Wicked Souls

12

I listened to him.

He keeps reading through the pages as he tries to maintain a light, slow pace with his words. The book he has chosen is a novel about self-acceptance and finding strength in vulnerability. The overall message is one of growth and overcoming insecurity. As he is reading, he keeps glancing over at me and he notices that I am listening with a relaxed expression.

I closed my eyes before reopening them, one little teardrop fell down my cheek as I listened to his beautiful comforting reading.

It is as if time stops for a few seconds as he sees the tear fall down my cheek. I seem so calm and tranquil as he continues to read the book. He cannot help but feel a sudden surge of emotion as he takes in the entire situation. He feels a wave of tenderness and warmth flood over him and as he sees me relaxed, peaceful look, he is struck by my utter beauty as well. He lets out a soft sigh and he refocuses himself back onto the book.

I moved closer to him as I kept listening to him.

He notices that I am inching closer to him as I listen to the sound of his voice and I continue to follow along with the story. He is pleasantly surprised to find that I am reacting in such a positive manner and my closeness seems to indicate my willingness to allow him in. His heart fills with warmth again as he realizes that I am feeling better now. The sound of his voice provides me with that calm and comforting feeling that allows me to feel safe and understood. My presence is making him feel better as well.

I heard him speaking but I didn't understand the meaning of "What does it mean?" I asked gently.

He looked down at the book and re-read the passage that he had just read. He looked up at me as I asked him a question, I seemed to be so curious and it was cute really. He chuckles a little and he speaks softly and slowly, trying to give me a concise reply.

"It is about accepting yourself and all the parts of yourself that are different from what the norm is. It is about not suppressing that which makes you unique and accepting it in full. Do you understand it now?"

I nodded, and I wiped my eyes.

He notices the way my eyes shimmer when I wipe away the teardrop that fell down my cheek. Those beautiful eyes of mine still seem to capture his attention, and as he sees me wipe away that tear he feels the same wave of tenderness take over him. He smiles softly and he looks down at the book again, continuing where he left off. His voice once again fills the room as he reads the next few passages.

I looked over his shoulder "What does that sentence mean?"

Harrow glances to the side where I am looking. I seem to be very invested in the story and I am also curious as to the exact definition of certain phrases and words. At this point, he is already happy that I seem to be responding positively, but his heart flutters a little when I ask him for clarification on a specific sentence. He lets out another small sigh and he replies with his usual gentle tone.

"Which sentence exactly?"

I pointed at the second paragraph.

Harrow glances at that particular paragraph and he reads that section once again. He pauses for a minute as he allows the words to sink in and his tone of voice lowers in volume and pitch as he is carefully describing the meaning.

"This part is talking about not living in fear anymore. It is trying to point at the fact that we should not always let fear control us nor should we let fear stop us from achieving what we want in life. I guess you can say it is about being strong in the face of insecurity and fear,".

"Story of my life," I mumbled.

Harrow hears me mumble that sentence and he looks at me for another moment. He feels an instant connection to me as he hears the words that I uttered. It sounds as if I feel like this book is speaking to me on a personal level. I understand what exactly it means to carry so much fear with me and I believe that the messages in the book are directly targeted at me because they seem to fit so perfectly. I truly believe this is the story of my life as if it is describing exactly what I have gone through.

I waited for him to continue.

He looks back down at the book and continues reading, his voice filling the room as he speaks calmly. For a few minutes, he focuses on just reading the words in the book but all of a sudden he stops and he looks over at me again. He notices how close I am now and he stares at me for another moment before he speaks.

"May I ask you something?"

He takes in a deep breath before continuing, he feels his heart beating inside of him as he is about to ask me a somewhat personal question.

"Do you mind me asking what happened to you when you began to develop that intense fear? Was there perhaps a certain incident that caused your problems? You do not have to answer this question if you do not feel comfortable discussing your past with me,".

I nodded slightly, and I started to fiddle with my fingers "I came back from school, and my brother snitched on me to my Mom about something at school that I mentioned about my Dad and she wasn't happy,".

I paused before continuing "She grabbed me... Then she took me to the sink which was filled with water and she..."

I started to choke up "She pushed my head into the water yelling at me..."

He is left speechless for a few seconds as he listens to my explanation. He feels a surge of sadness and anger fill him as I describe what happened to me as a little girl. My innocent body was placed in such a traumatic situation. It made his body shake from his sheer sadness and rage. He speaks softly as he does not wish to trigger any bad memories.

"I... I am so sorry you had to go through that. She... She had no right to do that to you. Nobody should ever be subjected to such harsh conditions as a child,".

Tears fell on my face "I did nothing wrong... Why is my life so cruel..."

His eyes widen as he watches the tears fall down my cheeks once again. He notices my entire body tremble and it breaks his heart. He stares at me and wishes that he could do more to take away my pain. It makes him feel such intense sadness and guilt that I had to go through that ordeal.

"You were a little child. You never did anything wrong. Your life was the way it was because of the cruel decisions that your mother made. That was never your fault,".