Wicked Souls

18

My constant chewing on my lip slowly begins to grow to the point where it's really noticeable. Now it seems to be much more pronounced and his curiosity starts to grow even further. I am experiencing some sort of tension and anxiety, but he is unsure about a lot of things. So he decided to finally speak up and ask me directly.

"May I ask, is something bothering you?" His soft and gentle voice floats gently across the room towards me as he raises his head and shifts his attention away from his work for a moment.

"I am struggling with what colour blue to use, the sky keeps changing," I answered.

My answer took him by surprise, he did not expect this to be the cause of my frustration and anxiety. However, what I said made sense, as the skies outside do shift colours slightly due to the gloomy weather. He now knows why I chewed on my lip, a habit I exhibit when I'm nervous, he now understands. He also realizes why there was a certain sense of anxiousness and tension coming from me. His face brightens slightly as he responds to me.

"The skies do tend to change colour when it's gloomy, don't they," He responds gently as he shifts his attention back to his work, he was trying to think of other things that could make the colour blue easier for me to choose. Perhaps his insight could be of use to me and my art.

"I think the weather likes to change on purpose," I said.

"I think so too," He responds with a soft chuckle as he nods his head slowly, he agrees with my statement of the weather changing on purpose. He also notices that my tone of voice has become slightly more light and playful, an indication that my anxiety has started to ease. He continues to look over at me with a soft smile on his face. 

I stood up and walked over to him "Which blue should I use?" I showed him the different coloured pencils.

"Hmmm," He looks at the different coloured pencils I show him, as he studies each one of them in detail. After a moment he makes a decision and responds to me.

"This one," He says as he lightly grabs one of the blue pencils from my hand and points to it.

I nodded, walked back to the couch and started to draw again, I spoke softly "What's your favourite colour?"

"My favourite colour?" He said softly as he thought for a moment about the question. The subject had never come up before so he was thinking back on it for some time.

"Hmm... I think I would say dark green is my favourite colour, it's a very calm and soothing colour to me," He responds, shifting his attention back towards me as he waits to hear my response.

I nodded "Dark green is a nice colour,".

"Indeed it is," He responded, his smile growing slightly larger as he glanced over at me. I seemed calm and relaxed as I drew, it was clear I was no longer experiencing any anxiety and the tension seemed to have slowly subsided. He continues to watch me carefully as he studies my movements and my behaviour.

"Could I ask a question?" I asked softly.

"Of course," He responded softly as he shifted his attention from my drawing to me personally. His voice and his tone carried a hint of curiosity and the desire to know more about me. He wanted to know what the question that I wanted to ask was.

"Why did you decide to do this job?" I asked, I was curious to know why he wanted to help people.

"Why did I decide to become a therapist?..." He paused for a moment as he thought about the answer to my question. His soft smile remained and he looked up at me, his eyes locked on mine. He wanted me to see through to his soul and read his words carefully as he spoke about why he joined this profession.

I nodded.

"Well, I've always been passionate about helping people. You see, I come from a background of a lot of hardship and trials. I understand pain, and I understand the struggle," He says with a hint of seriousness in his voice, the topic is a sensitive one for him and I can tell it's a subject that he has a lot of experience in.

"I wanted an opportunity where I could use my experiences to help others and bring some sort of closure, comfort, or healing. That's why I decided to become a therapist," He replies with a soft tone, he was being open and vulnerable before me as he explained the truth about why he joined the profession. I could tell that he was a very caring and compassionate individual.

I nodded "That seems nice," I didn't know how to respond a lot due to the lack of attention I had experienced.

He notices my nod and notices my soft expression as I listen to his answer. He also realizes that due to the lack of attention I experienced growing up, I tend to be more reserved and more quiet. He gently places his hand on my back and rubs it softly as he continues to speak.

"May I ask you a question now?"

I nodded.

His voice drops to a lighter and softer tone as he speaks, his hands still resting gently on my back.

"How come you're always so drawn to my office and spending time here?" He said he was intrigued by my constant visits to his office despite my appointments only being once a week.

"Uh, I guess I like the attention and the company I have received this past month. I feel safe when I am near you and if I am alone, I just feel like I am empty and scared. It's scary," I answered his question but I didn't look at him instead I just continued to draw.

Harrow could hear the honesty in my tone as I answered him. He also finds that I am less inclined to make eye contact, perhaps it's a sign of discomfort or insecurity? He's unsure, but what he realizes is that I feel more comfortable and safer around him than I do when I'm alone. This made him feel that I was growing more and more dependent on him and he wanted to help me gain more independence. His hands are still resting gently on my back as he speaks.

"May I ask one more question?"