Wicked Souls

27

I shrugged.

He knew that I was hiding something now, I didn't seem like someone who just ate any random food, I was a picky eater and I probably preferred certain types of meals or dishes. But the fact that I wasn't talking about it was rather worrying since he figured that I may be dealing with a symptom that was preventing me from eating.

"Tell me...Do you have any difficulty swallowing or eating food?"

"They keep serving seafood, I don't like seafood," I said.

"Okay...so you just don't like seafood, the food here is mostly seafood?" He asked calmly as he understood that aspect...but he was still wondering if I had any difficulty swallowing or eating my meals as well. He wanted to know everything fully before drawing any further conclusions regarding the reason as to why I wasn't eating.

I nodded.

"Alright.." He spoke calmly as he realized that my symptoms were probably just limited to not liking the food there. He then took notice of how I was still facing away from him, was there some other reason why I was avoiding his gaze all the time?

"Aella...Please look at me for a moment,".

I turned and looked up at him.

I finally looked at him again and he noticed how I was looking up at him. He smiled softly as his calm and gentle expression remained on his face.

"Thank you..." He said softly as he looked at my facial expression for a moment. He now asked the next question which was the one that he was rather hesitant to ask but he needed to do so.

"Let me ask you something..."

"Is there anything else besides seafood that you refuse to eat...or that you tend to refuse when eating?"

"I don't like vegetables," I said.

"Okay...you don't like vegetables either...Are there any other foods you don't like besides just seafood and vegetables?"

"Just that,".

"Okay...then are there any other reasons as to why you haven't been eating? Besides just not having an appetite due to you not liking a few kinds of foods,".

"I don't like when I have to sit in the cafeteria, I feel like people are staring at me,".

He felt somewhat relieved because it seemed like there was a reason for this besides just not liking a certain kind of food. He figured that there was probably some severe anxiety or nervousness that was preventing me from eating there.

"Do you feel like this often when you're eating inside the cafeteria? Do you have a fear of people staring at you while you eat?"

I nodded.

"Is this a common fear of yours? If so, did you just develop this fear of others staring at you when you were younger, or have you been dealing with this for some time now?" He asked gently and calmly.

I nodded again.

"So this has been a recurring and ongoing experience? You've dealt with this fear of others staring at you while you're eating for a long time now I assume?" He said calmly as he tried to further understand exactly how much I struggled with this fear.

I nodded, then went back to rolling back into my side away from him.

He saw that I had gone back to lying on my side, and he figured that I preferred to not face him while having this conversation. He tried to stay calm and gentle in this moment as he spoke again.

"Are there any other situations that cause you to feel very nervous and uncomfortable?"

I shrugged.

I shrugged and he remained silent for a moment as he let me think. He wasn't going to force me to answer anything, he wasn't going to pry, so he decided to just sit in silence for now.

I said really quietly "Can you read to me again?"

His expression slightly lit up as he heard what I had asked. He was quite glad that I wanted him to read to me again, he felt that it was something positive for him and he enjoyed doing this activity with me each time. So he quickly responded to that request with a smile and a gentle tone.

"Of course I can...Which book would you like me to read to you this time?"

"A nice one," I said gently.

"A nice one...okay I'll use my discretion for that one, I'll see which book I think would be the nicest to read to you today," As he spoke, he stood up and wandered over to his shelf with all the books that were stored over there. He began to look through and filter through each of the books on there and he then decided to pick out one particular novel that he thought would be nice to read to me.

He picked out the novel that he decided on for today and he then walked back to the bed with it in his arms.

"I've picked out something nice for today," He said calmly and gently as he then sat back down by my side. He glanced at the book's cover and then he opened it up and he began to read off the first page.

I turned over and I closed my eyes as I listened to him.

His soothing and calm voice began to fill the void of the room as he continued to read from the first page. He spoke each word with care and with an accurate vocal pace which made the story and the words seem much more vivid. He was now going to start the second page, he wondered whether I was falling asleep or if I was staying awake for this, so he glanced over at me to check.

I still had my eyes closed.

He took notice of how I had my eyes closed as he glanced over at me. As he was reading, he figured that there were two possible scenarios. The first one was that I was starting to fall asleep, which would be rather nice if I did fall asleep during his reading since it would mean that it was so calming that it put me to sleep. The second one was that I wasn't falling asleep but that the reading was just nice enough for me to keep my eyes closed, either way, he didn't mind it.