Wicked Souls

36

Tears began to fall from my eyes as I got more and more upset, I felt as though it was clear why he wasn't coming to visit me, and it was also clear that it was probably my fault. I figured that I most likely had done something that led to him ignoring me, which was the reason why he hadn't visited or even reached out to check on my condition at all. This made me feel even worse as time went on, I remained curled up in my bed, not wanting to move at all.

I started to curl up in my bed even more, I continued to remain in a dark and lonely place mentally for days, as I just laid there, all alone. I was feeling as though he had just given up on me and that he was now just ignoring me altogether. Things only seemed to be getting worse for me as the days went by, my mind remained set on blaming myself for the reason why he hadn't visited or reached out in a while now...

I got out of bed, walked out of my room and walked over to the receptionist "I want to sign myself out of this place," I had tears down my face as I spoke to the receptionist.

The receptionist looked over to me, and seeing that I was walking over, they could see that I had tears down in my eyes. They immediately realized that I was distraught as I spoke.

"Sign yourself out?" They spoke up in a confused tone, that wasn't exactly something I was able to just freely do without any consequences. So they figured they would ask for clarification first before giving me an answer.

I nodded.

"You know... you can't just sign yourself out," They responded in a warning tone as they saw me nodding, they were trying to set some boundaries and make sure I didn't do something I'd later regret. Even though I seemed set on leaving for now, they also figured that once I calmed down, I might just change my mind.

"Well fuck you then," I walked off agitated.

My sudden reaction and outburst, they seemed to be taken off guard by my sudden outburst, however, I didn't care. I walked off agitated as things didn't seem to be going in my favour. I continued to walk out of the office and into the lobby, but then I thought of another idea... if they wouldn't let me sign out, then that just meant that I had to go another path... which was to force myself to get myself kicked out, which I then proceeded to do...

I proceeded to proceed to act quite disruptive in the lobby, I was trying to be as loud and obnoxious as I could be. Yelling and shouting and just being generally disruptive. I wasn't bothering the receptionist but I knew that I was going to be a nuisance to the other patients. I just wanted to make sure that they wanted to kick me out of this ward.

My loudness and disruptive behaviour continued, and as expected... it was bothering both the other patients and the staff. Other patients were now starting to get annoyed by my loudness and general disruptiveness, and the staff found themselves in a bit of a tough spot. Since none of them were exactly happy with how they were now being disrupted by me, they didn't exactly want to let this continue.

So they tried to get me to calm down, at first, they tried to be gentle and nice with me. But I refused to listen and my behaviour only continued, so then... they decided to take a different approach, one that was a whole lot more strict.

"Call for Dr Harrow," A worker said to another worker, I tried to walk away but they grabbed me gently.

They immediately had one of the staff run over to one of the nurses and alert them about what I had done. The nurse then proceeded to tell one of the male therapists. As a result... they had told them to go and get the head therapist, Dr Harrow, this meant that I would be seeing him soon enough. In the meantime, they had tried to gently keep me in place as they waited for him to arrive.

"I can be as disruptive as I damn well please..." I kept on yelling and shouting as I tried to slip out of their grip. But they refused to let go as they continued to try and hold me in place before Dr Harrow arrived.

"Just calm down, you're only making things worse for yourself..." One of the male nurses spoke up as he kept on holding onto me, trying to keep me calm and still. But I was refusing to listen and I simply kept on yelling and shouting, refusing to calm down at all.

"Fuck you all," I said loudly until Dr Harrow walked into the main entrance.

The moment he came in, everyone turned around and looked at him. I turned around, feeling annoyed and frustrated, but as soon as he stepped inside, I immediately froze in my tracks and just went completely silent. I suddenly became quiet and I didn't want to say anything more as I was now looking directly at him. I had no idea how he would react to all of this.

"What exactly is happening..." He suddenly spoke up, he had heard the commotion as the workers tried to call him over here, and he had felt like someone was acting disruptive somewhere in the lobby. He had no idea it was me though, the moment he laid eyes on me, he and everyone else who was present realized that I was the culprit behind all of this...

I looked at him and then tried to walk off however the male nurse grabbed me.