The archive of the forgotten

The better one ~ the school

Years ago

I run over the bridges, my heavy iron armoured boots make too much noise on old stones of the roads. They drag themselves more than I wish they would be, they're great for kicking but not that great for running I realise now. I feel my dry bloodied lip curl up in determination as I run towards the bridge. The water under it is just as black as the smoke filled night sky that no longer presents stars. The evidence in my bag feels heavy as I slip under the crossing gates in front of the moveable bridge. I duck as the officer tries to grab me and I keep running towards the hight point of the bridge as it slowly become higher and higher, and with that steeper. My own voice echoes in my head, don't stop, don't stop. As long as you don't stop you won't fall back down right into their laps. As the crevice between its two sides slowly becomes bigger I realise I won't make the jump towards the other side. As long as the bag disappears my friends will be fine. I take the bag off my shoulder and jump.

As I fall the wind combs through my hair and I forgot how high it is. I feel a tear in my eye as I understand that I am going to die. I still hear the Officers screaming orders at each other wile I am still falling. Then my breath is knocked out of my lungs. I land on the hard imagined top of the water and gasp in pain. I close my eyes as I sink into the water. I once knew how to swim but if I want to remember is a different question. I breathe out and wait for the hug of death. I was meant to die when I was born.

But instead I feel a hand grabbing the back of my head and yanking it our of the water. I gasp as they pull my hair and I throw my arms frantically around me in absolute panic.
"Xadrian Alyx Wyn, I hereby arrest you." The officer says as he drags me to the side of the river.
"What for!" I scream as if I don't know and I spit in his face.
"Insubordination." He says and punches me in my stomach.

I gasp as I sit up in my bed. I rub my eyes, I can't stop dreaming about that night a year ago, every time I close my eyes it appears. The months in prison awaiting my trial, I shake my head. I was just 15 how could they have put me in such a prison? I shiver and try to forget it. I comb my hand through my long black hair and quietly step out of the triple bunk bed of the insubordinates. I sigh and put on my boots. They stand out under the white linen night shirt that was issued with my uniform.

I look back, twelve boys are housed in the loft where normally only one boy would have their room. At nights this place gets too cold, it's the only place in the school where there's no heating. Reintegration boarding school they call it, I call it false hope. We won't get the same rooms that those boys with parents that pay for them will have. No, if we are lucky we can start early in the mines so we can fund our education. But otherwise we will always be insubordinates on top of being....the wrong sort of people. I'm only here because they didn't have any evidence that I sabotaged that train, but it will always be something I am proud of. I wonder why they can't see that we are just as bright, as cultural, just as.... Human as they are. But no, we are lesser humans. We are Fíalynds, and as soon as your nationality is that you are not as good as the Awnlunds and it is alright to treat you like less than a horse.

I walk through the cold and beautiful halls of the school and kneel at the locker of one of the teachers, I pick the lock and open it to reveal a packet of cigarettes, matches and a bar of chocolate. I smile and grab everything. I climb the stairs and pull out the ladder to the roof. I open up the hatch and fresh air overwhelms my lungs. I chuckle as I climb unto the roof and walk to the edge. I feel a numb tear on my face and take a small bite of the chocolate. I light a cigarette and breathe out and look down, the high building feels strange, you never realise how high this is.

"Stargazing are we?" I hear while I try to take the last step.
"Not really." I say as I look forward. He sits down next to me.
"Mind sharing a cigarette." He asks as he looks at me.
I frown, he has blonde hair and blue eyes. I tilt my head. I hand him my used cigarette, expecting him to throw it away, as every sane Awnlund would do. But he just takes a puff. I frown and shake my head.
"Someone like you won't convince me." I say as I look down.
"Someone like me? And convince you of what?" He asks as he looks at me. His broad shoulders mimicking the officers that flood our streets.
"How fucking dense are you? Someone like An Awnlund, and not to kill myself you daft prick."
"I'm only half Awnlund, otherwise I wouldn't be allowed in a school like this. So who's daft now." He says with a smile. I try to sputter some smart thing but he only smiles. "Besides if I would like to stop you from jumping I would just tackle you and carry you back down. You have a small enough frame."
My back straightens and one of the corners from my lips curls in annoyance. "Well, you act like one."
"Why do you want to die?" He asks, taking a bite of the chocolate.
"They're going to kill me anyway, I would like to die on my own accord." I say as I shuffle closer to the edge.
"Yeah, I won't allow that. You're too annoying." He says, stands up and grabs the back of my nightshirt.
I throw away the cigarette and move my elbow into his ribs with a good amount of force. He gasps and falls back, I tackle him and turn his arm onto his back as I kick him to the ground.
"Don't underestimate a small frame." I say as I take a bite of the chocolate that I lifted from his hand.