The archive of the forgotten

Ten whole years

Ten years. It's an awful long time to miss somebody. I start the old-time car he bought for my 18th birthday with all the money he saved up. He bought it a wreck and spent months and months repairing it.  Today is the last day of my journey. I know I will find him today. I feel it in my gut. It also helps that I know where he is.

As I begin to drive on the highway I try to remember the last time I saw him. We were drinking a bottle of rum, it was already twelve in the evening so he was already legally drinking, well, the only problem was that this was not the first time we were drinking on the roof. The roof I am reffering to is the roof of an abandoned mansion. He once swore he would live in a house like that, or even rebuild this one. But it was our place, other people were scared of it or thought it was ugly but it was our paradise. We loved every single moment there. But I distinctly remember the smell of the alcohol that last evening, it smelled of belonging and fun back than. Now it smells like hopelessness. He was singing I dreamed a dream from les miserables under his breath. I didn't know if the moon was simly reflecting on his face or if he was crying.

I took a deep breath. "It's three in the morning Ery." I said as I grabbed my jacket and stood up. "I know" he said while not moving a muscle. "I'm already going" I said while fluffing my reddish hair and putting on my denim jacket. His dark green eyes were still fixed on the blue sky, swallowing his soul and perhaps giving him hope. "I'll see you tomorrow Ery, I think it'll rain today so I would recommend going home tonight." "I do not want to go home" "You can come with me" I say as I lift my guitar. He shakes his head as he sits up, his eyes are covered by his long black hair. "I think I'll stay here for a while..." "Alright what you prefer" I respond. I walk away, "See you tomorrow." I say as I descend the ladder. "Timmy?" "Yes?" I respond. I find his dark eyes and he smiles a bittersweet smile which I didn't understand at the time. "I really love you" I chuckle and said, "Me too."

I met Erebus when we both were seven years olds. His Father named him Erebus because it means darkness or gloom. Both his parents seemed to hate him. I still do not know why. It was always so  funny to us that his name was such a big mouthfull and my name was simply Tim, yes, it was oficially timothy but I did not know that yet. I was only seven! Can you blame me? I miss him, I look at the picture that is still my screensaver. Such a fun picture, he is flipping of the phone with a gritty expression on his face, he's wearing a see through shirt and a vintage leather jacket. And on his shoulders there's me in a pristine pullover and dress shirt, my hands in a heart shape and smiling like an idiot. Maybe we didn;t look alike but we were so similar, in everything we did. I chuckle, how I miss him

I remember finding the letter on the abandoned mansion when he didn't come to visit me the next day and he wasn't at home either. I know every word by heart.

Dear tim-tam,

You once told me that you wanted your very last words to be I love you, the last words I chose to say to you were those same three words. I hope you won't hate me for this, but timmy, I cannot continue living like this. All the times I have been saying that I would go home I have slept somewhere under the stars. I am so happy with my inexpensive old little car, it's become my home. I have been returning home every once in a while but it is absolutely unbearable timmy. I can't do it anymore, and now that I have my school diploma and I am an adult so I can basically run away. And that is also what I am doing, I promise I won't do anything stupid. I am planning to get money in some or the other and after that I will try to study something! But I must warn you timmy. Don't look for me, I don't think you'll find me. It only hurts when I will be reminded about it.

I love you, You have always been the most important person to me Timmy. I doubt that I will forget about you. But I don't think I can or should carry on like this, so I must say goodbye.

Your friend,

Erebus        

I arrive in soho. I know where he lives, he surprisingly has a mansion but he owns a bookshop. I never expected him to own a bookshop although it seems like it would be something he would thoroughly enjoy. I also know he owns one of the record shops on the same street. I wonder how he got the money for all of it, but perhaps it would be better not to ask with a type like erebus. I know he changed his name, he calls himself Dolion now, he's going viral because people love his bookshop and the fact that a person that also models as a side job owns one.

I drive into the street of the bookshop. I read the name of the bookshop it's called. It's called the the not so secret bookshop. I look at a poster, it is an advert for a project about getting kids to read and it's called TTTTTR, namely Timmy took the time to read. I smile, did he really use my name? I am trying to muster up the courage to go inside when a dark silhouette emerges from a coffeeshop and walks towards the bookshop. I look a little closer, I recognize him.....it is him, still long black hair, wearing sunglasses he is holding a leather jacket and he has extremely many tattoos on his arms. He takes off his glasses and looks into the sun, I remember the green eyes so well. I feel his eyes lock with mine. I feel panic setting in. He smiles, and salutes me with his middle finger like we always used to do. I immediately start my car and start to drive away, this was a bad idea. He wanted me to leave him alone!

A few blocks down I stop and try to stop the tears in my eyes. I shouldn't have done this, it was a stupid idea. I am too sentimental. What must he think.....

My phone rings. I take a deep breath. Saved by the bell. I pick up the call. "Hello this is Tim Green. Who is this?" "I am happy your number didn't change. You're talking with Erebus" a deep quiet but clear voice answers, his voice sounds like water violently crashing down a waterfall. it seems peaceful but it is so rough. It is him......I feel my mouth fall open.