Stray Kids Imagines

An Encounter

Felix

TW: Depression and thoughts of self-harm.

Long story

The happiest people struggle with a dark past...

It was 8 pm on a Thursday; I was supposed to be getting ready to meet everyone at the venue. But instead, I sat there on the floor in the corner of my bedroom as I didn't have the strength to move. Hot tears burnt my skin one by one, leaving stains on my cheek.

My eyes were puffed and bloodshot; I lost some weight from not eating. I almost dehydrated myself, but I needed something in my system, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to fade away some days; some days, I thought being dead was a good idea after everything that happened. Did I think of vanishing? Of course, I do, but I felt mentally and physically weak, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was suffering so much; why wouldn't the pain go away?

I stayed in the house for four days straight. I tried going food shopping, but a wave of shame washed over me. I virtually closed the front door and headed back to my room where I stayed; that was the first day; since then, I have stayed in my bedroom and only really left to go to the bathroom.

This all happens. I feel like this because my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me five days ago. After all, I found out she was cheating me on with another man that she met on a 'work trip,' but I heard from her friends that they had been having an affair with each other for a while in our shared flat while I was working or on tour.

Our friends kept warning me that something was going on, but I ignored them, saying she would never do anything to hurt me. So I kept trusting her, but it all came to light when I comforted her. Everything everyone told me was true; I felt like an idiot for not believing them.

All the lies she told me that she would never do that to me, using me for my money and 'fame,' the pain I am suffering right now is all because of her. Two years together! Two years! Now, it has all been thrown away. I feel so empty and lost.

I started to shut everyone out; everyone I knew tried contacting me. The boys, my family, and even my next-door neighbor tried to see how I was doing, but I never picked up the phone or answered the door. I felt worthless and a burden to people so much that I wanted to be alone. Then, everyone will virtually leave me, and I will be okay.

Memories started to fill my mind, making my whole body uneasy while millions of thoughts ran through my head. I kept curled up in the corner with my knees pressed up against my chest as my fingernails dug into the skin of my legs, dragging them down and leaving dark red marks. My heart was shattered into pieces; I must try and move on and get rid of this pain. I don't know the best way, but I will find a way, even if it kills me.

When I was washing my hands in the bathroom, in the corner of my eye, I saw the new razor I had bought a few days before. I stared at it for a long time, the same thought coming to my head that I had been having for the last few days. No one would even notice I am gone.

My hand traveled towards the razor, picking it up and taking the cap off it before guiding it towards my arms. Looking in the mirror, my red-blooded eyes stared back at me from the reflection. Why am I doing this over some girl, a woman that I loved? A woman who hurt me in many different ways.

Tears form back in my eyes. I dropped the razor onto the floor and grabbed onto the skin, sobbing even more. Deep down, I know someone will miss me; I must stop these thoughts and be strong. My doorbell rang as I was about to pick the razor off the floor. I looked at the bedroom door as if I wasn't expecting company, walking towards it and pressing my ear against it.