Wicked Souls

02

I glanced up at him "She's older..."

"Older..."

He nods slowly, his brows slightly raised as he takes in the information.

"Can you give me an approximate age for her? Or maybe a description? Does she have any defining physical characteristics other than her age?" he asked a few questions. 

I looked away, my hands had become shaken. 

He pauses when he notices the shaking of my hands. He is concerned about my state of mind and wants to ensure that I remain comfortable. He softens his voice and lowers the tone of his questions. 

"I am sorry if this is a sensitive or painful topic," he looks at me with concern.

"If you would like, we can move on to a different topic. Is there something else that is bothering you or is causing you stress?"

I shook my head "C-can I go back to my room?"

The psychiatrist feels a wave of relief, glad that he is not inflicting any unnecessary pain or discomfort on me. He nods and smiles softly. He wants to establish a sense of control and trust for me. 

"Of course, Aella. We can stop here if that's what you wish," he pauses momentarily.

"I do ask that you please come back and speak with me whenever you feel up to continuing. Is that something you can agree with?" he looks at me.

I nodded.

He smiles and nods in acknowledgement, pleased that I have agreed to return for another session. 

"Alright, I will end the session here,".

He pauses for a moment before continuing.

"Just remember, this is a safe place. I am here to help you work through your feelings and thoughts. There is nothing you can say or do that will change my feelings about you. I only seek to understand you more so I can assist you,". 

I just nodded as I pushed the chair back which made a squeak against the marble floor.

He listens to the sound of the chair scraping against the floor, the only audible noise in the room. His voice is soft and gentle as he breaks the silence.

"Are you feeling any better now? Would you like to walk back to your room together or would you prefer to go alone?" 

I thought for a moment, I disliked walking the hallways alone so I looked at him with soft vulnerable eyes "Together," I said quietly.

His tone is soft and kind - he can hear the vulnerability in my voice and wants to do whatever he can to comfort me.

"Of course. I would be happy to walk with you,".

He stands up and gestures for me to lead the way. I am in control; he wants me to feel safe and comfortable and is prepared to go at my pace.

I started to leave the office with him following.

He follows me, his pace in sync with mine. He doesn't want to be walking ahead of me or trying to rush me. The most important thing for him is that I am always comfortable. He will make sure that they take their time and only move as far as I am willing to go. His goal is not efficiency or speed, but instead patience and understanding.

I kept sauntering, looking around at the other patients.

He notices that I am looking around at the patients and stays alert for any changes in my mood, behaviour or demeanour. He tries to read my facial expressions and body language to see if I am becoming uncomfortable or anxious. His main concern is keeping me calm and relaxed, so he will remain completely focused on my every more if necessary.

I just strolled down the corridors until... One of the patients is having a breakdown. 

He immediately focuses on the source of the incident, his body language immediately changing from attentive to concerned. His movements are fluid and his expression turns serious as he observes what is taking place. With one hand at the small of my back, he leads me away from the scene, not wanting me to feel threatened or upset by the incident. 

"That person is always sad," I said quietly, finally giving a proper sentence. 

He nods, his tone still gentle and soothing "Many of the patients here have been through a lot. The mental health issues and problems they have can create a deep unhappiness and sadness within them," he looks at me, hoping to gain more insight.

"Do you know why this person is always sad?"

I shook my head "I don't speak, I try not to,".

He nods, understanding that I prefer to avoid any form of conflict or uncomfortable conversation. He doesn't want to push me too far out of my comfort zone and decides to switch up the topic of conversation.

"Do you mind if I ask you a different question?"

I shook my head.

His tone was warm and appreciative.

"Thank you,".

He pauses briefly, thinking about what line of inquiry to explore next.

"Do you have any favourite hobbies or activities? I understand that you prefer to keep to yourself and avoid conversations, but is there anything that you enjoy doing?"

I thought for a moment then decided to speak up "Drawing,".

His ears perked up a bit, surprised and fascinated by the sudden break from my reserved and reticent nature. He is thrilled that I have opened up to him and he wants to encourage me to keep speaking by showing his genuine interest.

"Drawing?" His tone is soft and excited.

"Would you consider yourself to be an artistic person?"

"Not really, it is just to get away from the monsters at night,".

He nods his head in understanding, although he is slightly worried by my reference to 'monsters at night'. He wonders if I might be suffering from vivid nightmares and sleep paralysis. This is definitely something that he and I will need to explore together in future sessions.

"Interesting... So it is something that you only do at night? Do you have a hard time sleeping? Or is it more simply a way to relieve the stresses of the day?"

"Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping depending on the night or the patients... But I like drawing in general,".

He nods, his tone still calm and relaxing as he listens to me talk. 

"Do you draw any specific subjects or do you simply enjoy drawing for the sake of making artwork?"

He pauses for a moment, trying to think of other questions to ask.

"Do you ever draw portraits of people? Or perhaps landscapes and buildings?"

"I draw what haunts me," I stared into his piercing blue eyes.