Wicked Souls

38

He gently squeezed my hand as he began to walk slowly with me once more, not letting go of me. It seemed like he did plan on making sure to be around more for me now. After all, I was somebody that he now actually cared about... and he didn't want to see me hurting anymore...

"...Let's go... to my office..." He spoke softly as he started to walk over to his office with me in hand. Once the two of us reached his office, he quickly sat me down on one of the chairs, and he then sat down himself. He proceeded to look at me before speaking up once more in a calm and collected manner.

"Now..." He began to say, he didn't want to keep me waiting any longer, after all, it was time for the two of us to have a little talk.

"So... let's talk..." Dr Harrow spoke gently and invitingly, he had already made up his mind that he was going to dedicate more time to me from now onwards, he wanted to make up for the weeks that he had left me alone. So he had no intention of wasting any more time here.

"About?" I asked.

"About your recent outburst, about you feeling like you did something wrong... and just about your overall well-being in general," He started to explain before giving me a second to process that. He wanted to take this slowly as he felt that I'd react negatively or get defensive if he tried to rush me, which was not his intention at all. He wanted to handle this with the kindness and respect that I deserved.

I looked down then shrugged "I tried to sign myself out but the receptionist didn't let me so I thought maybe to get kicked out,".

"...You tried to sign yourself out?" He asked politely, not wanting to come off as angry or confrontational with this question. He simply wanted to get the full picture at the moment. He already knew about the outburst and what had led to that moment.

"Mhm,".

"Okay, so... why did you want to sign yourself out of this place?" He then proceeded to ask, once again he wanted to get a clear picture and understanding about what was going on here. He didn't want to make any assumptions about things, instead, he wanted to get the whole story behind what I did.

"Because it looked like you didn't want to be my therapist anymore," I admitted.

"...That's... understandable..." He responded softly, he had to admit that I had every right to feel that way, and he couldn't even deny the fact that he had indeed made things a little more difficult by not visiting me for the past 5 weeks when he was supposed to.

"Why did you even leave me for that long?" I asked.

"...A variety of reasons..." He responded politely as he decided to be as open and honest with me as possible. "Some of which were work-related and some personal,".

I nodded.

"So... I do apologize for leaving you for so long, and not paying attention to you like I should have..." He spoke gently and apologetically, he did feel guilty for this, but he also wanted to make sure that I understood he had indeed been busy.

I kept nodding.

"However..." He suddenly spoke up again, there was a second part to this, and he didn't want to just let that slide. "I should have still visited you, and I can understand why you felt like I didn't care about you because of it..."

I nodded again.

"...So... from now on... I promise to make things right... I will make sure to visit you more frequently, I'll take the time to check up on you more often, but..." He proceeded to add again. "But... that's only if you allow me to do so... and you are willing to let me help you..."

I thought for a moment, but eventually, I spoke up "Okay,".

"Now... is there anything else that you want to say... or that you want to get off your chest...?" Dr Harrow asked softly as he looked at me in a calm and collected manner, he wanted to help me and figure out any other problems I might have. Right now though, it seemed like things were slowly but making progress.

I thought again then shook my head.

"...Alright then..." Dr Harrow seemed to not mind this and was content with the outcome so far. He was pleased that I was open to allowing him to help me in the future, and that was all that matters right now.

"Now..." He started to speak again as he crossed his hands in front of him. "I believe our session for the day is up, is that alright...?"

"Whatever," I got up and left the office.

He made a note of me just saying whatever and being a bit vague as I got up and left the office. However, he didn't say anything about it as he knew that maybe it was just a bit of my temperament. He let me go about doing my own thing for the rest of the day and was pleased to see that I didn't seem too bothered about how the session ended. Maybe I was slowly improving...

I walked to my room, I started to hear voices in my head but I tried to forget it and ignore it. I continued to walk to my room.

Dr Harrow watched as I went to my room, he was still curious about me and he was genuinely concerned about what was going on with my thoughts. After all, he did know that I was someone who had tendencies of having hallucinations and hearing voices in my head. Was it getting stronger again... was it getting worse for me? He couldn't help but worry about this.

"Shut up," I said speaking to the voices.