Wicked Souls

11

I looked at him.

He stares at me, feeling the intense concern grow inside him as he awaits a response from me. His emotions are still a mess after last night and he is unsure how to handle them. He rubs his hands against his face and he stares at me, noticing the small cuts on my wrists and my overall vulnerable look.

"What?" I continued to look at him.

Harrow's voice lowers in pitch and he speaks softly, trying not to cause any unnecessary irritation or distress.

"I was just observing... I noticed that there are some bandages on your wrists. I am guessing, if it is not too difficult to say, that you caused the injuries to yourself,".

"I guess,".

He pauses for a second upon hearing my reply before he lets out a soft sigh and looks down at my hands. My response does not surprise him, as he is aware of how often I self-harm. He also understands that this behaviour directly results from how I have coped with my issues over the past years. He shifts in his seat before he speaks again.

"I understand why you do this. Believe me. I understand that this is how you cope with the intense emotional pain and anguish that you feel. I get why,".

He tells me with complete empathy and understanding. He is not simply saying that this behaviour is bad or wrong, but he is trying to show me that he understands where my behaviour stems from.

"But?" I looked at him.

He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing. His gaze is still fixed on me and he tries to make it clear that he is only telling me this out of genuine concern.

"But this type of coping mechanism is not healthy, at all. It does not serve you or help you heal over the long run. Instead, it causes more damage and scars that may never heal entirely. It is a short-term solution that will ultimately hurt you more,".

I just stared at him "I was scared okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

He shakes his head as he hears my explanation. He does not want me to justify my actions or to put any excuse over it. He is still trying to find the best way to approach this situation and he wants to be as understanding and accepting as possible.

"I was not looking for an explanation. I understand that you did this out of fear. I was simply trying to show you that I understand where the behavior comes from, and why you do it. I am not judging you, I am just concerned,".

"Really, you're concerned?"

He nods his head, being completely genuine about what he's saying. He does not want me to feel abandoned or judged in any way, and he certainly does not want to be the reason that I am feeling hurt and scared by trying to advise on a situation where it is not wanted. He speaks softly and with a tone of understanding.

"I am. I am always concerned when I see people like you, who have been through so much but find it so difficult to heal from it all,".

"It didn't feel like it from last night," I spoke up.

Harrow notices how much my tone shifts after mentioning the events of last night. He realizes that there is still a lot of residual anger and frustration over what happened in that office, and he is beginning to understand the source of my attitude towards him. His voice lowers in pitch slightly as he replies to me.

"I am truly sorry for the way I reacted last night. I was worried and it caused me to become a little too intense and pushy. I should not have approached you in such a hostile manner,".

I shrugged.

He notices that I am still giving off a pretty closed-off and disinterested tone towards him. He is not sure how to continue, as this is not going the way he had hoped. He feels the emotions coming back inside of him, just like last night, and he wonders if he has to deal with a repeat of that same situation. He stares in silence for a few seconds hoping that I will say something that will indicate the shift towards improvement rather than another argument.

I waited for him to speak.

Harrow notices that I am remaining silent, and he realizes that this is not going anywhere unless he is the one to break the silence. He swallows and takes in a breath before speaking softly.

"May I ask you a question?"

I sighed and then slightly nodded.

"Is there anything that I could say to you to make you feel better right now? Because I want to make it up to you for the way I treated you last night. I want you to feel comforted and at ease with me again,".

"What are you going to do? There's nothing to do in here," I said.

He thinks for a few seconds before coming up with an idea. He looks at me and he speaks in a kind manner.

"I was thinking... I could read to you, read some nice novels or stories that you might like. That way you can just hear my voice and be distracted for a brief while. I also have some books that have positive messages that should boost your self-esteem and make you feel better. Do you think that sounds like a good idea?"

I thought for a moment then nodded.

He is relieved that I allowed him to change the mood of the moment. He smiles softly before getting up and walking towards a bookshelf in the corner of the room. He goes through some books and he picks out a few that might interest me. They mainly consist of stories that carry an uplifting message and are filled with positive energy. He brings the books over to me and he sits on the chair next to me.

I looked at him and got comfortable on my bed.

He looks at where I am sitting, noticing that I have all settled in and comfortably on my bed. His eyes linger on me for a second and he looks away, trying to focus on the task at hand. He takes a breath and leans back on the chair before starting to speak.

"Alright... let's see..." He scans the names and summaries of the books before he settles on one. He opens the first page and he starts to read from it, the soft sound of his voice fills the room.