The archive of the forgotten

My brother Aspen

I look at the brave sea as the angry waves swallow the rocks near the coast and swallows them again. I dig my hand in the slightly wet sand, the grains are uncomfortable underneath my nails. I hear someone walking up to me, my brother sits down beside me, his burgrundy red trousers and light blue formal shirt blowing in the wind. "You'll catch a cold" I say as I see his blue feet. He shrugs, "You're not really wearing that much more." I look at myself, I am wearing a turtleneck and coat, so that isn't very accurate but Aspen could win an argument about why grass is red. He hands me a glass of whiskey while he pours himself a glass.

"Tomorrow going back to hell...... let's taste a bit of heaven first." I nod as I take a sip but I do not like it at all, I must confess I haven't had whiskey before. I only really drink wine back at home, but my brother loves to drink hard liquor so we'll do that for him tonight. "You don't like it do you?" He says with an amused smile, "No problem my dear brother." He says as he wraps his arm around me. "I thought it tasted like petrol the first time I tasted it." He says with a smile. I look at him, he is probably not even aware how much I appreciate him talking to me like this. "Aspen, I do not want to go back to our parents." "I remember the first year I lived away from home. Of course I was younger than you were but......I finally understood what it felt like to have a home. It made me strangely happy but also sad. I had never known a home," He chuckles. "While being part of a noble house." He shakes his head. "No, I understand your dread completely Evan. You've become so much more free since I have taken you in, I am delighted to see that." He lights his cigarette, "Thank you Aspen." "I mean it Evan, I know....I know I do not say this enough." He looks at the sea and I see the salty tears in his eyes, I always wonder if that might be a part of the ocean deep within us. "But I really love you."

I look at my brother, fascinated he feels the need to say this. I can feel he loves me, everyday he shows it. He is more loyal than my own parents, more loyal than friends, more loving than anyone I have ever met. "I know that Aspen, why do you think you need to say that?" he shrugs, "I...we just weren't raised with the ability to show it. I cannot detect love that easily, it is sometimes hopeless. I just was never taught to show it, so I am still struggling.I want you to know I love you little brother." I frown, "You normally don't say it." He shrugs, "We need to have eachother when we return."

I look at the interesting appearance of my brother, his elegant patchwork tattoos on his neck and the palms and the back of his hand, the ones on his arms are covered by his light blue shirt. Most of them have to do with the history of our family, his books, other literature, stars or the people he loves. He does not have a partner but he shares his mansion with me and another boy, Cato. An auburn haired, freckled, green eyed nerd who is kinder than anyone I have ever met. I always wonder what exactely they are but he never tells me. I believe that is because both of them are afraid to be more than best friends. My eyes stray towards the scars in patterns on his knuckles. I smile, when he wasn't allowed to get tattoos when he turned 18 he carved artwork into the back of his fingers. He was a wild child, while simultaniously being the golden boy. His bumpy nose and pale green eyes are beautifully framed by his femenine face, his long black hair doesn't help I chuckle the irony.

"We should go back inside, you need to sleep. Tomorrow we need to leave early." I nod and stand up. "Yeah" He stands up and walks towards the water. "aspen?" He doesn't respond, my heart starts beating faster. "Aspen!" I say while running towards him, he turns around, he is standing in the rough water, the waves swallowing his body again and again. "What??" He says with a smile as he almost gets thrown off his feet. I chuckle and shake my head. "You'll catch a cold." He walks out of the water "And you've caught the rare disease of parental instinct." He jokes while wrapping his soaked arm around me, I run away, trying to avoid the wet hug.

I put on my simple suit and stuggle to put on my tie. Aspen has only taught me a double and single widsor. "Are you ready?" Aspen asks while entering the room. "Almost." I say as I sigh. He smiles and grabs the tie, "Eldredge or trinity knot?" I smile, "Eldredge please." He nods and starts tying my tie. "You look good Evan." He says. I smile and look at his suit, he is wearing a dark green, almost black suit and a silk blouse with a turtleneck, he is wearing my old pearl earrings and a bun. I gave them to him when I didn't want earrings anymore and he has worn them almost every day since than. The trousers of his suit are beautifully wide and he is of course wearing brogue derby shoes. "I feel underdressed" He shakes his head and laughs "I am overdressed and you look absolutely handsome, you look very masculine Evan." He finished the knot and puts his hands on my shoulders. "You look perfect. I love your hair, a hockey cut right? Be proud of yourself, sometimes we must force just a bit of arrogance." He says with a smile. I look at my signet ring, it is a lady one. He smiles and walks away, he returns with a signet ring of his own. "Here, one of my first ones. I hope it'll fit. You deserve to be treated the way you truly are."