," she said then leaned in for a kiss. it was perfect. sensual. she shut my laptop and slid it across the bed. i took in a deep breath, "w-what are you doing?" i whispered.
"shh, you scared?" she giggled. i raised one brow, "why would i be scared?"
"maybe because i am.." she said quietly and sat up on her knees staring at me.
"scared of what?"
we were separated by a foot and 3 inches. it could've been my demeanor, it could've been my physicality, it could've just been me.
"im a virgin, nate. i know you probably dont think that.. the stories, the rumors."
truth is, i didnt believe any of them.
"no, i know. and i dont want to hurt you, so we dont have to." i said calmly. but i wanted to.
i rested my arm behind my head and leaned back. she rested her head on my stomach.
"but i like you, nate. i do. and i want to have sex,"
"youre innocent, youre pure. and i dont want to be the one to take that from you." i said and looked down at her. she looked up at me, "but would you if i asked?"
i took in a deep breath. "listen, gwen. i dont want you to regret it,"
"but i won't nate, i promise."
i bit the inside of my cheek. i knew that if i gave this girl what she wanted, she had two choices. leave, and get to say i took her virginity. or stay, and say i took her virginity. i mean everyone would know.
"alright," i patted her back lightly signaling for her to get up, "do you have any idea of what youre getting into?" i said as i headed for my bedroom door to lock it. i then walked over to my drawer to pull a condom out.
she shrugged, "i mean ive seen a few videos, but they all look fake."
"youre right," i chuckled, "those are for entertainment, i mean sure you can take tips-"
"youre stalling." she said nonchalantly, "are you nervous?"
"i dont want to hurt you,"
"well i read," she crawled towards me, "if im aroused, it should not in fact hurt." she whispered and looked up at me her nose was aligned with my belly button and her eyes looked directly up at me.
her hands then traveled into my waistband which led me to crawl on top of her. i lifted her camisole up slightly and pressed my lips against her stomach without breaking eye contact.
"uh-huh, then what?" i said and rested my hand on her left breast. she was so beautiful.
she quickly looked down at me then back up at the crown moulding on my ceiling. "we'll there's foreplay," she smacked her lips, "very important." she let out a little giggle.
"seems like you did do your research," i said then reached for the condom, "hold this."
she grinned, "dont mind if i do-"
"honey im headed to.." my moms voice faded as she got a glimpse of what was going on, "condom?"
gwen flung her arm in the air to clarify that yes, we were having sex. protected at that.
"i will leave you two to it," my mom said then slowly closed the door.
"what a rush," she squealed.
she was ecstatic. gwen was a fireball. throughout the week i spent with her, i noticed small things about her.
everyone perceived her as a slutty, mean, bitchy dancer. i mean sure, she could be sometimes. but gwen was a lover girl. she still watched cartoons, and she was afraid of the dark.
i liked how she still maintained a classy image. always shaved legs, never stubby. fresh brazilian wax as of now, i hope she continued. her hair was always done. her rotation of styles always kept me on my toes. silk press, knotless braids, sometimes even a lace front. her nails were always done. she would always have a fresh set, french tips were her go-to. medium length square.
i knew all of this because i studied her. it sounds stalker-ish, but i knew the only way to get through to her was to know her. if she ever asked me what hairstyle to get i would know. i wanted to be prepared. and i knew with being with gwen, i need to know a lot more than a simple one two.
before you know it, we were done. that was it. i was now responsible for taking her virginity. i didn't know how i felt, to be honest.
i lied on my stomach and looked at her while she looked at me; we were dazed. all she could do smile.
