Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 61: No Hard Feelings

"Out."

Alyssa's gaze lingered on Matvei, but it was as if she were staring at a stranger. The man before her bore little resemblance to the one she once knew so intimately. Gone was the playful lover who had delighted in tickling her in bed, his laughter a joy that had once filled their shared space.

Gone, too, was the man who had whispered promises of forever in her ear. His words were always a comforting embrace that had wrapped around her heart like a warm blanket on a cold night. The vows of eternal love that had once flowed so freely from his lips now felt hollow and distant, lost in the vast expanse of time and distance that had grown between them with just one word.

"Out." Alyssa whispered more like a question. "Matvei, what are you even talking about right now?" Her confusion was heartbreaking to all in the room. Alyssa looked at him stilled by the look of raw fragility in his eyes.

At that moment, something in Alyssa and Matvei broke. Gone was the reckless abandon with which they had loved each other. In its place was a deep-seated sadness, a profound sense of loss that threatened to engulf them in its wake.

As she looked upon the man she loved so fiercely, Alyssa couldn't help but mourn the potential loss of what they had once shared. She refused to allow their memories together to flicker like distant stars in the night sky, fading into obscurity with each fallen tear.

"Matvei, what the fuck are you saying?" Mikhail yelled angrily. He was two second from beating his older brother up and everyone could tell. "Yeah, Uncle Mik! Whoop his ass!" Eloise called out from the couch. He wanted to laugh at the excitable teen, but things were too tense for that.

"Matvei!" Mikhail shouted. "I can't do this, okay. I can't." Matvei moved to leave, but Alyssa stopped him. "Don't. Please, don't go." Matvei sighed as her hands intertwined with his. "Can we talk alone?" Alyssa looked at Matvei like the rose colored glasses she'd been wearing their entire relationship had been removed. His anger was palpable, but his brokenness was visceral. 

He didn't say anything. Matvei just made his way out the same French doors she walked in from. Alyssa walked behind him trying to figure out what she could say to resolve this. She racked her brain for words that would make him see that she loved him, but loved her family as well and needed both in her life to feel complete.

He took a seat by the pool and she smiled before sitting beside him. The waterfall provided a melodic soundtrack to the melancholy thoughts that swarmed them. "I always loved water. A bath. The shower. A pool. The ocean. It didn't matter. I just loved being in and surrounded by water." Matvei hummed a response. "Cleansing." He said and she looked at him with a soft smile.

They stared in silence for a long pregnant pause before Matvei cleared his throat. "Do you love me?" He turned to look at her and hated what he saw. Anxiousness. Insecurity. Fear. Emotions that he mirrored right back to her.

Matvei paused to collect himself, but there was no point. He was a mess and just spoke from the only part of his heart that worked. The part that beat solely for her. "When the sun rises I know it whispers your name, because I've heard it. When it sets, your beauty is mimicked in its hues. I love you because you're beautiful, but it's your heart and spirit that bind me to you. Aly, your loud and obnoxious cackles make me want to dance." 

Alyssa laughed at that before hitting him. "I wasn't expecting you. I wasn't expecting this woman with a soul as textured and bruised as mine to find me and erase almost every shadow in my life. I find peace in your arms. I feel like a child when I look into your eyes because you allow me to have childlike wonder that was stripped from me."

Alyssa didn't hide her tears as she listened to every word he said. "You, Alyssa Noelle Pierre," Alyssa cried harder at that as he smiled. "You make my existence worthwhile. Every beat of my heart is for you. Every breath that I take is for you. From the depths of my soul, Aly, I know that we're inevitable."