Wicked Souls

09

The repetitive words were uncalled for however I couldn't control it, I grabbed onto his legs no clue where I was, who I was to be in fact. The guards began to come closer, they were talking to themselves wondering if they should grab that calming injection however they didn't want to get in Harrow's way.

Harrow sees the guards move in closer, but he is not aware of their consideration to inject me with calming sedatives. He hears their murmurs and sees the concern on their faces, but he wants to keep them on the outskirts of the room until he is certain that this panic attack is under control. He rubs his hands through my hair and he speaks softly in a calming voice to try and ease me from your hyper-focused state.

"Your in my heart, in my heart. In my head," my voice began to get raspy as I felt a sudden pain and anguish with this situation where I screamed from the gut as the image I was witnessing in my head was disturbing. 

He notices my scream, hearing the sheer amount of pain and agony in my voice. He realizes now that my flashbacks have become so intense that I am actually experiencing them as if they are happening in real life. This is too much for him to witness and it causes him to begin to feel some helplessness himself, not knowing how to properly help me in this moment. He tries to speak as I continue to scream in agony, wanting to reach me somehow.

After a few moments, I started to calm down from him holding me. I grabbed onto his shirt as my head snugged into his chest, my breathing began to slow down, and I held onto him. 

He notices some small improvement in my state of mind and he begins to speak to me in a soft and calming tone, hoping to help ease me even more. He wants to provide some sort of comfort to me during this vulnerable and scary time, and he tries to keep me calm and composed as he holds me against his chest. He also begins to speak softly to me, trying to bring me away from the intense flashbacks.

I held onto him, gripping him for dear life, I heard the guards' voices as one mentioned 'crazy' in their sentence, and I said quietly "I'm not crazy..."

Harrow's heart breaks as he hears one of the guards calling me crazy, so he leans down to whisper into my ear.

"You are not crazy at all, you are simply experiencing a lot of inner turmoil and suffering. It is not because there is something mentally wrong with you, but because you have gone through too much pain and have lived in an unhealthy environment where you did not feel accepted and loved. The problem is just that, not you,". 

I looked into his eyes, and tears fell down my face "I'm not crazy, tell them," I begged as I sobbed before the guards were sick of my actions, they forcefully grabbed me from his arms. I screamed they held me by the forearm, I kicked my legs as tears fell down my face. 

He is surprised by the sudden change in the guard's attitude and how they are forcefully grabbing me away from him. He stands up and shouts at the guards to stop, that they are only making things worse by dragging me away from him. They do not seem to want to consider how scared and vulnerable I feel at this moment, as they are simply carrying out their duties. He screams, "Look at her, look at her and the state she is in. She needs support and comfort, not force and hostility,".

I kept crying, I looked at him the guards just flung me to the ground their actions were uncalled for, and they complained that they don't get paid enough before they left the room, I looked at him crying. 

Harrow is stunned that the guards would act in this unprofessional and insensitive manner. He could not believe that these men saw me in such an intense and desperate state and just reacted without thinking about the consequences of their actions. He is angry that they were so careless with my emotions and feelings in such a vulnerable moment, and he is disgusted by their behaviour. He stares at me, looking directly into my eyes with a fiery look of compassion and kindness. He wants to make sure that any damage they cause to my emotional well-being, he will not stand for this.

I crawled over to him, held onto his arm for comfort and cried into his arms "D-don't leave me please," I pleaded. 

Harrow holds me in his arms once again, wrapping himself around me to prevent the guards from trying to take me away again. He realizes that I need comfort and support right now and he doesn't want to leave me in such a broken state. He holds me tightly in his arms, allowing me to cry into his chest and feel the warmth of his embrace. He whispers to me, "I won't leave. I won't leave you here. I won't let them take you away from me,".

I held onto him, I didn't want to leave his side these past days it made me feel like I finally had someone to go to, attachment issues were starting and I was scared that he would leave me for some other patient. 

He notices how deeply attached I have become towards him and he understands just how much his presence means to me. He senses a sort of fear and worries that I have, that he will just suddenly leave me alone and move on to another patient. He whispers into my ear calmly to allay any doubts that I may have about the possibility of being abandoned.

"I promise I will not leave you. I will always be here for you. I am in no hurry to leave and I want to be here to provide you with the love and support that you need right now,".